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Alpoisms....


Dorado

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Why are Peeping Toms called "Peeping Toms"? Who was Tom? He must have been lonely to get famous for peeping.

 

Along the same lines Lazy Susans. Just how lazy was Susan if she got something named after her?

 

Jack was nimble. Jack was quick. Jack jumped over the candle stick.

Why didn't he just pick it up? Or if he had to go over it why didn't he just step over it?

 

Why are watches called watches? Why aren't they called pocket clocks or wrist clocks?

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Why do we say ATM Machine or PIN Number? That's Automated Teller Machine Machine and Personal Identification Number Number

That I can understand. Its an anachronism. But Peeping Tom? Tom must have really liked looking in windows.

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Actually, Tom was looking out.

 

Lady Godiva rode naked through the streets of Coventry, to protest a tax. Her husband, the Lord of Coventry, passed the word that no one should look at her.

 

The townsfolk obeyed. All except Tom the tailor, who just HAD TO peep.

 

Depending on which version of the story you listen to, as punishment for peeping, God struck him blind, or the townspeople blinded him, or Godiva's husband had him killed.

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Why call an unknown dead woman Jane Doe?


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Because if you call her JOHN Doe it causes gender issues.

 

I'm a guessen now-a-days ya ask em first ifen theys want ta go by Jane or John Doe. Ya's can't tell by which bathroom they head fer. :lol:

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How did Peter Piper pick a peck of Pickled Peppers?

 

 

Never seen a pepper plant that produced pickled peppers.

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If a man couldn't raise chickens but wanted eggs, and planted eggplant, would he be disappointed if he tried frying the fruit for breakfast?

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If you only drink tea on your coffee table is it then a "tea table"?

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If identical twin girls were born to different parents, are they still sisters?

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American who's grandparents were born in Africa and are white. (30% African's are white) Is he still an African-American? <_<

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Read about a gentleman. Born in Afrca to American parents. Lived there until he was 12 or so.

 

In college he applied for a scholarship to help "financially disadvantaged African American students".

 

Had it in the bag, with his grades and everything, until he went for the interview.

 

Black woman got all upset. "You're not African American, you're WHITE!! I'm African American."

 

He says, "Really? What part of Africa are you from?"

 

His complaint was that this woman not only was not FROM Africa, she had never been TO Africa, and neither had any of her ancesters back three generations. How could she claim SHE was "African", while he, who was born there and lived 2/3 of his life there, wasn't?

 

Never did hear the end of it though - whether or not he got his scholarship.

 

Kinda doubt it.

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If identical twin girls were born to different parents, are they still sisters?

 

True story: when my fraternal twin grandkids were born 17 years ago, I'd tell people, "our daughter just had twins, a boy and a girl!" Two people asked: "are they identical". They weren't kidding.....

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Read about a gentleman. Born in Afrca to American parents. Lived there until he was 12 or so.

 

In college he applied for a scholarship to help "financially disadvantaged African American students".

 

Had it in the bag, with his grades and everything, until he went for the interview.

 

Black woman got all upset. "You're not African American, you're WHITE!! I'm African American."

 

He says, "Really? What part of Africa are you from?"

 

His complaint was that this woman not only was not FROM Africa, she had never been TO Africa, and neither had any of her ancesters back three generations. How could she claim SHE was "African", while he, who was born there and lived 2/3 of his life there, wasn't?

 

Never did hear the end of it though - whether or not he got his scholarship.

 

Kinda doubt it.

 

Why I check African-American. At times get some looks, then I tell them why, they scratch their heads & say, your right.

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a few years ago I heard about a press conference where a bunch of American and Canadian sports reporters were interviewing an NHL player who happened to be black....the Americans kept referring to him as African American.....until he finally had had enough and told em all that he wasn't African OR American....he was Canadian and damn proud of it....tha American reporters didn't have any idea how to react, the Canadian ones were rolling on the floor laffin' their heineys off.....

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Is it still a "glove compartment" if there's no gloves in it???

 

 

BTW, I don't know anyone who keeps gloves in their "glove compartment" do you??? :P

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Is it still a "glove compartment" if there's no gloves in it???

 

 

BTW, I don't know anyone who keeps gloves in their "glove compartment" do you??? :P

I keep gloves in my glove compartment. Along with a flashlight, zipties, replacement bulbs, screwdriver, and the other usual stuff.

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Is it still a "glove compartment" if there's no gloves in it???

 

 

BTW, I don't know anyone who keeps gloves in their "glove compartment" do you??? :P

I do. But I never use them. They're just there cause it's a glove compartment. If it was called a gold brick compartment, I'd have to buy a gold brick to keep there.

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