Okie Sawbones, SASS #77381 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 How To Cook A Turkey: Step 1: Go buy a turkey Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey Step 3: Put turkey in the oven Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink Step 7: Turk the bastey Step 8: Whiskey another bottle of get Step 9: Ponder the meat thermometer Step 10: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey Step 11: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey Step 13: Floor the turkey up off of the pick Step 14: Turk the carvey Step 15: Get yourself another scottle of botch Step 16: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey Step 17: Bless the dinner and pass out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Back when I was a kid, my best friend was spending thanksgiving with us, well in preparation for that, I'd procured some spirits, so we spent the morning consuming said spirits. At some point my mom called us to the kitchen, she wanted us to pick up the turkey and turn it over, we proceeded to flip it on to the floor and laugh our butts off. Told her why we were so clumsy years later, suddenly it all made sense to her... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusty Balz, SASS#46599 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Windshadow Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 My Dad and one of my Mom's Cousins "Uncle Jack"( or Cnl Hindly to head waiters lol) were doing the same thing with a 25 lb bird one Christmas when I was about 12... and while my mother was not best pleased.... My Grandmother who was also in the kitchen said while also laughing "That is the first Turkey I ever saw fly OUT of the Oven... and she told the youngsters to pick up the bird and not to say a word and rest of the 12 or so guests would never know anything about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 I ain't sayin' nuthin'. No confessions, nuthin'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 How To Cook A Turkey: Step 1: Go buy a turkey Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey Step 3: Put turkey in the oven Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink Step 7: Turk the bastey Step 8: Whiskey another bottle of get Step 9: Ponder the meat thermometer Step 10: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey Step 11: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey Step 13: Floor the turkey up off of the pick Step 14: Turk the carvey Step 15: Get yourself another scottle of botch Step 16: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey Step 17: Bless the dinner and pass out My sister invited me to her home, she was making Christmas dinner for everyone.. lol.. So, I came int he night before to help out.. and her husband and I got to make it.. I was maybe 15. The stuffing in the bird was dry, we forgot the eggs.. lol.. Anyhow she said he had a migraine.. uh.. more like Southern comfortr.. geesh... But we had the best time trying to make dinner and laughed for hours. The best part was her girls were liitle then and I think they hung out with us the whole night laughing and enjoying the night before the TURKEY died day.. lol... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 KILL turkey LIGHT fire EAT ..... at joes' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin Gun For Hire Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Okie, I followed your advice and by step 6 things got a little fuzzy and the bastey thingy got stuk inda wishky botll and the durky done cooked by his ownself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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