Dusty Balz, SASS#46599 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 A Golfer accidentally overturned his cart. Elizabeth, a "beautiful" real golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course heard the noise and yelled over to him. "Hey, are you okay, what's your name?" "Willis," he replied. "Willis forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest up and I'll help you get the cart up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it." "Aw come on," Elizabeth insisted. She was very pretty and persuasive. "Well okay," Willis finally agreed, And added, "but my wife won't like it." After a hearty drink AND sexy driving and putting lessons, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish!” Elizabeth said with a smile , she wont know any thing. By the way, where is she?" "Under the cart!"
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 A young couple is golfing one day on a very exclusive course lined with multi-million dollar houses. On the third tee, the wife slices her shot right through the large front window of the biggest house along the course. They walk up, knock on the door, and hear a voice say, "Come on in." Opening the door, they see glass everywhere and a broken bottle lying on the floor. A man on the couch says, "Are you the people who broke my window" The husband begins to apologize, but the man cuts him off. "Actually, I want to thank you! I'm a genie who was trapped in that bottle, and your wayward shot released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes, so what I'd like to do is give each of you one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself." "Fantastic!" says the husband. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem," says the genie, "it's the least I could do. It will appear in your bank account the first day of every year. And you, ma'am, what would you like?" "I want a house in every major resort in the world!" says the wife. "Consider it done," the genie replies, turning back to the man. "And now for my wish. Because I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't enjoyed the company of a woman in a really long time. My wish is to sleep with your wife." The husband takes a long look at his wife and says, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses. If you don't mind, honey, I don't either." The wife agrees, and the genie takes her upstairs. Three hours later, the genie rolls over, looks at the wife, and asks, "How old is your husband, anyway" "Thirty-five," she replies. "Huh! And he still believes in genies!!"
Taquila Tab, Sass #25048 Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 A man and wife are playing a round of golf when on the 14th hole he slices the ball nearly out of bounds. He has a terrible lie and no shot at the green. Just then his wife points out that if the doors to the nearby maintenance shed were open he could hit it through the building and be on the green in regulation. So, thinking this was a good idea the wife opens the sliding doors and the man takes out his 5-iron and hits a screaming liner which hits a beam in the shed, ricochets, striking his wife in the head, killing her. A few months go by and he's playing the same course with a buddy of his when on the same hole as before he slices again. His buddy points out that if he hit a well-placed shot through the maintenance shed he'd be on in two with a chance for a birdie. His buddy said, "Let me open the doors for you." "No thanks" said the golfer "The last time I tried that I ended up with a double-bogey".
Apache Hawk 60642 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Ifin' I cood curve a baseball da way I curve a golf ball............I'd be worth millions ! lol lol lol
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