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They ought to draft men over 60 years of age


Korupt Karl

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This has been around before, but worth a good laugh...and actually it makes sense....lol.

 

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.

 

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

 

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

 

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some a$$hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..

 

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical $ob.

 

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

 

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

 

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

 

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

 

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

 

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

 

Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off

old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

 

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...goin through menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

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For the most part I agree...........Maybe now that I'm gettin' older and more pissy they'd acually let me go. Couldn't when I was young as I had heart trouble.

 

oh.......and that last part.......I'm gonna duck now.

 

INCOMING!!!

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Karl, it would be a real drain on military manpower to send me back into combat. I don't mind pulling the trigger but it would take a driver to get me to the combat zone 'cause I ain't walkin' nowhere and it would take 4 others to carry my equipment 'cause I ain't totin' nothin'. :)

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Karl, I agree wif ya !

 

 

I tryed to volunteer at 9/12 but da recuiters found out I had a heart attack and other stuff. I told'em send me over der. I could fight'em like dey fight me, I aint got much to lose and I'm meaner din a rattle snake wif it's tail cut off !

 

Need dat little blue pill tp have sex, aint dat much hungery, and just plain don't give a shit !

 

 

 

 

 

And talk a bout men-till-pause, LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, just give her a butcher knife and get da hell out of her way ! lol

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Not me....! All I did after i was drafted in 63 and finished basic was play football, baseball & life guard at the post pool. I'm too damn old and suffering from all the football I played and too blind to see a fastball. Oh yeah, can't even imagine what I'd look like in a pair of Speedos :wacko:

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I am running away to Canada where the fishing is great and there is free ice for your drinks. :rolleyes:

I'm with you. I think we can get Big Sage to drive. :lol:

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I would only go back in under certain conditions... ;)

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Picture this. Badger Mountain Charlie in fatigue pants, white tee shirt, black combat boots, running around the drop zone at Gablingen Kaserne at 0600 hours. I doubt that he could get off the company street without falling out gasping for air. :rolleyes:

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Well, I'm sure Jimmy Carter will give y'all amnesty...or is that amnesia? :blush:

We don't need amesty, we got discharges. We can learn to say "Eh?" ;)

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It's settled then.

Big Sage will drive, BMC will build the cabin and I'll go buy the beer.

Oh Canada!

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OK, but we is in deep woods with that cabin thingy. :lol:

 

I suppose you guys will want a door too.

:blink:

Doesn't have to close. :lol:

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I ain't goin', Karl.

 

Did that once...or twice.

 

Had folks shootin' at me for no reason whatsoever. Hell, I didn't even know their wives, sisters, or girlfriends.

 

Got home an' had to put up with crap from draft dodgers, slackers, an' garritroopers, an' other assorted pukes. Even the folks who did appreciate us didn't understand what we did and had done, and would likely do again. Never did get paid what I was worth when I worn the uniforms. The housing stunk, the food was marginal most of the time, hours were ridiculously long, working conditions bordered on slavery, and the clothing was not fashionable. There were lots of really neat guns around, but I seldom got to play with them, and when I did there were those mean guys shootin' at me.

 

Put my life on hold for almost ten years while others were getting promoted and being the bosses of guys like me. A lot of them weren't smart enough to pee a hole in a snow bank, but they were the bosses.

 

Finally retired and don't answer to anyone except my wife, soooooooooooooo.....

 

I ain't goin', Karl.

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Probably won't and if I plan correctly, the north wind will have a straight shot to come through.

 

Who needs hinges and what are they?

 

Hinges :lol:

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I enlisted in 1979 and I ain't getting out till they drag me kicking & screaming! I'm just mad I had 3 breaks in service. I sure can't run or even see as well as I did 33 years ago, but I'm a whole lot meaner.

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No sense in spending all of that money training someone that will take a longer time to heal if they get hurt.

We don't need training.

Already got plenty. :lol:

 

 

"Jody was there when you left." ;):lol:

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