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passing gas in church


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This says it all about getting older & the whole aging thing..

 

Church Fart

An older couple is attending church services.

About halfway through, the wife writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says,

I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?

He scribbles back, Put a new battery in your hearing aid!

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I showed my daughter my new license plate (hopefully to be approved (the SOS did cash the check..so))

 

It reads 'GUNFTR' - she says as plain as can be 'Gun Farter' - guess I best start and mind my manners :lol:

 

 

GG ~ :FlagAm:

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The last whipping I got before my Dad passed away was at age 11 for laughing out loud during an evening Church service when my friend rattled the bench. Everyone within hearing distance was snickering under their breath but me, and I was howling out loud. Caught my Dad's eyes looking at me, and he didn't look happy at my outburst, simply pointed at me and the laughter immediately dried up.....Worst whipping I ever had, and it was for disrupting the preaching.....Dad told me he didn't care if my friend $h1t his pants, that I would never laugh out loud in Church again.... :wacko::unsure:

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My Father, when Mom made him go to chruch, would pass a fart, SBD's as we call'em.

 

Even one, when they got a wiff, knew my Father had farted ! :blink:

 

Mom got red as a beet.......my Father would just shrugg his shoulders and us kids would fall off the pews laughing ! :lol: :lol:

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Rules for royal deportment (instructions to Princess Suldrun):

 

"Neither titter, nor scratch yourself, nor wiggle in your chair as if your bottom itched. Do not belch, gurgle or gulp. If some one breaks wind, do not stare or point or attempt to place the blame. Naturally you will control yourself as well; nothing is more conspicuous than a farting princess."

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Reminds me of the time I was in graduate school riding the elevator to the first floor. I had a really bad case of lower intestinal distress so I figured what the heck, I'm alone.... The doors opened up I got off two of my classmates got on, I turned and looked as the doors were closing and I'll never forget the look on one of the guy's face as he caught a whiff and said, HEY, and the doors closed. :lol:

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This says it all about getting older & the whole aging thing..

 

Church Fart

An older couple is attending church services.

About halfway through, the wife writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says,

I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?

He scribbles back, Put a new battery in your hearing aid!

LOL LOL :D:o:)^_^:lol:

That is funny Pard !

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At a training session one day at work, a co-worker let go with a thunderous blast. He turned quickly and looked at the person sitting next to him. With a look of disgust, he loudly said, "Well, I sure hope you feel better now."

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they are funny.. .sorry but I was the first one to laugh at the table and get into trouble.. but my dad would make t he "giver of gas" say ... excuse me.. lol... How can you say that really? lol... But guys one thing I don't miss is the "pressure cooker".. honest I will get even with anyone who tries that again.. fool me once.. lol

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A place where I use to work in AZ and a multi line switchboard ... an older lady ran it, and she was hard of hearing. yep... all day long you would hear little brrrrurts.. comeing out of the door way.. lol.... Sorry.. I just can't help but laugh no matter how many times I am told to stop it.. I can't.. lol.. I stopped by and talked to her one day and she was pass gas while we talked I couldn't stop laughing so I had to leaved.. I am pretty sure he thought I was nuts.. lol

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At a training session one day at work, a co-worker let go with a thunderous blast. He turned quickly and looked at the person sitting next to him. With a look of disgust, he loudly said, "Well, I sure hope you feel better now."

 

My dear wife let a loud one go at Sears then turned around to face me with a look of disgust and said loudly "You pig!"

 

Since then I either walk in front of her or just disappear into the tools section...................she walks alone!.

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once I was having one of those rules of life disussions with my teenage son. I jokingly told him that women do not fart. And even when they do fart, they still do not fart.

 

I heard once that whenever ex president Gerald Ford would break wind he would blame on his secret service peaple..... I guess if you are willing to take a bullet for the president, taking the blame for farting wouldnt be any big deal.

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once I was having one of those rules of life disussions with my teenage son. I jokingly told him that women do not fart. And even when they do fart, they still do not fart.

 

I heard once that whenever ex president Gerald Ford would break wind he would blame on his secret service peaple..... I guess if you are willing to take a bullet for the president, taking the blame for farting wouldnt be any big deal.

 

:lol: ...and when president Obama breaks wind he blames Bush....:P

 

GG ~ :FlagAm:

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I was once told that women don't belch, they don't sweat and they don't fart. Therefore they HAVE to b*tch or they'd explode. :wacko:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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I was once told that women don't belch, they don't sweat and they don't fart. Therefore they HAVE to b*tch or they'd explode. :wacko:

Yep, my Father told me that they just can't keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the required pressure ;)

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I was once told that women don't belch, they don't sweat and they don't fart. Therefore they HAVE to b*tch or they'd explode. :wacko:

Yep, my Father told me that they just can't keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the required pressure ;)

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Reminds me of the time I was in graduate school riding the elevator to the first floor. I had a really bad case of lower intestinal distress so I figured what the heck, I'm alone.... The doors opened up I got off two of my classmates got on, I turned and looked as the doors were closing and I'll never forget the look on one of the guy's face as he caught a whiff and said, HEY, and the doors closed. :lol:

 

 

There was this sales lady who was demonstrating "Pine Scented Aerosol Spray" in the local hotel. As she was walking down the hall, she was overcome with a tremendous urge to pass wind. There was no Ladies Room in sight, so she ran down the hall to the elevator. She just made it into the elevator and closed the door, when she let it rip. It was a monster, it ripped her panties, her make-up started to run, and the paint started to peel off the elevator walls. Just then, the elevator started to move. In a panic she grabbed one of her "Pine Scented Aerosol Spray" cans and emptied it into the elevator. The door opened and a man got in. He said, "What's that awful smell?" She said, "What does it smell like?" He said, "It smells like somebody $hit under a pine tree." :lol::lol:

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There was this sales lady who was demonstrating "Pine Scented Airisol Spray" in the local hotel. As she was walking down the hall, she was overcome with a tremendous urge to pass wind. There was no Ladies Room in sight, so she ran down the hall to the elevator. She just made it into the elevator and closed the door, when she let it rip. It was a monster, it ripped her panties, her make-up started to run, and the paint started to peel off the elevator walls. Just then, the elevator started to move. In a panic she grabed one of her "Pine Scented Airisol Spray" cans and emptied it into the elevator. The door opened and a man got in. He said, "What's that awful smell?" She said, "What does it smell like?" He said, "It smells like somebody $hit under a pine tree." :lol::lol:

 

 

Well told, sir! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Are the tears from the jokes or from the smell? :wacko:

 

My 'puter is a few years old so it is not equipped as them new fangled sniff-a-puters.:lol:

 

I HAVE to stay away from this thread though.... too many hysterical memories growing up.

 

 

W

 

:FlagAm:

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