Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted December 24, 2011 Posted December 24, 2011 Knock Knock Who's there ! Ice cream ! Ice cream who ? Ice cream if you don't let me in !
Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L Posted December 24, 2011 Posted December 24, 2011 What's invisible and smells like carrots? BUNNY FARTS!
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted December 24, 2011 Posted December 24, 2011 If ducks had been intended to fly they would have propellers.
Grumpy Old Man Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 What is black and white and red all over? a newspaper. A sunburnt zebra
Cowboy Small Posted December 25, 2011 Posted December 25, 2011 I think President Obama is the bestest President that we have ever had........... Not old enough.......
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 What part of a cat is like Napoleon? The boney part. (My grandson's favorite joke when he was about seven years old.)
Harvey Mushman Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 or a wounded nun, rolling down a hill Or a sunburned Zebra! (edit - darn, GOM got the shot off first!) What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing - he didn't recognize them! How do you hide an elephant in a strawberry patch? Paint his toenails red! Ya think I'm kiddin', but I bet ya never seen one there! See?!?! Happy New Year (another chance to relive our youth - again!)
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? A: Time to build a new fence.
Deadeye Doug Dalton SASS#65449L Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 Mother Nature was walking through a park, when she saw the two statues that were there. She said, "You two statues have been very good statues for a long time. I'm going to give you 15 minutes of life, so you can do what ever you would like." The boy ststue looked at the girl statue and smiled. They stepped down from thier pedistals, grabed each others hand, and ran off into the bushes, The bushes shook, and there was noise and laughter. Then, after the 15 minutes was up, the statues got back up on their pedistals. Mother Nature said, "That wasn't enough time, you can have another 15 minutes. The boy statue said to the girl statue, "This yime, I'll hold the pidgon and you $hit on his head." ----------------------------------------------------- If it weren't for electricity we would all be watching television by candlelight. George Gobel
Diamond S Doug Posted December 26, 2011 Posted December 26, 2011 How many men does it take to open a beer? None it should be opened by the time she brings it to him.
Dusty Hill, sass # 49256 Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 a guy walks into a bar with on frog on top of his head. The bar tender sees them and says, "so what do we have here?" The frog says,"it all started with a wart on my a$$".
Snake River Clay SASS #34984 Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 To catch a polar bear you cut a hole in the ice. Catch some fish through the hole and leave them around the hole. When a polar bear comes up to take a fish run up behind him and kick him in the ice hole. What do you call a Raggety Ann doll lying in the sand with a stone in its mouth? A dirty cotton rock sucker.
Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 Posted December 27, 2011 Posted December 27, 2011 How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb? Two: one to hold the bulb and one to drink vodka until the room starts spinning.
Deadeye Doug Dalton SASS#65449L Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 This guy gets sent to prison. At mealtime he finds a friend that he knew on the outside. While they're eating, one of the prisoners stands up and says "17", and everybody laughs. Then, after a few minutes, another prisoner gets up and says, "25", and again, everybody laughs. He asks his buddy, "What's with the numbers, what's so funny/." His friend says, "We have all been here so long, that we just give the jokes numbers, we've all heard them so many times, we know them all." He figures, he will try this. So, he stands up and says, "15". Nobody laughs. He asks his buddy what he did wrong. His buddy replies, "Well, some people can tell a joke, and some people can't."
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