Blackwater 53393 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I just received a bill for a headstone and a dozen hummingbird feeders. There was an extra charge for the inscription on rthe stone! "Here lies the carcass of Birdgun Quail, He weren't even as smart as a snail! He threatened my hummingbirds, And wouldn't refrain. Now they'll feed at his graveside, Again and again!! I'd say that Schoolmarm is planning something rash!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted June 18, 2013 Author Share Posted June 18, 2013 Just pay the bill and be happy that your name is not on the stone. I was thinking of getting a feeder for my Girl Friend, My Great Granddaughter. Do you think 1 year old is too young? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 BD Ya THINK , we should use the pit fer a BBQ first such a WASTE of hard wor* , not to make GOOD use of it CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Just pay the bill and be happy that your name is not on the stone. I was thinking of getting a feeder for my Girl Friend, My Great Granddaughter. Do you think 1 year old is too young? Nope!! The Bopper would watch 'em and giggle and laugh for hours when he was that little. He still watches their antics when he's over here!! BD Ya THINK , we should use the pit fer a BBQ first such a WASTE of hard wor* , not to make GOOD use of it CB I don't know!! You start a fire in that pit 'n' Schoolmarm's likely to shove ol' Tweety in there while he's still kickin'!! She does like fresh BBQ though!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 BBQ? I'd be a bit stringy and gristled. Well aged though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bama Red Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Blackwater! Yer inbox ain't taking any PM's. Send me yer mailing address. I got sumpin' to send ya. No, it don't eat, crap or require any attention of any kind and it will earn ya points with Schoolmarm! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Blackwater! Yer inbox ain't taking any PM's. Send me yer mailing address. I got sumpin' to send ya. No, it don't eat, crap or require any attention of any kind and it will earn ya points with Schoolmarm! Bama! Sent ya a PM!! I cleanerd out the mailbox too!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 I think I will introduce them buzz bombs to my other friend, my pet rock, Clive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Just don't be heavin' ol' Clive at 'em!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 Clive would not like that either. Clive is very sensitive. He abhors violence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 I think those little rascals are actually getting fat on that nectar. I am thinking of putting a sign on the bottle that reads: REGULAR NECTAR $3.69 9 SUPER CHARGED NECTAR $3.99 9 Maybe I can sell it like gas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 DRUNK KILLER HUMMING BIRDS CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 More like Kamikaze hummingbirds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 With that turbocharged helicopter capability, you'll think they're gonna' punch right through ya'!! Badger! The only problem with tryin' ta' charge for the nectar is hummingbirds don't have pockets!! No pockets, no cash! And credit cards don't fold good enough for their billfolds anyways!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 WELL, THE GOOD SIDE IS THAT IF WE HAVE A TANKER SPILL, ALL WE ARE GOING TO GET IS A BUNCH OF HAPPY HUMMERS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Sugar coated bugs 'n' spiders!! That orta' put grins on their little beaks!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 DERANGED HUMMERS must be all that processed SUGAR CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 DERANGED HUMMERS must be all that processed SUGAR CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noz Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 BD Ya THINK , we should use the pit fer a BBQ first such a WASTE of hard wor* , not to make GOOD use of it CB What a great idea. Dig the hole, roast a pig and then have a funeral. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Share Posted June 20, 2013 BEACHDAY AT THE HUMMINGBIRD FEEDER! It is pouring down rain out there. Three of them show up, two with speedos and one with an umbrella. The one with the umbrella had British markings on his fuselage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 BMC did he have a cleared flight plan ? CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Share Posted June 20, 2013 No, but he had six .303 machine guns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I'm curious if I can kill this thread as effectively as I managed with my last posting so to that end Gopher Wood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 J. Mark, you building an ark? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Bama! I was informed a few years ago that they are now "servers"! You call some of them waiters or waitresses and you might not like what they do to your food!! It's like you don't call flight attendants "stewardesses" any more!! And those folks really get peeved when you do!! And another tip is, "Stay outta' the stock market!" Then they can by God call me "Sir" or Mister Taylor", not "you guys", "hon", 'folks", or anything else. They'll get a nickel tip, if they do. No tip at all might be an oversight, but a nickel is a comment on the service and attitude of the waiter or waitress. I make allowances for friendly, courteous, and efficient servers.....and those who have become friends.....who don't particularly care what I call them as long as it isn't profane or antagonistic. For future reference, a server is a piece of computer equipment.....and I don't speak politely to my computer, EVER!!! If I'm talking to my computer it's usually because the dumb SOB has caused me grief in some way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Maybe-just can't find much gopher wood. I guess that is because female gophers aren't very attractive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 J Mark, either that or the male gophers can't find any viagra plants... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Okay, J. Mark!! "RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! What's a cubit??" Identify the speaker!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 cubit = the distance between your finger tip and elbow CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bama Red Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Blackwater, just in case J. Mark misses it, the speaker was Bill Cosby, speaking as Noah, while building the Ark and getting just a little confused over who's talking to him and the dimensions for the Ark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 What's that stinky mess at the bottom of the Ark? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Blackwater, just in case J. Mark misses it, the speaker was Bill Cosby, speaking as Noah, while building the Ark and getting just a little confused over who's talking to him and the dimensions for the Ark. DINGDINGDINGDING!! PERHAPS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST COMEDY ROUTINES EVER DONE!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Blackwater, just in case J. Mark misses it, the speaker was Bill Cosby, speaking as Noah, while building the Ark and getting just a little confused over who's talking to him and the dimensions for the Ark. Noah WAS insightful at least! The Lord said, "I'll make it rain for a hundred days and a hundred nights." Noah replied, "Nah! Just let it rain for forty days and forty nights and the sewers'll back up!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 GOT LIME ? CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noz Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Mister Noah he build him an ark. A hundert feet both long and wide. Then he opened up the do' and bid the animals come inside. In they come, come two by two, the fat ones and the slim, But Miz Noah just sigh and say, Wipe yo feets as yo come in. . . . . . . . . Last lines: Mr Noah bid them all farewell like one of Royal Blood. Mz Noah wring out her mop and start cleaning up the mud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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