Smuteye John SASS#24774 Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 Do what ever you want I found out that is not what she meant. Ooh! Ooh! I know the meaning of that one! "Do what ever you want," translates into either* A.) "I've already trained you well enough by now for you to know the answer yourself." OR B.)"You better already know what to do, so go do it!" *Exact meaning depends on how exasperated she is when she says it. By the way, it's as big a trap as any question about fashion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 I honestly answered my wife when she asked me if a pair of slacks made her butt look big once...once. It's because of her I learned "diplomacy". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smuteye John SASS#24774 Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 I honestly answered my wife when she asked me if a pair of slacks made her butt look big once...once. It's because of her I learned "diplomacy". You answered honestly? On purpose? And you were sober when she asked you? Bless your heart. NEVER ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT FASHION. EVER. Everything looks wonderful on her. She wears everything so well. She is the most beautiful woman in the universe, nothing else can compare. Are we done yet? Can we go now? That is my stock answer. Hard to get into trouble calling a woman beautiful. After a while, they think that I either have no taste, don't care, or I'm just not going to change my story and give up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 last time that fella I live wit called me beautiful it cost us over $1500 in new glasses.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 You answered honestly? On purpose? And you were sober when she asked you? Bless your heart. NEVER ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT FASHION. EVER. Everything looks wonderful on her. She wears everything so well. She is the most beautiful woman in the universe, nothing else can compare. Are we done yet? Can we go now? That is my stock answer. Hard to get into trouble calling a woman beautiful. After a while, they think that I either have no taste, don't care, or I'm just not going to change my story and give up. Yes, yes and yes... Now if she asks me I smile and say "looks great, Honey"...there must be something about my eyes though...she knows when I am fibbing Gotta work on that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 last time that fella I live wit called me beautiful it cost us over $1500 in new glasses.... Why, Ms Mary, I'm sure you still look smashing even when you're wearing those glasses...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 tha glasses wuz fer him....he obviously needed em real bad!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buffalo Douglas Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 You answered honestly? On purpose? And you were sober when she asked you? Bless your heart. NEVER ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT FASHION. EVER. Everything looks wonderful on her. She wears everything so well. She is the most beautiful woman in the universe, nothing else can compare. Are we done yet? Can we go now? That is my stock answer. Hard to get into trouble calling a woman beautiful. After a while, they think that I either have no taste, don't care, or I'm just not going to change my story and give up. Made me think of something I was told once. I ran into a company man from one of our customers and he looked at my wife then said to me "You did pretty good for yourself." Then he looked back at my wife and said "Now you, you could've done better." I have found that I like the bed better than the couch. She always looks great and I sure try to not be a smart-Alec as much as I possibly can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smuteye John SASS#24774 Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 Yes, yes and yes... Now if she asks me I smile and say "looks great, Honey"...there must be something about my eyes though...she knows when I am fibbing Gotta work on that... That's your mistake, don't even bother looking up when you deliver the line. If you look up, she might mistake it for being a real opinion. I don't care if she's wearing a burlap sack or a princess gown, the line is the same and delivered in the same no eye contact, bored, deadpan manner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Duncan Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 Do these pants make my butt look big? Dear. No clothing could do justice to your figure. Honey. Who's the best cook? Me or your mother? You both must have had the same teacher. Honey do you love me? I told you 42 years ago when we got engage that I love you. If it ever changes I'll tell you. Well I got 2 out of 3 right. Doctor said I should be released by the end of the week.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 One of the best lines I've ever heard was from Congressman Dick Armey during the 'Bill Clinton - Monica Lewinsky' affair. "If I were in the President's place I would not have gotten a chance to resign. I would be laying in a pool of my own blood, hearing Mrs. Armey standing over me saying, "How do I reload this damn thing?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawnee McGrutt Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 You mean, women don't want honesty? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 it depends on whut yer bein' honest about..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dakota Rebel, SASS# 58412 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 A friend of mine said the worst four words were, "My wife found out". He never was very smart. Now he is not very smart with about half of his stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tater Peale Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 I know a project my wife has in mind is either A. Gonna be real expensive or B. Gonna cost me some blood, sweat, and swearing, when she says Oh its a piece of cake. As in let's remodel the kitchen it will be a piece of cake. Course I'm a not so handy handyman, last time I worked on the toilet cost 200 for the plumber to fix my fixing the toilet work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Tater, mine (now the former Missus Hardpan) once said she wanted a rose garden with a brick patio surrounding a smaller herb garden. This thing took months of weekends of back-breaking work... excavated about eight yards of soil by hand, trenched for plumbing and electricity, shoveled in all the sand to bed the 4,000 bricks, mixed concrete and poured a slab for the fountain in the herb garden..... And she said it took me too long; she'd expected it to be done in two weekends. Sheesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tater Peale Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Hope you got to keep it when she became a former wife! Mine's kinda learned it's cheaper to hire someone. When I redid the kitchen after my 4th trip to get more texture for the walls the guy asked me just how big a house I was texturing. Said just a kitchen he asked how I was mixing it. I said your supposed to mix it with water? Who knew! It turned out ok thick enough to stop most .38 spl rounds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawnee McGrutt Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Hardpan, if you ever want a job as a landscaper, let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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