Red Logan #12252 Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 Time for some funny stuff...but Hey, Some of this stuff ain't funny!!!! RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's hiney. It's the tortoise life for me! 1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat. 3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. 4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. I'm retired. Go around me. Some Senior Thoughts: God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered: 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran. 3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 6. If all is not lost, where is it? 7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. 9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few. 10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. 14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. 15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess? 16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere. 17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter 19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 20. I'M UNABLE TO REMEMBER WHETHER I'VE posted THIS BEFORE.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Help Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 LOL Ya fergot 21 No matter where ya go.....yer lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 22. If the rain keeps up it can't come down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Hawk 60642 Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 23. How dp ya know when ya get there ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Mushman Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 24. The memory is the second thing to go... don't remember what went first.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 24. The memory is the second thing to go... don't remember what went first.... Ask your wife. I'll bet she can tell you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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