fellow needing groceries came to me

[Trigger Mike]

I load one arm with several bags and keep my right hand free to get to my car and a fellow came up to me and said he had two boys and needed groceries. He said he knew I just bought what was in my hand and had no story but his car was broke down and he could not make it to the local food bank. He kept repeating how he had two boys. Now I have 4 children, and we go through a gallon of milk in a day or so. SInce I had bought 2 more gallons, I offered him the bag with one gallon of milk (mayfield mind you not the store brand). He said he did not have a car so he had no way to carry it. I pulled out a can of beans and soup since they could fit in his jacket pocket, he said he could not carry them and I said you could put them in your pocket. He repeated how he had two boys and finally said never mind and as he walked away repeated how he had two boys so I finally said, I have 4. I don't see how he planned on getting groceries if he turned down the groceries I offered claiming he could not carry them. He pulled the, "I was a Marine" bit as well. maybe a marine watcher.

[Calico Mary]

I guarantee you that if that guy had hungry kids at home, there is NO WAY he would have turned down the groceries, no matter how far he had to carry them!

[Dorado]

I've heard that one before. I had a couple come up to me asking for money for food. I told them I wouldn't give them money but I'd buy them a meal. They rudely declined and demanded the money instead. I told them to go to #$!! and walked off. What these people want is money for drugs and alcohol. I've never had one take me up on my offer for a free meal.

[The Shoer 27979]

About 20 years ago my wife and I had the same type thing happen, but it was before we went into the store, so we bought the guy some food. when we came back out side and handed him the food we got the same kind of response. Ever since then the wife and I will not give to anybody or any thing that is panhandleing

[Utah Bob #35998]

Pepper spray!

[Doc Shapiro]

Considering the "safety net" that our tax dollars pay for, I won't give any more money to people like that. I may donate to the local shelter, but I won't give to individuals for them to buy booze and drugs.

[Charlie Harley, #14153]

Sometimes I'll offer to buy a person a meal or gallon of gas if that's what they ask for and something stirs me to do so. Every once in a while they'll graciously accept the meal. No cash ever changes hands.

[Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L]

My wife, daughter and I went to a McDonalds in downtown Chicago. A man was holding a sign that said 'hungry'...it was a lesson to teach my daughter that we generally give supplies, not money to people in need. After our lunch I bought a hamburger and fries to give to the poor fella. On our way out I had our daughter hand it to him....as we walked away I looked back .....and he put it in the trash can next to him.

 

Oh well...

 

GG ~

[Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172]

Pretty much my experience. Some one once wrote an article for the local fish wrapper telling about some guy they caught driving up to a residential neighborhood in his luxury car, parking and walking to the business district. He had on old and dirty clothes and was a pan handler. They got his license number and did a search and found out the guy lived in a very nice home, in a nice neighborhood. I do not know how they learned this, but apparently his take was several hundred dollars a day.

 

Like others have said, there is a tax dollar safety net for those that have a real need. I really don't have much time or concern for those that will not help themselves and depend on the guilt they can put on hard working folks.

 

If one is to believe the movies the FLIM FLAM MAN has been with us a very long time, however.

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

Unfortunately, it's one of the oldest panhandling scams there is. Another variation is to ask for gas money to take a sick family member to the clinic or hospital, or they're from out of town and ran out of gas on their way to visit the sick family member. Used to live in New York City and heard many more tales of woe and the need for my money. See it in my area now as well.

 

Sadly, these people are alcoholics, drug addicts, mentally ill and this is the only life they know how to live. If you can, let the police know someone is working the area. Sometimes these folks are dangerous, often not. If they are dangerous, they'll be in custody. If not, they might get a ride to a shelter.

[Noz]

We have a couple that are working the entrance to the local Walmart. She woks the parking lot one day and he works the intersection to the street. Tomorrow they switch places. Both are 50# or so overweight.

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

We have a couple that are working the entrance to the local Walmart. She woks the parking lot one day and he works the intersection to the street. Tomorrow they switch places. Both are 50# or so overweight.

I'm surprised the Walmart folks haven't shooed them away.

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

Like others have said, there is a tax dollar safety net for those that have a real need. I really don't have much time or concern for those that will not help themselves and depend on the guilt they can put on hard working folks.

 

If one is to believe the movies the FLIM FLAM MAN has been with us a very long time, however.

 

After our unemployment benefits ran out we still couldn't qualify for assistance, Badger. The only asset we had was a 10 year old Toyota Tundra. Needed it to get around and get to (the very few) job interviews. Because it blue-booked over $500 we didn't qualify. No job, sold off guns and wedding rings. Required to be actively job seeking (as in getting out to places, getting names and numbers) in a county where taking public transit to a doctors visit meant 5 to 6 hours on a bus, and everything was all spread out. And didn't qualify because we had dependable transportation. Yeah, we could have sold it and bought a junker. And then spent lots of money each month being nickle and dimed to death by repair costs.

 

We did qualify for food stamps and county medical coverage though, that was a blessing.

[Blackwater 53393]

I had stopped to fill up with fuel and a panhandler walked up to me as I put my card in the reader.

 

He said, "Mister, I ain't gonna lie to you. I don't want a sandwich. I don't need a cup of coffee. I ain't tryin' to get straightened out. I want a drink! I need two more dollars to by me a bottle and I'm goin' back to my place under the bridge over there and get drunk. Will you help me out?"

 

I gave him what change I had in my pocket, which amounted to more than two dollars, and he thanked me and left. I told the security guard at the place that he was camping under the bridge and what he looked like. The officer said he'd been there for a month or more and hadn't caused any trouble. They'd tried to get him into a shelter, but he had refused and returned to the bridge.

 

Some folks don't want any help, but few are honest about it.

[Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619]

The "out of gas and stranded" has been very popular around here the last few years.

[Cypress Sun]

For years they have been at the medians of major intersections and the off ramps of Interstates. When there was work, I did a lot of driving around Pinellas County. here is a sampling of my experiences with these "needy people".

 

- Man about 25 to 30 with as sign "Vietnam Vet, need help". I asked him where he was stationed in Vietnam. He looked to the side for a second and replied "Hanoi". Donation given $0......verbal tirade given a $hitload.

 

- Man with a sign "Ain't going to lie, need beer". Donation given $1.00.

 

- Man with a sign "Hungry, need Help". It was before lunch and I hadn't eaten my sandwich yet. I gave him my sandwich, he said "what kind of sandwich is it"? Ham and Swiss with mustard I replied. His response "I don't like mustard". Donation given $0.

 

- Woman (about 30/hard to tell) with a sign "Homeless, please help, God bless". Didn't even roll down the window. This woman looked worse than any picture I have ever seen of the Nazi death camp survivours. She couldn't have weighed 70lb's. Donation given $0.

 

- At one off ramp, there are 3 to 4 that take turns begging. They have a nice oak tree that they sit under with a large cooler. Don't know what is in the cooler, but I bet it's not iced tea. Donation given $0.

 

- Around here, they have taken to the exits of Target, Walmart, Home Depot and the like.....I guess all of the good off ramps and intersections are taken.

 

 

 

Subdeacon Joe,

Obviously the system failed you and your wife when you really needed the assistance. It is most unfortunate that folks like you get denied help while others take advantage of the system. I've been in grocery stores and watched people purchase steak, lobster and other high dollar food items with food stamps (EBT card). Pisses me off every time. I know of people who recieve government funds for food/assistance that live in nice $250K houses and drive $60K cars. How they recieve this assistance, which you didn't, is because you are honest.......they aren't.

 

CS

[EE Taft]

When Mama and I had our boys I told her we would make our way on our own. Dad told her and I to get help......he said "You work.....I've worked and paid in to the system for 30 years......Get help!" .......I guess my pride stopped me from it.

 

 

It's hard for me to admit here considering some feelings about these issues as well as my own feelings.....I've seen some around here get assistance from the state........and I can tell you their ways......

 

Woman gets with a man that works.....they don't get married but start cranking out kids. He works and is paid well, she don't.....she files for assistance and gets it even though there is someone in the house that make good money, because they are not married.

 

 

Mama and I have been married 14 years this March. We have the boys and our baby girl. I worked hard for 14 years at the Dealership.....never got help. Now that it burned, Mama got a job at a local sit down resturaunt as a shift manager......my pride and heart hurts everyday when I hear "We can't hire right now."......it hurts every night when I see Mama come home tired.......it hurts knowing that we don't qualify for health coverage from the state..........and it hurts when our food stamps (of $230 dollars) runs out two weeks into the month.

 

 

I'm sure this changes a lot of views of me, but with this discussion I felt inclined to put my thoughts in.

 

 

I hope I don't lose any friends here due to the fact that I am part of the problem in this country.......but I won't lie.....we need help and get just a bit......a small bit. Our home ain't much, but we're proud to have it.

 

Last year, I had that nice Victorian home in down town Hannibal. We almost bought it.......then things turned around. Now we are trying hard to make our doublewide nice enough to live, and trying to get our little business going.......on a wing and a prayer.

 

I say all this because, Like Subdeacon Joe, we all know there are those that need help from time to time. I am of the same opinion as the rest of you.......if someone really needs help......take what you're offered.....ask......but these folks seeking booze and drugs, or using the system to profit..........it makes me mad, it sickens me, and it makes my pride sink even more knowing I've asked for help.....as to the untrained eye......I look just like them.

 

regards to my friends here.

~EE Taft~

[Subdeacon Joe]

I had stopped to fill up with fuel and a panhandler walked up to me as I put my card in the reader.

 

He said, "Mister, I ain't gonna lie to you. I don't want a sandwich. I don't need a cup of coffee. I ain't tryin' to get straightened out. I want a drink! I need two more dollars to by me a bottle and I'm goin' back to my place under the bridge over there and get drunk. Will you help me out?"

 

I gave him what change I had in my pocket, which amounted to more than two dollars, and he thanked me and left. I told the security guard at the place that he was camping under the bridge and what he looked like. The officer said he'd been there for a month or more and hadn't caused any trouble. They'd tried to get him into a shelter, but he had refused and returned to the bridge.

 

Some folks don't want any help, but few are honest about it.

 

I've had a few come up to me and say "I'm not gonna lie to you, I want a beer. Got a buck or two to spare?" Back when I was somewhat flush I'd give 'em a few bucks, tell 'em to splurge on a Guinness or something good.

 

 

 

Subdeacon Joe,

Obviously the system failed you and your wife when you really needed the assistance. It is most unfortunate that folks like you get denied help while others take advantage of the system. I've been in grocery stores and watched people purchase steak, lobster and other high dollar food items with food stamps (EBT card). Pisses me off every time. I know of people who recieve government funds for food/assistance that live in nice $250K houses and drive $60K cars. How they recieve this assistance, which you didn't, is because you are honest.......they aren't.

 

CS

 

That did gripe me some at the social services office - see people get out of SUVs not but a year or two old, have iphones, ipods, ipads, and still getting welfare (not disability). And I don't begrudge people an occasional splurge on foodstamps - if you eat cornmeal, lentil, rice, beans, and hocks most of the month you can stretch it for a birthday or anniversary. But the two of us were able to eat fairly well - as in balanced and nutritious, not expensive cuts, on food stamps. Helps that we both know how to cook play with flavors. Also helps that we both prefer the cheaper cuts like chuck, pork shoulder, and such. They have a lot more flavor of their own than the expensive cuts.

 

I've got a job now at $10/hour, still get some on food stamps (I think we're at 80% of the poverty level - something like that, but we got food, a place to live, and a parish family that prays for us - doin' pretty good), but the best place to buy meat, Cash & Carry which is a restaurant supply outfit, doesn't take the EBT card. So I use cash there for meat, some produce, bulk sized spices and such, then use the EBT for other basics during the month (eggs, milk, bread) and a few frills. Oh...and if you are near a Cash and Carry, check out this special - https://www.smartfoodservice.com/content/hotsheet/42/287/ Danged good price!

 

Other thing that I can see why it is the way it is, but still gripes me, I can buy a raw chicken for 5 or 6 bucks on EBT. But I can't buy the whole cooked chicken from the deli for 3 bucks (sometimes 2) at the end of the day because it is "ready to eat." Or I can buy packaged lunch meat at about 3 bucks a pound, but can't take advantage of a deli special at $1.99/lb. Also weird, in Lake Co. CA, some things at some fast food places COULD be bought on food stamps. Never tried that myself, and here in Sonoma Co. none do it. I think because Lake Co. is SO sparse on things exceptions were made.

[Cypress Sun]

When Mama and I had our boys I told her we would make our way on our own. Dad told her and I to get help......he said "You work.....I've worked and paid in to the system for 30 years......Get help!" .......I guess my pride stopped me from it.

 

 

It's hard for me to admit here considering some feelings about these issues as well as my own feelings.....I've seen some around here get assistance from the state........and I can tell you their ways......

 

Woman gets with a man that works.....they don't get married but start cranking out kids. He works and is paid well, she don't.....she files for assistance and gets it even though there is someone in the house that make good money, because they are not married.

 

 

Mama and I have been married 14 years this March. We have the boys and our baby girl. I worked hard for 14 years at the Dealership.....never got help. Now that it burned, Mama got a job at a local sit down resturaunt as a shift manager......my pride and heart hurts everyday when I hear "We can't hire right now."......it hurts every night when I see Mama come home tired.......it hurts knowing that we don't qualify for health coverage from the state..........and it hurts when our food stamps (of $230 dollars) two weeks into the month.

 

 

I'm sure this changes a lot of views of me, but with this discussion I felt inclined to put my thoughts in.

 

 

I hope I don't lose any friends here due to the fact that I am part of the problem in this country.......but I won't lie.....we need help and get just a bit......a small bit. Our home ain't much, but we're proud to have it.

 

Last year, I had that nice Victorian home in down town Hannibal. We almost bought it.......then things turned around. Now we are trying hard to make our doublewide nice enough to live, and trying to get our little business going.......on a wing and a prayer.

 

I say all this because, Like Subdeacon Joe, we all know there are those that need help from time to time. I am of the same opinion as the rest of you.......if someone really needs help......take what you're offered.....ask......but these folks seeking booze and drugs, or using the system to profit..........it makes me mad, it sickens me, and it make my pride sink even more knowing I've asked for help.....as to the untrained eye......I look just like them.

 

regards to my friends here.

~EE Taft~

 

Folks like you and Joe ARE NOT part of the problem in this country. You, Joe, your families and many others are part of a country with a problem. A BIG problem. THe problem wasn't created by people such as yourselves. You, I and countless others have to live in this mess of an economy and try to make ends meet. It ain't always easy.

 

I applaud you and Joe for taking the steps to provide for your families in your times of need. I know it may seem like "swallowing your pride", it's really not. It takes a helleva lot to ensure your loved ones recieve proper food and lodging than pride.

 

You can say that you "look just like them", but pard........you're just another one of us.

 

Sun

[Sheriff Oso, SASS #57788L]

Long ago in a galaxy far far away I lived and worked in San Antonio. I had stopped for gas at a convenience store and a guy came up to me saying he was hungry and asked if I could help him out. I said sure. Wait here and I will be right back. I went in, bought him a pre-made sandwich, a bag of chips and a can of cold Pearl beer (I told it was a long time ago). He accepted all of it greatfully. I am sure the beer helped, but I saw him open that sandwich wrapper and when it came away from his mouth it looked like a horse had stepped on it. He finished it in 3-4 bites, ripped open the chips, ate half of them, then popped the beer. To me that was the right thing for ME to do AND the right thing for HIM to do. Food first-beer later.

 

Never had another one ask for anything that got anything from me.

 

 

FWIW..YMMV..SOso

[Good Hands SASS #8247]

"When I was hungry, you fed me, when I was thirsty you gave me something to drink...". "When you did this for the least among you, you did this for me..."

[T. H. O' Sullivan]

A few years ago, had a doctor friend of the family take his wife and two daughters to Old Town Albuquerque, New Mexico for a meal at a Mexican Restaurant there. While they were parking their Cadillac Escalade a homeless guy came up and was asking for a handout. They ignored him and walked away from the parking lot. Once they were in the restaurant someone heard what sounded like firecrackers, then sirens. It seems while they were in the restaurant, the same homeless guy had pulled a pistol and proceeded to pump 15+ rounds into the Caddy. Not only are these homeless types druggies, drunks and mental cases, they might me armed.

 

T.H. O'Sullivan

Black Mesa Ranch

New Mexico

[Subdeacon Joe]

"When I was hungry, you fed me, when I was thirsty you gave me something to drink...". "When you did this for the least among you, you did this for me..."[/b][/u]

 

Amen.

 

When I state my circumstances here, I'm not looking for sympathy (or not much, ) just trying to show how things can turn around. In my day I've bought food for others, and given cash that I was pretty sure would go to beer or cigarettes. But I had a bit extra and gave what I could. Time passed and it was my turn. Not proud of it, but not ashamed either. My wife and I grew closer because of it, I think.

 

I've offered people with the "will work for food" light work for a load of groceries - light work as in mowing the lawn, raking it up, and putting the trimming in the yard waste bin. Been turned down every time. Also offered to buy food for people, got turned down on the offer.

 

For food drives I've brought in sacks with flour, sugar, shortening, cocoa powder (not mix, but the stuff for baking), yeast, baking powder, salt, some tinned meat of some sort, oat meal, rice. Already made up, just hand out the sacks. Been told several times that they can't use stuff like that because too many people have no idea what to do with it. They wanted canned stuff that you can just dump into a pot, or mixes and boxed mac & cheese or hamburger helper.

[EE Taft]

I still, even while being short, try to help anyone that I see that really is in need. I've gave out money to a person with their hand out. I've wondered where the money was really gonna go......I never feel a sense of acomplishment or get the big head from doing so.

 

........Ya know. we have all had those jobs where the boss is an ass and made us wonder what kind of thin ice we were on. Last year I got shown how thin the ice is under all of us......A boss and co workers that were like family......they'd give me the shirt off their back and I would them....I thought I had it made, at least until something better came along..sure the money wasn't great, but they made up for it with willingness to be there for us when we needed it, giving me over time and bonuses when I deserved them and needed them......they are all good folks.

 

I literally thought my boss man was going to have a heart attack watching his place burn.......Heck, I thought I would! I had years invested......I knew every squeek in the floor of that place......

 

Even when we think things are going good....that life will get better even in bad times....life can throw you a curve.

 

I've waited now for a year for God to open that window or door for me..........AND ONE DAY HE WILL!

 

 

For the past year I've felt broken pride sitting on my chest.....But worse......I've not told too many people what I just told y'all on a public forum.........I've felt shame. I......We all ......are workin' folks.

 

I've come home from a day at work covered to my ass in grease and dirt and felt good......my kids took pride in their hard workin' daddy......just as I did my dad......now, they have something different to look at......a dad that sometimes breaks down in tears in the middle of a store when they ask for something small and cheap.......It's not shame for what I've had to ask for......it's shame that I can't provide.......Y'all know there are many of us that have felt that feeling. I use to feel terrible when I'd see someone else go through it........now it's my turn.

 

But I will never hold my hand out right at my fellow man.......sure (against my pride and shame) I'll draw a very little bit of what I paid in over the years to help. To see someone hold their hand out and then refuse what you offer because it's not what they want......they want booze and drugs........they should be ashamed.......and they are! That's why they can't tell you what they want it for.

 

Given the situation we are in, my kids and wife are in a loving home.....we love each other.....we have enough that we only need to tighten our belts a bit.........I thank God for that everyday. If it were much worse we'd still love each other....and we could get much worse off than we are.

 

Y'all will never hear it said, but I will say it now.......probably be the only time y'all ever hear it.....

 

From a working man that is down but not out..........Thank you........

 

The way the plans were laid out and should be now......the ones that are down count on the ones that still work......when those that are down get back up others can count on them..........For a year we've counted on y'all.......Thank you.

 

We'll come back from this........America will come back.

 

There will always be those that have their hands out........Whether or not they are in need. It's just a matter of free will and personal judgement that we give them anything.......I try to help anyone I can......because sometimes I need help too.

 

It's all clear as mud, but I know those of us that are asked for help can judge whether or not the asking hand is deserving.

 

I have rambled a lot today. I only hope that I can still humbly receive the same respect as I have before this day.

 

Cypress Sun.......Thank you. Ya make me feel a bit better about myself. Pard.

 

 

 

~EE Taft~

[EE Taft]

Joe.......You and me both!

 

I don't want to garner sympathy..........just don't want everyone to point and laugh......or look at me in a different light due to my down time. With devine intervention, God does his best to keep us all humble.

 

T.H.

 

That's terrible! Many of the folks like this that get mad because they don't get the "help" they want are just......Hmmm, I don't have the words.

 

Hard times are hard times.....we all weather the storm differently, but together.

 

~EE Taft~

[Utah Bob #35998]

I think we can all agree that people who claim to be hungry and panhandle, but want cash other than food, are probably not that hungry.

Twice a month at the VFW, we hand out food supplied by a couple of State programs to local residents. Everybody is very thankful to get the food and nobody asks for money.

[Good Hands SASS #8247]

Never mind.

[Calico Mary]

"When I was hungry, you fed me, when I was thirsty you gave me something to drink...". "When you did this for the least among you, you did this for me..."

 

I agree with your point 100%, except....there's a right way and a wrong way to do it. The Salvation Army does good work, and just about every city of any size has food banks and organizations to help people in need. If nothing else, donations to a church can be made of whatever one can afford to give. Those who are able should help those in need, like EE and Joe and their families, but giving money to scam artists, drunks, and drug addicts on street corners does nothing to help them....

 

Joe, I know your present job isn't quite what you need, but keep the faith, with hard work and the right attitude it will get better.

 

EE, I was out of work for 16 months, been there done that, know how bad it sucks. Things WILL get better, and something will come along, just keep trying and keep your faith as well. Just keep telling yourself sooner or later you will meet the person who will benefit from hiring a GOOD man (that's you!) and things will fall into place.

 

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for both of you!

[EE Taft]

Miss Mary, I always keep the faith!

 

There are so many people that get down and ya hear so much bad in the news about someone that was just down on the luck.........

 

........That's not me......I keep pressin' on. We all get down........it's the "if" we can pick ourselves up that matter!

 

I've been down and I've picked myself up. Nothin' gets me down.......But I do feel shame sometimes and search tirelessly for the door leading back to pride. It can be found......I will find it.

 

 

Until then, I will keep on keepin' on.......life ain't all about money, jobs, and wealth.......I do get to spend more time with the kids than I normally do when I'm working.......There's an up side to everything!

 

Happy Holidays, Y'all.....Don't forget those who are really less furtunate this holiday season......but always watch for those that take advantage........As for us, we are going to have a good one. Happy kids in a house full of love......That's a good Holiday season.

 

~EE Taft~

[Good Hands SASS #8247]

I agree with your point 100%, except....there's a right way and a wrong way to do it. The Salvation Army does good work, and just about every city of any size has food banks and organizations to help people in need. If nothing else, donations to a church can be made of whatever one can afford to give. Those who are able should help those in need, like EE and Joe and their families, but giving money to scam artists, drunks, and drug addicts on street corners does nothing to help them....

 

!

 

Not my point, it came from someone much better at helping the orphans, widows, prostitues, and tax collectors of his time than I ever could be. In fact, He and his 12 disciples were the original "salvation army". I do agree that giving them a handout doesn't change their lifestyle or their circumstances, but even drunk stoned scam artists on street corners get hungry sometime.

[Calico Mary]

HIS quote, your point!

[Wolfgang, SASS #53480]

There are exceptions . . . you've reminded me of a situation in Palm Springs years ago. Came out of the grocerie store late at night . .. approached by a guy with his story that he and family were broke and stranded. In a car in the parking lot. Needed diapers for the baby. I told him to get what he needed . . . and waited for him at the checkout . . . paid for the diapers and gave him a couple of dollars more. Told him how to get to the Catholic church next morning that had a residence facility for homeless families. Hadn't thought of it in years.

 

The "safety net" doesn't work all that good for people that are really in need. I works just great for scammers that know how to work it.

[Utah Bob #35998]

There are exceptions . . .

 

 

Of course. There always are exceptions.

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

Joe, I know your present job isn't quite what you need, but keep the faith, with hard work and the right attitude it will get better.

 

 

Mary, it may not be what I WANT, but it might could be exactly what I NEED. God sometimes has a sneaky way of giving us what we need rather than what we want.

 

 

Of course. There always are exceptions.

Any exceptions to that, Bob?