Deja Vous Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 I am going back and forth with Dad over where to buy a home. I like Riverside, it is closer to my job so it is where I have been looking. He lives in the high desert, and so he wants me up there. I figure I could stop off at firends on my way home during the week, and drive down every Sun. and then a Sat. once in a while. Most Sat would be working on my home and his. The problem is the distance is 50 miles further one way, so a new car would be in order every few years. The home prices are 50-70,000 less so that would help with the cost of the car I guess. The thing is I work late often, and I spend time with friends who are like brothers and sisters to me now. My own all live in other states, busy with their children a grandchild so I rarely see them. But Dad I see a lot, but he is 91, well 92 in NOV this year. Last Sat. he would walk for about 5 minutes in the backyard and go sit down. So, I guess I could help him, but I am just not sure.. so I will be asking my best pal here what he thinks on Sunday when he isn't so busy. So until then I got ask my best pals on sass... Will I regret the move up the hill, or will I regret it if I don't do it. Thanks.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 50 miles each way to work, especially in traffic would drive me crazy. I just mapped out my commute at 17.4 miles each way, and generally traffic isn't too bad as the bulk seems to run the opposite direction that I am going. On the other side of that coin, you want to be as close to your dad as you can be right now. I can understand that. I guess maybe for me it would come down to time table, short term and long term goals and or expectations. One option would be not to buy now. I guess I tend to look at things logically, put each of the options on a spreadsheet, and list off pluses and minuses for each and see how they stack up against each other. Pretty much any way you go will be a compromise of some sort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Whiskers Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 I lived in another state for 32yrs before retiring and moving back home to Montana.That was in 2001.My Dad died in 2004.Do I regret moving back to be near my folks......NO.I got to spend a few years with my Dad before he went.He was 86.My Mother is 89 and still going strong.You can always move again when the time comes,but you can never recover the time lost being apart from loved ones.Just my outlook for what it's worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easy Emily SASS #73673 Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 I have no opinion on the driving as I drive to the families homes I work with. Often it is an hour or so away from home. My drive to the office right now is 1/2 an hour. I feel like I live in my car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wimpy Hank Yoho Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 I am going back and forth with Dad over where to buy a home. I like Riverside, it is closer to my job so it is where I have been looking. He lives in the high desert, and so he wants me up there. I figure I could stop off at firends on my way home during the week, and drive down every Sun. and then a Sat. once in a while. Most Sat would be working on my home and his. The problem is the distance is 50 miles further one way, so a new car would be in order every few years. The home prices are 50-70,000 less so that would help with the cost of the car I guess. The thing is I work late often, and I spend time with friends who are like brothers and sisters to me now. My own all live in other states, busy with their children a grandchild so I rarely see them. But Dad I see a lot, but he is 91, well 92 in NOV this year. Last Sat. he would walk for about 5 minutes in the backyard and go sit down. So, I guess I could help him, but I am just not sure.. so I will be asking my best pal here what he thinks on Sunday when he isn't so busy. So until then I got ask my best pals on sass... Will I regret the move up the hill, or will I regret it if I don't do it. Thanks.. Howdy Darlin' Deja, This will ultimately be Yours & His decision. For what it's worth. You know our Ma lived with us for the past 6 years plus. Our work was right here, and travel would have been out of the question for us and our work. Now our Ma' came and lived with us, and it was easier all around for Ma' and us too. I don't know if that might work better for You and Your dad, and/or Maybe He would Flat out say, No Way am I gonna' move.. Just a thought ? love Ya', Wimpy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denver Don Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 I am going back and forth with Dad over where to buy a home. I like Riverside, it is closer to my job so it is where I have been looking. He lives in the high desert, and so he wants me up there. I figure I could stop off at firends on my way home during the week, and drive down every Sun. and then a Sat. once in a while. Most Sat would be working on my home and his. The problem is the distance is 50 miles further one way, so a new car would be in order every few years. The home prices are 50-70,000 less so that would help with the cost of the car I guess. The thing is I work late often, and I spend time with friends who are like brothers and sisters to me now. My own all live in other states, busy with their children a grandchild so I rarely see them. But Dad I see a lot, but he is 91, well 92 in NOV this year. Last Sat. he would walk for about 5 minutes in the backyard and go sit down. So, I guess I could help him, but I am just not sure.. so I will be asking my best pal here what he thinks on Sunday when he isn't so busy. So until then I got ask my best pals on sass... Will I regret the move up the hill, or will I regret it if I don't do it. Thanks.. Wow thats a long drive... i thought is was Further hummmm well i can get ya a good deal on a house in Lucerne Valley, long drive for work maybe you and your dad could compromise and be half way between .... i myself like them little small towns outside of Riverside... like pedley, Loma Linda, Mira Loma, Although I was told they have changed since i was there last and i wouldnt like it .... I still have strong Connection to Mira Loma .... But as Someone Else Mentioned before in the end the Ultimate Decision is up to you! Did I Confuse you yet ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Long commutes take a toll on you after a while. Longest commute I ever had was 35 miles and I hated it! I was in a bad mood when I got to work and a bad mood when I got home. Good thing my moods don't last too long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodine Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 I'm with Bob, I spent the the last three years attending UCM, Warrensburg 68 miles one-way trip, five days a week going to classes. I hated it after the first three months. One hour ten minutes in good traffic conditions twice a day. Closer to where ya need to be everyday is better. I live over 90 miles from my dad and my mom lives in Arizona, so.... Anyhow, my vote would be for close to work. FWIW Bodine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckshot Frank Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Long commutes take a toll on you after a while. Longest commute I ever had was 35 miles and I hated it! I was in a bad mood when I got to work and a bad mood when I got home. Good thing my moods don't last too long. +1 The last time that we relocated, we decided to buy a house in the area that we wanted and not worry about the drive to work. I now spend about 2 1/2 hours per day commuting to work. It was fine for awhile, but it takes a lot out of you being away from home for 12 hours per day. We are now looking to move again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Original Lumpy Gritz Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Look at how many times the Cajon Pass is closed due to weather or a crash each yr. Then there is the weekend holiday traffic to LV etc. YOU sure you want to deal with that, and the LARGE number of STUPID drivers on that road? It gets old, real fast....... Respectfully, LG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wimpy Hank Yoho Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 I thought I'd bump this up, so Deja could see what we all is a thinkin' ?? Why Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 50 miles each way to work, especially in traffic would drive me crazy. I just mapped out my commute at 17.4 miles each way, and generally traffic isn't too bad as the bulk seems to run the opposite direction that I am going. On the other side of that coin, you want to be as close to your dad as you can be right now. I can understand that. I guess maybe for me it would come down to time table, short term and long term goals and or expectations. One option would be not to buy now. I guess I tend to look at things logically, put each of the options on a spreadsheet, and list off pluses and minuses for each and see how they stack up against each other. Pretty much any way you go will be a compromise of some sort. Thank I do value ou advice... and I am thinking about it.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 I lived in another state for 32yrs before retiring and moving back home to Montana.That was in 2001.My Dad died in 2004.Do I regret moving back to be near my folks......NO.I got to spend a few years with my Dad before he went.He was 86.My Mother is 89 and still going strong.You can always move again when the time comes,but you can never recover the time lost being apart from loved ones.Just my outlook for what it's worth. Part of my concerns is what I will miss for my life time.. I love my dad so much.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 I have no opinion on the driving as I drive to the families homes I work with. Often it is an hour or so away from home. My drive to the office right now is 1/2 an hour. I feel like I live in my car. Thanks Megs, while your post does not focus on family it does focus on the cost to you and family.. my concerns exactly.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 Howdy Darlin' Deja, This will ultimately be Yours & His decision. For what it's worth. You know our Ma lived with us for the past 6 years plus. Our work was right here, and travel would have been out of the question for us and our work. Now our Ma' came and lived with us, and it was easier all around for Ma' and us too. I don't know if that might work better for You and Your dad, and/or Maybe He would Flat out say, No Way am I gonna' move.. Just a thought ? love Ya', Wimpy Daddy lives a bit above my level.. lol... If he needed to move in I would of course do that..but he does not need much of anything except his time with his kids... I am the very youngest.. and he left when I was 12 and I am the most like him.. so we have a connection... But I would have to move in with him.. I have a carpaort he has 2 car garages stuffed with junk.. lol... and space.. I could never offer him.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey Business Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Maybe a compromise? Rental halfway between? Main priority is your dad. Find a middle ground that doesn't have a huge financial commitment or killer commute. Maybe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 Wow thats a long drive... i thought is was Further hummmm well i can get ya a good deal on a house in Lucerne Valley, long drive for work maybe you and your dad could compromise and be half way between .... i myself like them little small towns outside of Riverside... like pedley, Loma Linda, Mira Loma, Although I was told they have changed since i was there last and i wouldnt like it .... I still have strong Connection to Mira Loma .... But as Someone Else Mentioned before in the end the Ultimate Decision is up to you! Did I Confuse you yet ..... You did not confuse me.. I post this because i am confuse already.. lol... thanks for your advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 Long commutes take a toll on you after a while. Longest commute I ever had was 35 miles and I hated it! I was in a bad mood when I got to work and a bad mood when I got home. Good thing my moods don't last too long. gosh we are related?? lol.. A joke makes me melt .. lol.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 I'm with Bob, I spent the the last three years attending UCM, Warrensburg 68 miles one-way trip, five days a week going to classes. I hated it after the first three months. One hour ten minutes in good traffic conditions twice a day. Closer to where ya need to be everyday is better. I live over 90 miles from my dad and my mom lives in Arizona, so.... Anyhow, my vote would be for close to work. FWIW Bodine Thanks Bodine.. my pals and work are here.. family there.. tough.. and I do seem to ignore traffic... bothers me very little really.. But I don't like the finger.. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 +1 The last time that we relocated, we decided to buy a house in the area that we wanted and not worry about the drive to work. I now spend about 2 1/2 hours per day commuting to work. It was fine for awhile, but it takes a lot out of you being away from home for 12 hours per day. We are now looking to move again. So are you moving closer??? So it does matter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 Look at how many times the Cajon Pass is closed due to weather or a crash each yr. Then there is the weekend holiday traffic to LV etc. YOU sure you want to deal with that, and the LARGE number of STUPID drivers on that road? It gets old, real fast....... Respectfully, LG Good points Lumpys.. but I do have a good heart and I laugh a the "finger".. lol.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 I thought I'd bump this up, so Deja could see what we all is a thinkin' ?? Why "Thaks Wimps.. I was ont he phone with my sister in AZ.. course they all want me to move up by dad.. so you guys and my pals here like JJJ's will help me decide.. with a rational voice.. Thanks.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 Maybe a compromise? Rental halfway between? Main priority is your dad. Find a middle ground that doesn't have a huge financial commitment or killer commute. Maybe? Well, Whiskey closer to him is a very cheap housing expense.. lol.. The prices are cheap and he will help me... but the travel,and one other fraction is a step mom... while I do love her... she has her own kids.. and I never want to be look like I am looking for special treatment.. course I never have.. but the concern exists.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denver Don Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 I like the Compromise... the middle Ground and i like big bear ooops thats not the middle ..... well any way some where around middle ground...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 I like the Compromise... the middle Ground and i like big bear ooops thats not the middle ..... well any way some where around middle ground...... Got this thing for cabins.. so Big Bear has a romance with me... A sort of well I could have my place up there in the spring, summer, fall,.. and dads in the winter.. but then I have to settle for realtiy.. lol Maybe I am needed someplace else.. God seems to keep poking me.. lol to stay awake for some reason.. So, my guess is he has an adventure for me.. that is what keeps stopping me is I think God has this plan.. But I never seem to know what it is.. geesh.. So I am in limbo... I hope to wake up in 2012... God is great and my path . but I guess I need to decide at some point, huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denver Don Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Got this thing for cabins.. so Big Bear has a romance with me... A sort of well I could have my place up there in the spring, summer, fall,.. and dads in the winter.. but then I have to settle for realtiy.. lol Maybe I am needed someplace else.. God seems to keep poking me.. lol to stay awake for some reason.. So, my guess is he has an adventure for me.. that is what keeps stopping me is I think God has this plan.. But I never seem to know what it is.. geesh.. So I am in limbo... I hope to wake up in 2012... God is great and my path . but I guess I need to decide at some point, huh? well what part of the high desert is you r dad in .... lot of towns in the high desert ....Adventures are great! ... and figuring out the path God has Chosen ... can at time be an adventure all in its own ..... he confuses me alot ... but has helped me throgh a lot also.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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