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phone call we got


Trigger Mike

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My wife's guardian who raised her is sick and in a nursing home, not doing well. An acquaintance who visited her yesterday calls today and asked what we are going to do with her car. I told them since it is in her name nothing while she is alive. His reply was that he doubted she would drive if she ever got better. I told him she was already not driving when she bought it so others who drive her would have something reliable to take her places in. Said he wanted it for his grand daughter. Seemed like he almost did not want to take no for an answer. It seems like the buzzards are already swooping around seing what they can get. The sponges showed up today to see her, the ones who used her to pay their moonthly bills.

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Shame on them!

I have never understood people like that.

 

 

I have seen families torn apart by greed.

I've thought, "what would their loved one think of their actions?"

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Hate to say this and I know you've probably thought of it, but have you made sure she cannot sign anything binding without your signature in addition to hers? Some of our lawyers can probably advise you better, but a simple, durable power of attorney may be all you need. Hate to have her sign over title to the car and not know what she was doing.

 

Good luck and oh, BTW, rock salt loads of 12 gauge work well on vultures. ;)

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When my fatehr got older and retired, and started living mostly out of his Motorhome he gave all us kids stuff "to hold for him" until later if he needed it. He had most of his belongings already distributed before he finally died, eliminated the potential of hard feelings about who got what as he decided where everything went. He was a smart cookie. I may do the same thing.

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My uncle John, a retired Master Chief, passed in late 2001. He had been widowed several years by then. After he passed my cousin Jan got calls from three women who said "John said I could have his car when he died."

 

All I can say is, that John's last years were not lonely. :rolleyes:

 

 

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When my fatehr got older and retired, and started living mostly out of his Motorhome he gave all us kids stuff "to hold for him" until later if he needed it. He had most of his belongings already distributed before he finally died, eliminated the potential of hard feelings about who got what as he decided where everything went. He was a smart cookie. I may do the same thing.

 

+1

 

Before my folks passed away, Dad in 1998 and Mom in 1999, they had made me joint owner of all bank accounts, stocks, bonds, and such. They had already sold the house, before moving into a retirement community. Being an only child, and sole heir, I had a durable Power of Attorney, as well. The only thing I had to do was transfer the car title to my name. They had expressed their wishes to me as far as distributing keepsakes and sums of money to family friends and relatives, mostly my cousins, which I honored, of course. Mom made me sole heir and executor of her will, so everything was very easy. I was very thankful that they had spared me the anguish of a squabble among family and friends after they were gone. Their loss was painful enough without added grief.

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Shame on them!

I have never understood people like that.

 

 

I have seen families torn apart by greed.

I've thought, "what would their loved one think of their actions?"

 

When my wife worked for a law firm that did a lot of estate work she was shocked at the way families behaved like hyenas after the death of a loved one.

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My wife's guardian who raised her is sick and in a nursing home, not doing well. An acquaintance who visited her yesterday calls today and asked what we are going to do with her car. I told them since it is in her name nothing while she is alive. His reply was that he doubted she would drive if she ever got better. I told him she was already not driving when she bought it so others who drive her would have something reliable to take her places in. Said he wanted it for his grand daughter. Seemed like he almost did not want to take no for an answer. It seems like the buzzards are already swooping around seing what they can get. The sponges showed up today to see her, the ones who used her to pay their moonthly bills.

 

My younger brother called me yeterday and said our oldest sister was snooping around Mom's place looking at items she considered 'heirlooms' - I hear ya pard :(

 

GG ~ :FlagAm:

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My wife's family was a lot like that when her parents passed. It was disgusting to see how many of them were lined up with their hands out.

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My parents are now in assisted living after a tumultuous time with hospital stays, skilled nursing and emergency rooms for them both. The people involved in their care are my oldest brother, my sister and myself. My next oldest brother lives about 5 hours drive and has no involvement what-so-ever with any of this, or visits during holidays and special occasions. He made a phone call recently to my Mom and suggested that they distribute their "estate" (not much of anything really) to the kids so they could "enjoy" seeing them use their inheritance. The 3 of us as written above share the POA for their financial and healthcare duties. With directions from my Mom, guess who got stricken from the will the day after the phone call? Not looking forward to when the will is read since I am the Administrator....or am I ???

Hope they spend their last dime before the day they pass. They earned it, so they should benefit from it.

Some people value things over relationship......I feel sorry for them.

TT

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Approximately 1/3 of my practice is in estate planning & probate. I have seen behavior in my conference room by family members that would make Jerry Springer blush. In one instance, I had a family member attack me in the conference room, in front of his brothers and sisters. The old "Army training" kicked in, and I quickly hip rolled him to the floor, placed my boot across his throat, and called 911 from my cell phone in my pocket. The Sheriff's Deputy "removed" him......and this was all over "who gets the zero-turn-radius lawn mower." :o

 

Drafting wills for clients is one of my most favorite activities involved in my job. It is one of the activities in which I feel as if I'm truly helping someone take care of their business. I tell each client "You never truly know someone until you've shared an inheritance with them." I still believe this to be true.

 

Probate law varies from state to state, but I wouldn't feel like I've done my duty unless I ask each of you to get a will drafted. In most states, if you don't have a will, the state will "give you one." You may not like how "your stuff" (one of those highly technical legal terms I use with clients :) ) gets divided. In Texas, for instance, let's say you're remarried with kiddos by a previous marriage. Your half of the community property goes to those kiddos by a previous marriage. This shocks many who come to see me. So, do you're job/duty to your loved ones and get a will prepared.

 

I will also point out that I litigate will contests. It has been my experience that 90% of the contested wills that I've been involved in over the past 10 years were "box wills" bought at Office Depot or somewhere or something someone "pulled off the internet." Go see a professional. Most wouldn't try to rewire their house with instructions found on the internet, so don't do it here. This is one of those things where you truly get what you pay for.

 

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now.

 

To Trigger Mike ---- if the loved one in the nursing home is receiving Medicaid benefits, selling the car (which is an exempt asset under the Medicaid qualifications) may have an adverse impact on her benefits. You'd need to discuss this with an elder law attorney to make sure, but it does provide a "handy" excuse to keep the buzzards at bay. ;)

 

Chick

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People like that have absolutely no class. And the sad part about it is that they have no clue, even when somebody tells them that they have no class. They just don't get it.

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Remember the movie Grand Torino?

 

Anyway, A close family friend of ours invited me to see his gun collections and swap stories. He had several commemorative firearms including a gold centennial golden spike Win 94 rifle, Colt .22 revolver and a golden spike. The serial number of the rifle is #006. He and his wife wanted to give them to me but I declined. I told him to save it for his boys or his grandsons. He died a year later. Shortly after his funeral his oldest son took all his father's guns without telling his mother. To this day, his mom does not know what he did with his father's gun collections. His mom keeps asking but he would avoid her questions. What is sad is that his son does know the stories about the guns and how he earned it. His son didn't even know that his father's favorite gun is a beat up .25. It is sad how some do not respect heirlooms and traditions and only see them as personal gains.

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I have 2 sisters. I'm the youngest. I am so very glad that my oldest sister is responsible and has good sense.

She feels the same way about our parents and about their stuff. I have always made it known that I didn't feel they owed us anything.

They earned everything they had. If they wanted to bury it in the yard or give it to the guy down the street.... that was their business.

During the last year of my Dad's life my Mother decided it would be best to go ahead and each of us girls "part" of our inheritance. Each of us got the same amount put in an account with only our name on it. WITH THE UNDERSTANDING that we were not to touch it until both of our parents were gone. It was a safety net for our Mother. She just didn't want the government to get it if our Dad had to go in a nursing home for an extented time. As it turned out, Daddy died soon after that. Well my middle sister spent all of hers. When Mother ask her about it... after finding out she was buying cars and cabins... my sister told her it was none of her business, it was HER money and to never contact her or her family again.

My sister has not spoke to our Mother or myself in over 2 years. Turned her back on her own Mother and most of her family over money. You can imagine how this has broken our Mother's heart.

Since then that same sister has divorced her husband. The whole family always loved her husband. We all thought he was a saint for putting up with her. HE has stayed in contact with the family.... checks on Mom every few days. He knows family is important.

 

 

My older sister and I tell each other often, "thank you for knowing what's important"

.... cause it sure ain't money

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Just experienced this myself with an old neighbor's family. hubby was gone as well as her only son. There were two grand kids by different Mom's. The one in charge of the estate didn't want the other to have what was stated in the will. So, she drug her feet, and didn't get things settled in probate. We warned her about leaving the house sit for very long, and also about keeping the heat/electricity on. She didn't. Last time we checked on the house, there was about two inches of water all over the main flor( split level, very nice home)and the walls and ceiling was all mold. House ruined, plus anything left in there, including a large electronic organ. Bet the lady is turning over in her grave, hope she comes back and haunts her.... :blush:

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Well, I believe the Lord sees all and knows all. Those who do things like those posted above forge their own shovel in the pits of hell. Hell is hot because lost souls shovel coal in a firey furnace for all eternity to keep it hot. No rest, no water, unending toil of back breaking work, shoveling coal. Good folks walk in the light and those who don't, well that shovel is waiting....

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