Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 An attorney friend of mine sent me the following "weird news" article from the ABA Journal and it got me to thinking. Uh, oh! Since many of you spend or have spent time in courtrooms as part of your living, what are some of the strangest, goofiest, outrageous things you've seen in court? Man Stabs His Defense Attorney With Pencil Doc Ward? Loophole? Anyone...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ned Buckshot, SASS #2901 Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Now there's a candidate for a .45 tranquilizer if I ever saw one! Ned Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mean Matt McCord, SASS #24683 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 When my daughter first started working as a probation officer, she was assigned to the county drug rehab court. She had one probationer (meth-head) that told her he could no longer work because HE had uterine cancer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 As a young man I worked as a manager in the bookkeeping department of a large Detroit bank. I was told by my boss that I needed to appear across the street in the court house at 1:00 pm (1300 hours to some} and testify to the signature on a disputed check. I took all of my records and went across the street after my lunch. I got there about ten minutes early and there was a case going on inside the courtroom, so I waited outside in the hall. We were on the second floor. A lot of loud noise was coming out of the courtroom but I could not distinguish what was being said and I had no idea by whom. Promptly at 1 PM (1300 hours) the doors flew open and two men came out of them. One was a small man about 5 foot tall and the other was a tall man about 6 foot four or so. The little guy had his finger out and he was giving the tall man what for. They walked across the hall toward the stairs. I guess the little guy hit the right note because just before they got to the stairs the big guy stopped, takes off his glasses, and puts them in his coat pocket, grabs the little guy but the shirt front, and pops him in the chops, knocking him down the first flight of stairs to the landing, The little guy got up and the big guy hit him again, knocking him down the stairs to the lobby. That was the last I ever saw of either of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maurice Mo Lassess, SASS #65309L Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 A not too bright defendant I took to court for a sentencing had been advised by his attorney that the judge would ask him to tell what he did, (his elocution) and then as him if as part of his sentencing he would waive certain rights. The def. got on the stand and immediately starts flapping his arm. The judge looks at him and asks what he was doing. "Your honor, I am waving my right, like my attorney told me to do." The judges managed to sentence him while chuckling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Military court martial: the defendant is being tried for stabbing another soldier in a fight. When asked if he stabbed Private - - - - - - - , the defendant said "No sir, I didn't, and if says I did I'll cut him again." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Wow... I'm just trying to think of all the things I've seen and heard that I can write about on a family forum. The guy that said the child wasn't his, and he didn't "care what a fraternity test" said. The judge asked him what kind of test he meant, and he reiterated, a fraternity test. The judge shook his head and said " I never said you were her brother." The guy that tried to convince us he was crazy by slamming his head on the table until his attorney slapped him on the back of the head and said "cut it out, you're embarrassing me." And the guy looked at him and said "sorry," and quit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracos Kid Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 My wife prosecuted a young man who's real name was Shithead, pronounced like sha-thead......go figure.... :wacko: I saw a deposition being taken once where a man and his wife had been in the conference room for about half an hour, with the proceedings being video-taped and recorded, when the man simply asked if anyone had any objection to him putting on a mask so no one would recognize him. The attorneys were puzzled, but agreed, so the man pulled a pair of panty-hose out of his pocket, slipped them over his head and kept right on talking...... :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted November 5, 2011 Author Share Posted November 5, 2011 Those are good ones! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pay Dirt Norvelle #90056 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 In my workings days I was a courtroom clerk. One day we were having what we called "the mentally ill calendar" anyway I was sitting at my desk and one of the people decided he has to talk to the judge and starts walking up to the bench and as I am the closest to the judge guess who gets to stop him? No realy problem ad the guy was just a bit off. Then there was the time one the electric motors in the a/c unit in our courtroom decided to catch on fire and we had the Fire Dept. up there. I could probably write a book with weird stuff that went on in my courtroom over the years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blasted Cap Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Used to go to traffic court just to hear the stories on my days off. One day there was a cronic speeder in for speeding, driving with a revoked license, etc, etc. The judge asked him how many points he had and why was he driving. The guy said he was't sure how many points he had. The judge stood on the desk and said here is your driving record. Held is arm over his head and let the print out hit the floor. Judge said he currently had 46 active points on his record. At the time in MD you got 1 point off every 6 months without a violation, 5 got you suspended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Smokepole #29248L Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I had a guy for Aggravated Assault. As he was standing in front of the Judge (female) he told her that she shouldn't be taking a job away from a man and that she should be home making babies rather than doing a man's job.... She turned 18 different shades of red and purple.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I had a guy for Aggravated Assault. As he was standing in front of the Judge (female) he told her that she shouldn't be taking a job away from a man and that she should be home making babies rather than doing a man's job.... She turned 18 different shades of red and purple.... and threw the book at him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Smokepole #29248L Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Posted Today, 11:22 AM View PostSergeant Smokepole #29248L, on 05 November 2011 - 11:19 AM, said: I had a guy for Aggravated Assault. As he was standing in front of the Judge (female) he told her that she shouldn't be taking a job away from a man and that she should be home making babies rather than doing a man's job.... She turned 18 different shades of red and purple.... and threw the book at him? Actually, she recused herself to avoid any allegations of personal bias, had the case transferred to another Judge and that Judge not only gave him a tear in County Jail, but he also cited him for Contempt of Court, which carries no definitive sentence. The guy sat in County for 8 days before he apologized to the court for his actions and statements. BTW, he started screaming and shouting how this Country was the place of the devil... Guess what his nationality was??????? The case was rock solid and this action was him threatening 14 Fire Fighters with a bat.... Swinging it at them repeatedly before he jumped back into his car and fled. This was all because they had "The gall to block the street to back in the rig and kept him waiting... He was in a hurry.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Foolery U.S.M. #2348 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I served on a jury against a guy for shoplifting. He was found with a pair of pants stuffed into his underwear. He said he was innocent for lack of evidence. He admitted stealing the pants, but the store put the pants back in stock. I'd hate to be the guy that wears THOSE pants TF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron Pony Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 We had a judge who filled in at our district court when the regular guy was out.... We loved him because he was a real hard ass. One of our local frequent flyers was in for an arraignment on a misdemeanor case. This was before the entire world population had been inked, pierced and otherwise modified but this guy would whistle when he passed you on his bicycle he had so many accessories hanging off him. He also didnt know to showup in anything like what you'd call proper clothing. Visiting judge eyeballed him and made sure to schedule the case for when he would be back in town and sitting then suggested the nimrod show up in a shirt and tie or absent that bring his toothbrush/checkbook to cover all possible options. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loophole LaRue, SASS #51438 Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 When I was still in law school, a lawyer friend (later the governor of Massachusetts) took me to court so I could see a real trial. His client was a young fellow with problems; he was accused of leaving the scene of a MV accident after causing property damage (busted utility pole and guard rail). Based on a witness' description of his pick-up, the police arrived at his home, rousted him out of bed, and arrested him. Cross examining the arresting officer, my friend started out strong: "Did my client admit being involved in the accident?" "No", replied the cop. "Did the witness identify my client as the driver" "No", replied the cop. "Did anyone else inform you that my client was anywhere near the scene of this accident?" "No" replied the cop. "How was my client dressed when you arrived at his home?" "In his pajamas" replied the cop. Now, at this point, most lawyers would stop; no identification, no eyewitness to the client's actual involvement in the accident, and a client in his PJs all point to reasonable doubt. But my buddy decided to push the envelope, and committed the cardinal sin - asking a question on cross examination when you don't know the answer. "Well then, Officer O'Rourke, what made you think that my client was involved in this accident?" To which the officer replied: "It was pretty much the 4' section of guard rail sticking out of the grill of his truck." Guilty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I've always been warned of asking one question too many on cross examination! I was involved in a dependency case a few years into my career, and the mother of four children was fighting to keep the county from permanently terminating parental rights. Her attorney argued in closing that part of the problem was that she, the mother, lived on a fixed income, and couldn't support the children to the county's standards. I started doing the math while waiting for rebuttal closing... On Disability, receiving Section Eight housing, SSI for each child, food stamps, her own SSI. On rebuttal, I listed all of those things and the total, noting she didn't have a mortgage, utilities, or the like. I then pointed out that with all of the money and equivalent coming in when the kids were in her custody, she was making more than I did, and I had utilities, student loans, a mortgage, and two kids. The judge's jaw dropped, and I thought her attorney would wrench her neck from the double take she did. While I was in private practice briefly, I handled one divorce. At the beginning of the case we were having a preliminary evidentiary hearing in front of a magistrate. While my client was testifying, the attorney for the wife, who had been in practice for a number of years, jumped up and said "OBJECTION!! Your Honor, he's lying!" There was several moments of silence, while I tried to remember that being cause for objection (as opposed to something attacked on cross examination), and while the magistrate looked at the attorney like he was too stupid to live. When the magistrate finally got his wits about him. literally shaking his head, he said "overruled, counselor," with particular emphasis on "counselor." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry T Harrison Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I was the arresting officer in a case where a youth minister was charged with molesting a 12 year old girl. After a preliminary hearing the case was held for court. Prior to the trial I was called to the courtroom to face a judge who was known to be very anti police in fact he had once been the head of the Neighborhood Legal Aid office. The defendant’s attorney was asking that the case be dismissed because I refused to turn over notes that he claimed that I took at the preliminary hearing. He was told several times that I had no notes from that day. I was called a liar several times while I was on the stand and he insisted that he had witnesses to the effect that I had taken notes and demanded that the case be dismissed and that I be charged with perjury. After 15 minutes of brow beating and character assassination it was the Assistant District Attorneys turn to question me. She asked only one question, where were you doing the preliminary hearing? Answer, OUT IN THE HALL I was sequestered and had never been in the courtroom at all. The jackass attorney was of course the same attorney that handled the preliminary hearing, and the notes he wanted were notes taken by the Assistant District Attorney which of course he didn’t get Needless to say the Judge was livid, it was the first and only time I ever saw a judge call an attorney incompetent in open court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Smokepole #29248L Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I have been in court with a guy for Possession of a stolen Motor Vehicle. When a computer check revealed the car stolen, we attempted to curb him. He took off and zig zagged for a few miles before sliding into a curb and breaking an axle. he bailed out and I caught him after a mile long foot chase (I was younger and in better shape back then.... Try catching up with an 18 year old rabbit..........LOL) In court, we were sitting and the Judge came in and before the proceeding began, he asked the defense attorney for a ride home as his car was in the shop. It seem that they were not only neighbors but life long friends. After the prosecution ended their arguments in which the defense tried to say that his client was an honor student and didn't know that the car was stolen, I corrected him saying that the car was started by using a screwdriver jammed into the peeled column. The Judge told the court reporter "Off the record." and the court reporter stopped typing. The Judge asked me if I had any problem with the case being lowered down to a misdemeanor. My response was curt. I said "Judge, I am unaware of any provision in the Statutes for Possession of a Stolen Motor Vehicle for a misdemeanor charge and that he didn't need my permission or my complicity to do what he was doing." The Judge realized that I inferred that he was a crook and found the guy guilty and gave him 2 years probation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoken D Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Hit and run accident. The defense attorney tells the judge that he would not contest any information or testimony. The only one thing he asked is if the 2 witnesses who could identify the suspect pick him out in the courtroom. At that time the defendant was not seated with the defense attorney. The 2 witnesses came forward, looked around the courtroom, and said they did not see the defendant. Attorney asked the case be dismissed and the judge was about to dismiss the case when I stood up and asked to come forward. I did and spoke with the prosecutor. We then asked the defense attorney to have the defendant stand up. The defense attorney hesitated and did not want to identify the suspect. The judge then told the defense attorney to have the defendant identify himself. No one stood up and then I informed the judge that the defendant was in jail in another county. Oh, was my judge kind of hot! Needless to say the judge put the defense attorney in lock up for contempt, and found the defendant guilty and sentenced him to 6 months in lock up. Now another story, my most embarrassing moment in my life, so far. Was in Grand Jury testifying in a case and said, “The odor of an alcoholic beverage was detected on Mr. Bad Guy's ….. was suppose to say BREATH, but said , BREAST”. Ohhhh, the ladies started laughing, guys blushing. One lady then said, we know what you are thinking about. I was standing and just collapsed in a chair and put my hands over my head. I finally looked up, apologized, and when on with the story. I testified most every week and had been testifying to the same Grand Jury folks for several months. They all knew me and I was just devastated. Good Grief! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeremiah Sullivan Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 An attorney friend of mine sent me the following "weird news" article from the ABA Journal and it got me to thinking. Uh, oh! Since many of you spend or have spent time in courtrooms as part of your living, what are some of the strangest, goofiest, outrageous things you've seen in court? Man Stabs His Defense Attorney With Pencil Doc Ward? Loophole? Anyone...? About thirty years or so ago, there was a General Court Martial involving a fatal shooting on a Naval installation, involving two Gunners Mates, the subject/defendant and the victim. One point of contention, raised at trial by the defense, was that the shooting was accidental, resulting from a hair trigger on the weapon, which if my memory is correct, was a GI M1911 in .45 ACP. Our special agent assigned to that facility had lead the investigation and the prosecution's case included the usual (for the time) forensics testing, including testimony by the US Army Criminal Investigations Laboratory regarding the actual trigger pull. The laboratory provided test results and provided a clear description of the technical steps taken at the laboratory to determine the trigger pull. All very routine, all very convincing. The civilian defense counsel had obtained his own "forensics/ballistics" expert, a local private investigator and retired Navy Warrant Officer whose testimony was to the effect that his own forefinger was so sensitive that he could discern the necessary force required to pull the trigger and assured the court that his method was far superior to that of the mere technicians and scientists of the USACIL. It seems his testimony did not sway the court sufficiently and the subject/defendant was convicted. A footnote to the case came some time later when the private investigator himself was arrested by the FBI for violating the Espionage Statutes. And the rest is a Paul Harvey moment, if ever there was one.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckhorn Woodie Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 22 years working a CA prison full of molesters , Chester's, snitches & punks were would you like me to start? Lets see about the inmate who was going out to Court and wanted to escape... so has someone ( I think it was his lawyer) smuggle him in a 25 auto. So the inmate sticks the 25 up his butt and waits for transport. Well the Guards put him handcuffed & shackled put him in the backseat of a transport car and they head out to Court. On the way the inmate digs the 25 out of his butt ripping it all to hell....Sitting in the back of the cop car...in handcuffs & shackles in a pool of blood and crap he points the 25 at the guards and tells them to pull over and get out...so they did...leaving the inmate handcuffed & shackled sitting a pool of blood and crap with a ripped up butt hole holding the blood & crap covered 25 auto locked in the backseat of the cop car... Don't ya just love a well thought out plan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukon Charley, SASS Life #14739 Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Judge Mary Grace Boone (Bless her heart) reportedly had a 99.8% conviction rate in her city court in Lansing, Kansas, back in the mid-1970's. This very arrogant defendant came into HER court to dispute a speeding ticket & promptly presented Judge Boone with a speedometer certification that indicated his speedometer would read 50 mph when the car would actually going 60. "So, your evidence is that your speedometer was actually faulty & you were not intentionally speeding?" Judge Boone asked. "That's correct, Judge. It wasn't my fault due to a faulty speedometer," answered Mr. Arrogance as he smirked at the issuing officer. "Very well," said Judge Boone. "I fine you $60 for speeding & another $60 for faulty equipment. Pay the clerk!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Hawk 60642 Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Back in my trucking days, I was coming down the "Grape Vine" on I-5 north. 3 lanes and trucks are only allowed in the first lane. Saw a crush happen in front of my rig, so I cut out into the middle lane to avoid it and a state trooper was setting right there. And, of course, I got a ticket. Went to the local truck stop to sleep that night. After supper, walking back to my rig, I was jumped by 3 guys. It was the 4th guy I didn't see and broke a bll bat over my back. Came to, with the aid of over truckers, and the cops came and asked me hundreds os questions. My license, and credit card was missing as well as all the cash I had. I was inveted to be the best man at a very good friend of mine in the Bahamas. So, I went. Now, comes the best part. The Kern County Clerk of Court sent me a letter stateing I owed them $$$.$$ and that's it ! I thought I payed the fine for being in the middle lane. And, in deed, I had a canceled check from the Kern County Office. But the Office Clerk kelt sending me those letters and fanialy put the whoa on my license. I had to get a lawyer and go to court out there. I had a damn good lawyer. But I was able to show that I had payed the fine, twice, and that the pic on the CDL License was not me. It was a black man ! The judge said to me, and I quote, " These troopers are my eyes and ears out there on the highway. If these troopers say you where in the wrong lane and the clerk's office said you did not pay the fine, then I will take you're license now." My lawyer looked at me and said, and again I quote, "You're Honor, In my opinion, this is a kangaroo court, and you're the biggest kangaroo here !" He was held in contenpt of court and told me not to pay Kern County a penny. This happened back in 1989 and I still haven't payed Kern County nothing and he's still defending me........for free !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry T Harrison Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Here’s another one. I did a controlled delivery of drugs with the Postal Inspectors. We found not only the drugs that we delivered but 75 grams of almost pure coke; we also found the coke sitting on a display box containing a mint S&W 44 mag. We charged the lady with the drugs and a Federal weapons charge for the gun since drug dealers are not allowed to own or posses’ firearms. When the case came to court the defense attorney demanded to know how I was qualified to function test the gun to determine it was operable. I explained to the court that I was a graduate of several firearms armorer’s schools including S&W. He then wanted to know what the exact tests I used were. I advised him that I used the most conclusive test that there was and that as I stated in my report that I took the gun to our range loaded six rounds and fired all six rounds into a target a copy of which had been included in his file at discovery. The judge just rolled his eyes in disgust and asked the attorney if he even read the file. The defendant got 5 years and unfortunately the defense attorney ended up with the gun by court order (from a different judge) as part of his fee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracos Kid Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I had a defendant in a rape case who pled "Guilty by reason of Insanity".....The Judge asked him "what do you mean by Insanity", to which the defendant exclaimed, "Yo honor, I's just crazy about that stuff"....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 My daughter got a BA in paralegal studies and then a Law degree. Both degrees required an internship and she did both internships at the NH Attorney General's office. The former AG, now Senator Ayotte, assures me that the interns actually worked because the AG's office was always short of money and needed all the free labor it could get. Anyway, one time Rae had to accompany a state lawyer to the state prison to take an affadavit because a con was suing the state over access to pornography. Later Rae appeared in court when the judge dismissed the suit. The next term at law school, that judge entered the classroom as the Professor. He looked over the students and the first thing he said to his new class was "There will be no pornography in this class Miss Weston." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pulp, SASS#28319 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I'm not a courtroom person, only been in one a couple of times, but anyway, the first year I shot at Ambush at Cavern Cove, Sawyer had to be in court (he was a PA that was working for the husband) over a divorce case on Friday morning. Side matches started that afternoon. So we went to the courthouse. The judge asked anyone that might testify be excused from the courtroom until needed. Being nosy, and again, not well acquainted with court proceedings I stayed to watch. The wife was on the stand first. She claimed very low income and needed a large alimony. The husband's lawyer, with clever questioned finally got her to admit she actually made several thousand dollars a month. Her lawyer kinda started squirming. Then the lawyer asked her if she had been involved in a traffic accident, "Yes" "Were you naked in the back seat of the car with your boss when the accident occurred?" "No." "The EMT report said you had no clothes on." "Oh, I thought you said necking, I was naked but we weren't necking." Her lawyer slumped a bit. Then the lawyer asked, "Are you aware we have photographs of you, naked, in your bedroom, sitting on top of your boss?" "Yes, but were weren't having sex......................................................................................... (wait for it) yet." Her lawyers head actually hit the table. Side note: while proceedings were going on, a very loud cell phone began ringing just outside the courtroom. I was sitting in the back row, by the door. The judge looked at me with fire coming out of his eyes. I just held my hands up and shrugged, "Not me" Sawyer told me later that judge would have put me in jail for contempt if it had actually been my phone ringing in court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Smokepole #29248L Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 And I pray that I never see another Court Room.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickahominy Charlie Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I'm an "old guy" that went back to law school (in my mid 30's) and have been practicin' for about 10 years now. This is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen in a courtroom (to date). I was in a small East Texas County District Court to attend a hearing which involved 40 or so lawyers (toxic tort stuff with lots of defendants). The Judge, in true gentlemanly fashion, told us that he had a divorce that he wanted to "get out of the way" before he heard our sure-to-be lengthy discussion. The old couple that approached the bench had to be in their early to mid 60's. Ma and Pa Kettle come to mind. The husband had on bib overalls, work boots, and carried a well-used straw hat in his hands. The lawyers did their thing, and when they were finished, the Judge asked the old fella, "Mr. #####, you've been married 47 years to this woman.....are sure this is what you want?" The old fella shuffled his feet a bit and replied, "Well Judge, I never much liked her no how." It was all we could do in the gallery to keep from bustin'.....and the Judge took a "short recess" after hurriedly signing the divorce decree. Chick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I've been around long enough to remember when we could smoke in the courtroom; ashtrays at counsel table where we'd stub out the cigs when the judge came in to the bench.... More than oncet wrote questions out for the plaintiff's attorney to ask his expert to get the show on the road..... I was in front of Judge Kurtz, the judge in the article about the pencil-stabbing that started the thread, several times last year. A very good judge. I'll have to think about some stories; many, many interesting cases, for sure. Tried my first jury case 37 years ago and still at it and like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Phil DeGrave SASS #55202 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I was on jury duty once, we had to be there for two weeks in a row. It was two days to go and I finally got called onto a (panel)? The case was about a (drunk) man being accused of beating his wife. The attorneys asked a bunch of questions about spousal abuse, drug use etc. Then then they brought in the "couple". Upon seeing them, I for whatever reason and maybe a bit louder than I should have said, "He looks like the kind of guy to beat a woman, and she looks like she needed beatin!". OH MAN was the judge pissed. I was whisked out of the court room so fast my feet didn't touch the floor. I was asked to leave the courthouse and to NOT return. I would be given full credit for serving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Kris Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I am not involved in law or law enforcement but I have been to court a few times as a witness. I used to work in retail as a loss prevention officer. The most depressing job I've ever had. One court case comes to mind. Back in the 1980's I witnessed an older gentleman take a package of bedding from our store and slip it into a large shopping bag he was carrying. He then proceeded out of the store. I stopped him and we went through the process of taking his statement, having the police pick him up ........ The court day came and I went as an agent from our store. During the proceedings, the gentleman was asked by the judge said "Mr.***** your real estate business must be slow because I see you're back to shoplifting again." The DA looked at me and kind of smirked, then turned back to the judge. The judge asked him "Are you still going to counseling?" The man looked at his feet and said "No". I looked at the DA with a what's going on here kind of look. The judge asked him "Do you still have your card on you?" He nodded yes and reached in a pocket for his wallet. The judge asked the bailiff to take take the card and bring it to him. The judge noted the card was still current. The judge then asked the DA if the merchandise in question had been returned to the store. He said yes. The judge ordered the gentleman to return to counseling and dismissed the case. I was stunned. The DA motioned to me to follow him outside. In the hall he explained the man is a "certified" kleptomaniac. According to the state, as long as he is receiving counseling and as long as we receive the merchandise back in new condition, we can't do anything to him. The card he showed the judge was his mental illness "Certification" card. He should have shown it to me or the police when he was stopped but didn't. If he had, the police would have just taken a report, barred him from our stores and let him go. The joke around the store when I returned was "The klepto card, don't leave home without it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Almost forty years ago while a starving college student I'd been awarded a parking ticket in San Francisco, allegedly for encroaching on a foot to so of red-painted curb. I found out that this was courtesy of a few hulking football players moving my VW Beetle to make room for their own vehicle, and in consideration of my financial state decided to contest the ticket. So on the appointed date I presented myself in the assigned courtroom, arriving early enough to watch the proceedings - and was shocked at the "lady" judge! Two cases that preceded mine stick in my memory... First was a gentleman who'd been cited for parking in a loading zone. He admitted that he had, but felt he had no choice - his baby had stopped breathing, and he rushed him to the hospital, parked the only place he could find, and ran into the ER carrying the child. The judge gave him a stern look, and said that his reason was not an acceptable excuse, as his car parked there prevented the parking place from being used for it's intended commercial purpose - pay the clerk in Room 101! The second was a young lady who'd been cited for her car having been parked in front of a fire hydrant. The girl produced documents showing that she'd reported her car stolen a few days before the citation was issued... only to have the judge rule that her car having been stolen was no excuse - as the vehicle's owner, it was HER responsibility to see to the security of her car, which she had obviously failed to do. Pay the clerk in Room 101! Needless to say, I also paid the clerk in Room 101. Years later, I read of that judge's passing on to that big courtroom in the sky... and I and a few others raised celebratory glasses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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