evil dogooder Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 How do you know when it's time to let go? My grandfather isn't doing well. He's blind. Deaf. Has diabetes and last week had a stroke. Yesterday he collapsed three times. He has always been one of my role models. He was literally thrown out Of the house when he was twelve. To fend for himself. He paid for things by hustling pool, becoming friends with minnesota fats and that crowd. He never graduated high school but managed to own a multi million dollar construction company, raise 4 kids, and numerous foster kids. Was able to fulfill his dream of running a small dairy farm until my grandmother's death. Her costly battle with cancer wiped him out. Still he managed to find the joys in gardening and nature long after he lost his sight. This year is the 20th anniversary of my grandmother's death and i seriously doubt he's going to make the year. I want him to be out of pain and back with the love of his life but part of me selfishly doesnt want to let go. We have never been close do to the distance that seperated us and the fact he's never been one to let many people in. How do you let someone know it's ok to move on when you really don't want then to go? Sorry for the ramble. I'm not dealing with this well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 It's hard to let go of someone you admire. Let him know you admire and love him. Don't know if you are a praying or religious sort, but I find great comfort in the Book of Job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 I wish I had easy and comforting answers. The most important part, as I see it, is for him to be comfortable, safe and without pain while he is here. I will keep the two of you in my thoughts and meditations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Some things we have no control over, but you will always have your relationship with him. Share your feelings. As a person ages, life's values change. I too will keep you both in my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 My Nanny (Paternal Grandmother) was the one person in my life that I could count on when I was a kid. I loved her dearly. She had diabetes and a heart condition and suffered multiple heart attacks. I got to spend a lot of time with her before she passed and we both knew that her time was short and I cherished every day with her. When she was in the ICU, she asked for me to be allowed in to see her. I was only 14 and kids were not allowed in ICU but I was allowed in. She told me to be a good boy and that she loved me. I got to say my goodbye to her. Her passing rocked my world. I still miss her today and I am now 56. She was special. It took a long time to get past the pain of losing her but when I remember her I feel a comfort and happiness that I really can't explain. I remember all the great and wonderful things about her. I am a better person because of her and she's always in my heart. Losing someone that you love is never easy but having the memories of them in your life and looking back on the things that they did and that you did together may ease some of the pain. I will tell you what my Nanny told me. "Don't worry and don't think about what's coming as being bad. It's just part of life. Remember all the good things and the good times we had together and maybe someday we can be together again" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 1 hour ago, Subdeacon Joe said: It's hard to let go of someone you admire. Let him know you admire and love him. Don't know if you are a praying or religious sort, but I find great comfort in the Book of Job. Do it. Do it now! When I lost my wife I realized that I never told her often enough nor emphatically enough how much I loved her and how proud I was of her. Don't wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Top Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Pat and Forty, Words that ring true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Evil, Old Top is spot on in his reference to Pat and Forty. Is he still some distance from you? Whether he is or not... try to spend time with him. That will be time you'll hold dear in your memory forever. Meanwhile, you and your granddad will be in our prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
W. D. Pickett Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 One of the hardest things that I had to do was to tell my father to let go and go with the angels. This was the day after thanksgiving in 2001. I think that one of the hardest things to do is to let go of someone that we love and admire but also the greatest act of love we are capable of. Just because their physical body has died does not mean that they are gone. They live in kind acts in their names, donations in their names, passing on things that they taught us, and as the American Indians say, no man is dead as long as his name is remembered. May the Lord bless you and keep you in this time of trial. Remember that you do not walk through the valley alone, there are many who walk with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Harley, #14153 Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Been in your shoes. I know it ain't easy. Will keep you and your family in my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 I think the choice is an individual one. I hope no one ever tells me to let go. My decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Kris Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 Prayers up for you and your family, EDG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 Spend all the time you can He knows how you feel, I'm sure. Don't waste a second. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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