Trigger Mike Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 i have the flu and noticed my wife got really nice to me and acted like she did before cancer 2 years ago. I asked her why her old self showed up again and she replied because i was not being a jerk. so now i know, its been my fault all along. i hate being sick but am afraid i will be a jerk again once i am well. wondering what to do and to to stop being a jerk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Duncan Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 1 minute ago, Trigger Mike said: ...wondering what to do and to to stop being a jerk. Sex change? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Mike Posted March 26, 2017 Author Share Posted March 26, 2017 Hillarious but not an option, too expensive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 Perhaps you need to take a step back and look at what makes you act like a jerk. For me, it was my job many years ago. I hated it and took it out on everyone around me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 As Red Green would say " I'm a man, but I can change if I have to, I guess" for some reason it's easy for us tyo be jerks in our Ladies eyes! As Pat said, try to figger out why and then work on it. I Guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee Stud Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 What in the heck are you talkin' bout?... You post here freely... e ti lamenti 'di cosa? Veramente? I don't understand it. Mister... look... I should not interfere. ts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee Stud Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 ts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoken D Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 It's just natural for women folk to just hate men. So, just go with the flow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee Stud Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 Huh? Really? Take that in consideration. But... I don't buy it. Have a good'un. You best get up.... ts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 3 hours ago, Trigger Mike said: i have the flu and noticed my wife got really nice to me and acted like she did before cancer 2 years ago. I asked her why her old self showed up again and she replied because i was not being a jerk. so now i know, its been my fault all along. i hate being sick but am afraid i will be a jerk again once i am well. wondering what to do and to to stop being a jerk. Stay sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Assassin Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Artie Fly of Major Photography explained to me once, how he gets along so well with his bride. Phrases to remember; you're right, I'm wrong, I'm sorry, and try not to sound sarcastic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaleWolf Brunelle, #2495L Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badlands Bob #61228 Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 14 hours ago, Trigger Mike said: i have the flu and noticed my wife got really nice to me and acted like she did before cancer 2 years ago. I asked her why her old self showed up again and she replied because i was not being a jerk. so now i know, its been my fault all along. i hate being sick but am afraid i will be a jerk again once i am well. wondering what to do and to to stop being a jerk. Stop drinking the smoothies..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 It might be as simple as her old self showing up again because you need her to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yellowhouse Sam # 25171 Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 We often blame women's hormonal hurricanes for their behavior. I was pretty grouchy and no energy for a few years and my doc says lets check your testosterone. Now I'm only half as grouchy but I have a lot more energy and motivation. Get a good checkup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Mike Posted March 27, 2017 Author Share Posted March 27, 2017 jerk is a massive improvement as i used to be called something else much worse so i must be getting better. meanwhile I'm still sick and will be for a while longer. back before i started buying guns on my own, when we were so broke we only had a box of 25 cent mac and cheese i used to use a puppy dog look and id get whatever gun i wanted. i may try that look again. she thanked me for taking care of her when she had cancer. i may get to see the old her for a while Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 7 hours ago, Trigger Mike said: she thanked me for taking care of her when she had cancer. i may get to see the old her for a while I remember your trials and tribulations when she had the cancer. Maybe now that it's gone, you two can get back to what you used to have. I'd send a prayer or two for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seldom Seen #16162 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 T.M., I agree that you should look at what you are doing differently the last few days. In relationships power over the other partner becomes the most important thing. In my case my wife and daughter are automatically opposed to any and all of my ideas and suggestions. Over time I learned it was not worth the friction and arguments it caused to discuss ideas and suggestions I have. I will give you a couple of incidents to show what I mean; Our children are grown adults, married with children and live out-of-State for 10 years. We had a full size bed and dresser in a front bedroom that is on the small size. I suggested several times that we should move the bed and dresser to a larger basement bedroom. My wife absolutely said no. Then she decided to buy a large crib and dresser for the Grandchildren that are starting to be born. So she had me assemble the crib and put it in the same front bedroom. Now space is getting tight but I just kept my mouth shut. Then a couple of weeks ago she decreed that the full size bed should go to the other bedroom. Now. Then and There. Just as I was getting ready to go to a Gun Show. So the bed got moved right then and I missed most of the Gun Show.. Another example. My wife has decreed that when she retires in 5 years we are moving to Texas. Thinking ahead about improving the curb appeal I told her I want to plant three trees along our long driveway. NOPE! She told me she wants a Weeping Willow tree planted in the yard instead. (sigh) What works best for me is to simply do my home improvement projects without telling her and then letting her see the results. This brings favorable comments from her and since the project is done no discussion. (I will plant the trees I want during the week while she is at work or better yet when she is gone for a week visiting the kids). Selling our house is going to be a potential major source of friction. My plan is to simply do what she wants when we get ready to list it. If it sells for the price we want then I have avoided a major arguments with her. If it doesn't sell then she will eventually agree to my ideas as I hear almost everyday from her about moving to Texas. I follow this practice in all of the other areas of my relationship with my wife and daughter. When they are together it is like a tag team wrestling match. I already know that when it comes to buy a house in Texas I will be going up against the two of them so my compromise is as long as I get a man-cave for my hobbies (guns and model railroad) I will be happy. Big screen TV, dvd player for my movies, radio, computer, workbench, storage space for my guns and stuff, air conditioning, privacy...ah heaven on earth. What more does a man-cave need? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Harley, #14153 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Having read your posts about the trials and tribulations of the last several years, I wish you well. I hope there is a change in the air for your marriage and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The O'Meara Himself Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Many years ago a young man in his mid-20s stayed with us for a few weeks while looking for work. After being dumped by a girlfriend he said "You know what? Women are mean and men are stupid!" I think he nailed it. The O'Meara Himself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chili Ron Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Howdy, One idea is don't go first. When a problem shows up ask wife or daughter what they want to do to fix it. Yes you have seen the problem a thousand times and know what to do but just pause and let them go first. I bet you see a difference. Best CR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trigger Mike Posted March 28, 2017 Author Share Posted March 28, 2017 hey Seldom Seen, we have similar interest. I too like trains. My 2 sons like trains, my 7 year old more so so i build them layouts and fill the basement with them. mine got taken down as my wife and her friend decided they needed to go that i was too old for toys. i wasn't paying much attention to it then anyway. i do find if i just go ahead and do what i want to do she is fine but if i ask her first she says no. the other day i called her from Lowes and they had dogwoods so i asked if she wanted one, she said no. a few days later i went and just boyght it and planted it and no complaints. weird how yours is working. do they ever acknowledge that you were right all along? mine recognizes I'm always right but complains about it. says it is maddening. oh well. she has improved some it just has been a hard road. when she gets agitated i just hang out at the house right under her and take it as she comes. when she lightens up i go run errands etc. when our daughter got into a jam at school where another girl started writing her love notes and stroking her hair etc and claiming they were an item, i took care of it and took my daughter to lunch everyday and met with the teachers etc and got it taken care of since she can't function under stress. i shield her some and handle things for her . I just try to deflect external stress away from her and then she can work through internal stress as it comes. deep down i know she knows I'm not a bad husband and once in a while she has admitted I'm a good father so i just hold onto those times and try to get through the others. i still am mad at the doctors as there are many things they did not tell her their poison would do to her physically and mentally. i mainly posted this because i try to humorize stress and laugh it off and find it funny that I'm a jerk, as there are times a man should be. plus she says the army taught me to be a jerk and be the way i am. either way, I'm good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rye Miles #13621 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Coming from a bachelor (divorced twice) Women ARE MEAN!!! (but I love 'em!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Women are not mean. Not unless they have had a lobotomy first to calm them down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoken D Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Some women are just a reflection of how they have been treated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 6 hours ago, Rye Miles #13621 said: Coming from a bachelor (divorced twice) Women ARE MEAN!!! (but I love 'em!!) do I need ta come over there with my whip??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddog McCoy SASS #5672 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 29 minutes ago, Calico Mary said: do I need ta come over there with my whip??? Be careful Mary, He might enjoy It. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 HE probably wud....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rye Miles #13621 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 1 hour ago, Calico Mary said: HE probably wud....... Bring it on woman!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 I'll bring the whip, you bring the whipped cream..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rye Miles #13621 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 1 minute ago, Calico Mary said: I'll bring the whip, you bring the whipped cream..... I got it, Cool whip too!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 now where did I put those handcuffs..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Women are meaner to other women than they are to men!! I've observed this many times!!! I've witnessed way too many instances of spite and malice to put myself in a position to experience the ire of a woman. Like I said elsewhere, use their tactics and make sure they know what you are doing, and they'll back off of the confrontation and find a more harmonious approach! 40+ years of marriage convince me of what I believe!! 18 minutes ago, Calico Mary said: now where did I put those handcuffs..... I've got 'em in my gun bag!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 so THAT'S where I left em...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Shoulda' never loaned you my gun bag!! I wondered where those came from!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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