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Not all there, expressions. Tell your favorites


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In answer to the question "How you doin'?"

"Making progress steadily by fits and jerks."

 

"Fine as frog hair"

"Cold as a wedge"

"He ain't the brightest bulb in the chandelier."

"All the fashion sense of a paving brick."

"Was you born stupid or did it come by degrees?"

"Were you always this dumb or did you have to go to school to learn it?"

 

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5 cans short of a six-pack.

Light is on but no one's home.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

He's about as smart as a bag of rocks.

Dumb as a box of hammers.

He's all static.

Only has one oar in the water.

 

 

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The elevator goes to the top floor but the doors don’t open.

 

Dumber than a bag of hammers.

 

The light’s on but nobody’s home.

 

He can’t find his a** with both hands.

 

Ih he had a brain in his head it would look like a BB in a boxcar. 

 

She’s flakier than a snowstorm. 

 

If if you had a dime for every intelligent thought you’ve had you couldn’t make a phone call. (Dated, I know)

 

When they were passing our brains you were in another line, weren’t you, cupcake?

 

 

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If it's written, I like just referring to them as a 'jenius (misspelling intentional for sarcastic effect)'.B)

 

Dumber than a box of rocks works for verbal communication most of the time, but I'm not above using the old standby of 'idjit'.  If somebody wants to correct my pronunciation, I explain that I intentionally mispronounce it so that I don't insult idiots through association.

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A couple more:

 

  • He couldn't pour water out of his boot if it had instructions on the heel.
  • He's not playing with a full deck.
  • His cord doesn't quite reach the outlet.
  • He's a clown shy of a circus.
  • The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but there's no train in sight.

LL

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1 minute ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

kangaroos in the top paddock .....

 

Just now, Major Crimes said:

 

Snap, WJ

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A couple dots short on his dice.

 

When asked "How are you today"-- Pretty good if I don't check too close. Or, Not too bad for an old feller.

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On 12/17/2017 at 9:50 AM, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

tell things that you say about someone who is not running on all cylinders, my faves are:

 

elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top

half a sandwich short of a picnic

 

One tit short of an udder.

 

Not smart enough to pee a hole in a snow bank.

 

Looks like someone scattered his type.

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35 minutes ago, Sgt. Saywut said:

 

I sometimes rode the short bus, and I think I turned out just fine ^_^

 

I’m sure you did. 

 

None of the comments are complimentary, and I’m sure each of us has been the subject of one or more of them in our lives.  I know I have. Don’t take them personally.  

;)

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1 hour ago, Sgt. Saywut said:

 

I sometimes rode the short bus, and I think I turned out just fine ^_^

 

^You are pretty clever and cute but dont let my awe of you go to your head.  I was always on the bus from detention. ^

 

if you are going to be dumb, you better be tough.  (Guess thats why i am pretty tough.) 

 

Lifes tough, its even tougher if you're stupid.  ~John Wayne

 

Learn from the mistakes of others. You cant live long enough to make them all yourself.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Everyone has the right to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge.  (I was told that at work last week.) 

 

Hey train wreck, this isnt your station. 

 

I see your IQ test came back negative. 

 

Your gene pool needs a lifeguard. 

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Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

 

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

 

Not the brightest bulb on the tree.

 

About as sharp as a bowling ball

 

Or, to really confuse things:
 

Not the brightest tool in the shed

 

Or, as one of my First Sergeants would say:

 

There are no stupid questions, only stupid people asking questions

 

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