Red Logan #12252 Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 The Four Cats Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured Exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good. Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Employee called his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff." CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet. ...... Ate the cookies........ Drank the milk..... Sh*t on the paper....... Screwed the other three cats........ Claimed he injured his back while doing so. Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions....... Put in for Workers Compensation..................and Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave............ AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeremiah Sullivan Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 The Four Cats Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.... Okay, for our BOLD pards. This is the version I heard at a DEA training Seminar in San Diego back in February 1978... An LA SO Deputy, a Customs dog-handler and an FBI agent were at LAX, bragging.... The LASO Deputy releases his dog down the arrivals lane. Shortly the dog is back leading three UCLA undergrads muleing drugs in from south of the border, and herds them right up to the arresting officer, turning in signed, sworn voluntary confessions. The Customs Officer smiles knowingly, scratches his dog on the head and sends him forth. The Customs dog duplicates the feat, BUT he has already read the perps their rights, initiated a chain of custody on the evidence, performed a Duquenois-Levine field reagent test and started to book the Columbian mules. Now the LASO deputy is impressed with the paperwork. Both the Sheriff and the Customs man are confident the Bureau guy just can't possibly do better. The Bu guy pats his dog on the a$$ and says "John Edgar, do your stuff." The FBI dog goes into a point, seizes the suspects, impounds the evidence, takes the signed statements, screws the other two dogs and issues a press release. That story, mind you, was told by a veteran FBI guy, if my memory serves me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.