Trigger Mike Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 I want a law passed against colonoscopy prep day. It's too unpleasant and everyone is eating biscuits and gravy and hot dogs and hamburgers and leaving popcorn and crackers and chocolate candy in view. i don't like the sudden exit of past meals gone by either. I'm hungry but my stomach hurts. I was out at the barn and saw some blackberries and just as I picked one remembered I can't eat, much less something purple like a ripe juicy blackberry fresh off the vine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Oh Lordy! Don't let them see a blackberry in that colonoscopy! A living hell would start right there! LMBO. Pick them and enjoy when you get home. I pour cream on them with a touch of sugar and eat with a spoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Blackberries spoil too quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Mike Posted May 31, 2017 Author Share Posted May 31, 2017 in hind sight i told my wife we should have had turnip greens yesterday and then today i could drink the pot licker from the greens. then I could sing the Kermit the Frog song as it exited "It's Not Easy Being Green" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 A piece of advice. Unless you want to go through this again soon or worse, end up in a hospital for all kinds of glorious tests. DO NOT "NOT" FOLLOW THE DOCTOR'S INSTRUCTIONS! Ever had a Barium Enema? The special thing about this is they pump about 2 quarts into your bottom and then you have to hold it while the do scans on you which include turning from side to side on a cold table. It's kind of like what you would imagine was performed at the Spanish Inquisition. Oh, and while they are doing it the phone always rings in the monitor room....and the dirty rotten ******* answers it!!! While you lounge in agony. I think it's how some people in that vocation get their yucks. How about 2 or 3 hours in an MRI machine? This is a lot of fun....he said sarcastically.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 By the way, I am not kidding! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Mike Posted May 31, 2017 Author Share Posted May 31, 2017 once the VA hospital made me eat the bubbly stuff that had barium and they put me on a table and turned every which way and were hateful to me for not doing it like they wanted and struggling to swallow it all. they even had me prep for a colonoscopy back in 1998 but decided i was not empty enough and never did it. i will follow the directions better this time although the every 10 minute drink solution is already off schedule due to emergencies. it will be a while before i drink apple juice again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoken D Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 First thread I read, thanks! Going through what you are just a day behind. I'll have it done at VA this Friday. So tonight is my last meal on earth. Now this is what the VA in Columbia, Mo. does. Tomorrow fluids only then at 6 pm drink 1/2 gallon of the go-lightly. Friday 5 hours before leaving for Columbia (3am for me) I'll drink the second half of the go-lightly. Then the 2 hour ride to Columbia. They just sedate ya just enough to get ya to smile. Then you can watch the prcedure on a monitor set in front of ya. Yep, gonna be a lot of fun. Anyone know the number for 9-1-1? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clay Mosby Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 just went through mine a couple weeks ago, I actually didn't mind the taste of the prep, a little like seltzer water, but the time on the john not so much. Mine was bright and early on a Tuesday, so no food for me from midnight Sunday until I got home, and then only bland stuff for two days. They told me I would be "almost" asleep. They gave me the stuff and I was out like a light for the duration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reuben McCoy Rankin # 34239 Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 1 hour ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said: By the way, I am not kidding! No he is not kiddin! But he left out the worst part. After they pump 55 gallon of the Barium up your back door they stick a greased football in and say hold it in! And that table is at least 32 degrees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tascosa, SASS# 24838 Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Went through that a few years ago and now that Im 80 I reckon I don't need it anymore. Should be a better way than to have to eat jello and drink that stuff all day. If modern medicine ever gets out of the medieval age I will do it again. Maybe... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 21 minutes ago, Reuben McCoy Rankin # 34239 said: No he is not kiddin! But he left out the worst part. After they pump 55 gallon of the Barium up your back door they stick a greased football in and say hold it in! And that table is at least 32 degrees. Oh C'mon Reuben...you're exaggeratin'...It's 33 gallons and 34 degrees. Hey, you got a football? I didn't get a football...must be a Blue Cross thing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 I am a lucky guy...I had half my large intestine removed for Diverticulitus at the age of 39. They said I had the intestine of an 85 year old man. I have to get one of these every 2 years since and henceforth to watch for cancer. YeeHaw! I got me some 'sperience in this stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddog McCoy SASS #5672 Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 I got a note in the mail that my Doc want to schedule one for me. I really think that the note ended up in the pile of junk mail to be shredded. After listening to you all, I will make sure that it gets shredded at the first opportunity. Maddog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Mike Posted May 31, 2017 Author Share Posted May 31, 2017 i got delayed taking all the prep but got it all done now. my wife took the kids to get chinese buffet since i view the chinese buffet in town as a large garbage pile. i like sweet and sour chicken but the buffet is not appetizing. i hope she will make me some beef broth when she gets back to balance my sugar level. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Pat Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Look on the bright side, maybe you won't die from colon cancer. I have had polyps removed from colon before they got worse and on the other end they found a malignent cancer in my esophagus which the doctors removed with micro surgery! You are tough I know you can take it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major E A Sterner #12916 Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Just went through this procedure last week,That liquid was nasty,Lemon flavored stuff, The nurse said that is the best tasting of them all..They gave me prophanol (sp?) and knocked me out,Best sleep I've had in a long time.Went to the diner afterwar4d and had a Bacon & Cheese Bison burger with fries,Man was that tasty.Doc said I may have to get it done again in 3 years or 5 years depending on what he found. Y'all be good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reuben McCoy Rankin # 34239 Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 58 minutes ago, Maddog McCoy SASS #5672 said: I got a note in the mail that my Doc want to schedule one for me. I really think that the note ended up in the pile of junk mail to be shredded. After listening to you all, I will make sure that is gets shredded at the first opportunity. Maddog Don't do it Maddog. It is uncomfortable for a couple days but it sure beats the alternative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.D. Daily Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 1 hour ago, Smoken D said: First thread I read, thanks! Going through what you are just a day behind. I'll have it done at VA this Friday. So tonight is my last meal on earth. Now this is what the VA in Columbia, Mo. does. Tomorrow fluids only then at 6 pm drink 1/2 gallon of the go-lightly. Friday 5 hours before leaving for Columbia (3am for me) I'll drink the second half of the go-lightly. Then the 2 hour ride to Columbia. They just sedate ya just enough to get ya to smile. Then you can watch the prcedure on a monitor set in front of ya. Yep, gonna be a lot of fun. Anyone know the number for 9-1-1? I hope your transportation is a motor home. The time I prepped for a colonoscopy the drinking of 1/2 gallon of the OXYMORONICALLY named Go Lightly laxative was proceeded by several hours 3 ExLax tablets. Being as I had never taken a laxative in my life, I was extremely surprised at the effect it had on my intestines. I didn't make it the 35 feet to the toilet. This was before drinking the infamous juice which I knew not to be more than a few steps from a toilet after drinking the 1st glass. Had been there and done that. P.S. If you don't have motor home transportation please check into a hotel the afternoon before to prep for your colonoscopy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoken D Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 16 minutes ago, J.D. Daily said: I hope your transportation is a motor home. The time I prepped for a colonoscopy the drinking of 1/2 gallon of the OXYMORONICALLY named Go Lightly laxative was proceeded by several hours 3 ExLax tablets. Being as I had never taken a laxative in my life, I was extremely surprised at the effect it had on my intestines. I didn't make it the 35 feet to the toilet. This was before drinking the infamous juice which I knew not to be more than a few steps from a toilet after drinking the 1st glass. Had been there and done that. P.S. If you don't have motor home transportation please check into a hotel the afternoon before to prep for your colonoscopy. We have animals to care for so cannot go up the night before and stay at a motel. No motor home, though a friend offered to take me in his, but I did not want him to suffer having to listen to me that night. Ifen I still have stomach issues prior to leaving, will just call and cancel. I told them that info. My doctor tried to set it up for me to use a facility much closer, but VA would not approve. I canceled this twice because of their wierd procedure, but decided to go ahead and try, I know how important this test is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.D. Daily Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 1 hour ago, Smoken D said: We have animals to care for so cannot go up the night before and stay at a motel. No motor home, though a friend offered to take me in his, but I did not want him to suffer having to listen to me that night. Ifen I still have stomach issues prior to leaving, will just call and cancel. I told them that info. My doctor tried to set it up for me to use a facility much closer, but VA would not approve. I canceled this twice because of their wierd procedure, but decided to go ahead and try, I know how important this test is. Smoken, I hope you find a way get the colonoscopy done. I'd wear Depends for the drive and stop & change as necessary. What you pass after drinking the 2nd 1/2 gallon doesn't contain particulate. Have a package of flushable wipes to cleanup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Barleycorn, SASS #76982 Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Prep tomorrow, procedure Friday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Mike Posted June 1, 2017 Author Share Posted June 1, 2017 Smokin D maybe get a kiddie potty or a camping potty and line it with the bags in the walmart camping dept. a kiddie potty or a short enough camping potty you can set it on the car seat and go while she drives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shorty Jack Hammer Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 9 hours ago, Trigger Mike said: in hind sight i told my wife we should have had turnip greens yesterday and then today i could drink the pot licker from the greens. then I could sing the Kermit the Frog song as it exited "It's Not Easy Being Green" He said....."hind" sight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Been there, done that, war stories omitted ... all but one ... They told me when the cute little nurse hit the piston on attair syringe, "You're going to wake up and say 'Okay, you can start now,' and it'll be all over!" I said "Not a chance" and closed my eyes. I opened my eyes in another room and I was settin' up in an easy chair with a nice warm blanket over me and I said "Okay, you can start now." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Mike Posted June 1, 2017 Author Share Posted June 1, 2017 i was still expelling afterwards but they said I'm good for 10 years. the procedure itself was 20 minutes. I had fun before hand though. I told my wife where the life insurance policy is, where the combination to the safe is, what or who not to listen to about money after I'm gone and that the good news was if something happens she can sell my truck and get a car she wants. I must have been able to still hear them during the procedure as I kept dreaming about it all which means whenever I am close to a deep sleep i can dream about the activity around me or better put be slightly aware of it and see it in my mind. i was asking questions and BOOM-out like a light. then BOOM- Hi y'all . the anestetioligyst got onto me for not taking my diabetes medicine and said either take the metformin or lose weight and how she was at the gym at 5am. I agreed to lose weight but am thinking. 1. at 5am Im sleeping and 2. aren't you supposed to put me to sleep? why is my weight such concern. I'm also thinking I'm only slightly overweight not 500 pounds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Had my rotten prostate removed in 2013. Had to go through the same prep before surgery, and then couldn't eat or drink anything for a day or so post surgery. Now THAT sucks! At least you can indulge yourself after a colonoscopy. But back to the OP. I feel your "pain" and yes, there oughta be a law. One more thing. At my last colonoscopy, I asked them to give me the sedative slowly so I could at least have some fun that day. The nurse laughed her a** off and obliged. Not bad a way to do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry T Harrison Posted June 2, 2017 Share Posted June 2, 2017 No matter what the war stories you hear Get It Done yes it is unpleasant but so is crapping in bag the rest of your life. It's your choice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. James H. Callahan Posted June 2, 2017 Share Posted June 2, 2017 3 minutes ago, Henry T Harrison said: No matter what the war stories you hear Get It Done yes it is unpleasant but so is crapping in bag the rest of your life. It's your choice Hear hear! I've done it twice, sure as H&LL ain't no fun, but it can save your life. Watched two friends and my father-in-law die of colorectal cancer. Don't seem quite so bad after seeing that. JHC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Mike Posted June 2, 2017 Author Share Posted June 2, 2017 well since i will be over 60 by the time they said I need another one and cancer does not generally run in my family other than an aunt who smoked like a train had lung cancer, i may not worry about it no more. depends i guess on other things that come up. overall it was not a bad experience. i still had a bad stomach through the night afterwards, guess laxatives may still have been working. tonight i get spaghetti. woo hoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Rose, SASS #45478 Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 On 5/31/2017 at 3:11 PM, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said: A piece of advice. Unless you want to go through this again soon or worse, end up in a hospital for all kinds of glorious tests. DO NOT "NOT" FOLLOW THE DOCTOR'S INSTRUCTIONS! Ever had a Barium Enema? The special thing about this is they pump about 2 quarts into your bottom and then you have to hold it while the do scans on you which include turning from side to side on a cold table. It's kind of like what you would imagine was performed at the Spanish Inquisition. Oh, and while they are doing it the phone always rings in the monitor room....and the dirty rotten ******* answers it!!! While you lounge in agony. I think it's how some people in that vocation get their yucks. How about 2 or 3 hours in an MRI machine? This is a lot of fun....he said sarcastically.... I had one years ago and I thought it was 2 gallons. At least it felt like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Mike Posted June 4, 2017 Author Share Posted June 4, 2017 Jackson Rose my stomach forced me to violate the instructions so that instead of drinking it all in an hour and a half it took 3 hours so it was not so bad. it was supposed to be every 10 minutes, but soon as a drank a dose right before the next dose something required immediate attention so i took longer than told too so it was not so bad that way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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