Curley Fryes Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? When it rains, why don't sheep shrink? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown? If the "black box" of an airplane is indestructible, why don't they make the entire plane out of it? If a deaf person goes to court, do they call it a hearing? Why do we say we slept like a baby when they wake up every two hours? Who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box? When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why do you drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BONEYARD BILL, SASS #39,030 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Why do we say "write it down" but "type it up"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin Gun For Hire Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Hmmmm, All good questions that George Carlin would have built a monologue out of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Scatterbrain Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? It has always puzzled me that a road that just goes in a big circle around a city is called an interstate highway. But, it's the government. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Kris Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Federal Funding!!! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Nelson Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 If you get divorced in Appalachia, is your ex-wife still legally your sister? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Will SASS ever approve a Baptist Category? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorado Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Can God create a stone that he cannot pick up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noz Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Hmmmm, All good questions that George Carlin would have built a monologue out of. He did! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheyenne Culpepper 32827 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Will SASS ever approve a Baptist Category? and if they do, how soon would it split into how many different categories....?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box? Easy answer! So it is easier to get out. Don't you always reach in from a corner for the first piece? When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? Bubblewrap. Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? In case of turbulence? Along the same lines as the pizza box, sort of: Why are manholes, and manhole covers, round? And of course: What is the average air speed of an unladen swallow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Nelson Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Along the same lines as the pizza box, sort of: Why are manholes, and manhole covers, round? Manhole covers are round so they can't fall though the manhole. Any other shape, you can stand the cover on edge and turn it until it'll fit through the hole. And of course: What is the average air speed of an unladen swallow? What do you mean? An African or European swallow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Manhole covers are round so they can't fall though the manhole. Any other shape, you can stand the cover on edge and turn it until it'll fit through the hole. We have a winner! What do you mean? An African or European swallow? Uh... I don't know that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Gallager used to have a great routine with that stuff, right before he brought out the sledge-o-matic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Why do men have nipples? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Will SASS ever approve a Baptist Category? Doubtful, but we could probably round up enough for a Fire and Brimstone posse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 A manhole cover in the shape of an equilateral triangle will work the same as a round one! I know!! A little abstract, but true nonetheless!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diamond S Doug Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Along the same lines as the pizza box, sort of: Why are manholes, and manhole covers, round? Because if the manholes were square and the manhole covers were round they wouldn't fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustin Checotah Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Working for the Postal Service I have seen large bags of styrofoam peanuts shipped. I thought it was kind of funny but it was done. Dustin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Mushman Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 A manhole cover in the shape of an equilateral triangle will work the same as a round one! I know!! A little abstract, but true nonetheless!! You are absolutely correct! These are the only two easily manufactured shapes that fill the bill regarding both flush fit and not falling thru the opening.. The round shape has saftey and production ease advantages, You must be an engineer or tecnician, or someone with uncommon, common sense ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Scatterbrain Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 You must be an engineer or technician, or someone with uncommon, common sense ! Meh, it is widely known that triangles and pyramids have magical powers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Rose, SASS #45478 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 If olive oil is made from olives, peanut oil is made from peanuts and vegetable oil is made from vegetable, then what is baby oil made from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curley Fryes Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 If olive oil is made from olives, peanut oil is made from peanuts and vegetable oil is made from vegetable, then what is baby oil made from. Ahhh...then what is motor and neatsfoot oil made from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Harley, #14153 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 A manhole cover in the shape of an equilateral triangle will work the same as a round one! I know!! A little abstract, but true nonetheless!! As long as we're discussing trivial abstract nonsense, I figured out a way to drop a triangular manhole cover through its hole. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equilateral_triangle Picture the equilateral cover and the second diagram in the attached link. Visualize the line from top corner to the midpoint of the bottom side. The diagram labels this line hc. Now visualize the distance from the top corner to the left corner. In the diagram, this would be line C-A. hc is substantially shorter than C-A, and if you stood the manhole cover on its edge with hc in a horizontal direction and its widest point, it would neatly slide through the hole if it were rested on the side of the hole along line C-A. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 If the plural of Mouse is Mice; What is the plural of Spouse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey Burns Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 If the plural of Mouse is Mice; What is the plural of Spouse? Headache Along those lines, in one of the Chinese dialects the word for trouble is written/drawn to imply two women under one roof. Sure, its a bit sexist and for that I apologize to the ladies, But you've got to admit, it IS funny, More questions: Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Is there another word for synonym? If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Branchwater Jack SASS #88854 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Why do we call the liquid we put in our cars gas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Scatterbrain Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Why is my semi-automatic AR15 called an assault rifle, but the DHS' selective-fire rifles are called personal defense weapons? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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