Grizzly Dave Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 A bucket of ice water please, and keep them coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Jen Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 A bucket of ice water please, and keep them coming! Aunt Jen grabs a bucket of ice water from behind the counter and pours it all over Griz—who gasps in surprise and anger, but is then grateful. "Deja! We need your squirt guns! Griz is hot!" Aunt Jen yells, and Deja comes running across the yard, packing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 Hot I am, and living up to my first alias, which was grumpy grizzly I swear, people can not read, right by the front door, a big NO SOLICITING sign, knock knock knock. hello I am just trying to better myself by blah blah blah. Miz Grizz stands there listening. Finally I go up "oh the king of the castle is here" yup, and the king of the castle is shutting you down, we ain't got no money, good luck, bye bbye, but sir, I'm not selling anything its just points I have to earn by blah blah just a good karma kinda thing, good for you, good for me. "I don't beleive in Karma " says I, oh, well you beleive in God though right?" Yes I do, and we are done, good luck, close door. Ten minutes later, the phone rings, hello sit, we'd like to thank you for your generous donation last year (complete lie, we gave nothing) can we count on your support this year? "No, we are not in a position to contribute, thank you good bye take us off your list" I try to be polite, I really do, folks are just trying to eek out a living, but really, it drives me crazy. And then the stupid credit card companies, I must get 5 offers a day that have to be opened, recycled part of it, shredded part of it. ARRRRGGGGG!!!!! And then there is all the political talk, I swear next year I am going to go live in a cave, and come out only to vote and then go back. OK I might come out of the cave to go shoot too. Grrrrrrrizz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Jen Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 On solicitors at the door, God made hinges and also, thankfully, gave me elbows. I just shut the door. I have a sign at my front door that says, "No soliciting: We will never do business with anyone leaving papers here." It's universally ignored. I am amazed, sometimes, when I get someone from a protestant religious organization at my door, because I have a mezuzah there http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mezuzah (Not orthodox; just like it.) It matches the color scheme of the door/house area, there, but it's noticeable. I just don't think they notice or don't care. On soliciting by phone: (1) I don't generally give my real phone number out. Most companies don't call, anyway, so if they demand one, I give them a false number when they ask. (2) Silicitous phone calls rarely come to me, but when they do they generally come in the evening. My phone tells me the number. If I don't know it, I don't bother answering. I rarely get such calls, because they scratch me off their "maybe" list, I think. I had a patient one time who was a phone solicitor, and he told me how they worked.... On being HOT: Open windows, drink cool water, take clothes off, pour some of the water on... All fixed. If worse comes to worse, run around the neighborhood naked, and the cops will put you in the cooler! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pack Saddle Slim, SASS #73122 Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Yep. I know how you feel. The telephone solicitors always seem to call my place around supper time, too. That gets old pretty quick. I think I've found a way to minimize door-to-door solicitors, especially those zealots handing out the religious pamphlets on Saturday morning. I just say, "Sure, c'mon in. But could you give me a hand first? I'm out back sacrificing a goat and need somebody to hold the legs!" Haven't had any takers yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 I wonder if a gun port with a 50 cal barrel peeking out of it would dissuade them at all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Jen Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Yep. I know how you feel. The telephone solicitors always seem to call my place around supper time, too. That gets old pretty quick. I think I've found a way to minimize door-to-door solicitors, especially those zealots handing out the religious pamphlets on Saturday morning. I just say, "Sure, c'mon in. But could you give me a hand first? I'm out back sacrificing a goat and need somebody to hold the legs!" Haven't had any takers yet. :lol: Also, you could say, Sure! Just a sec! I have something on the stove. Just a sec! I'll be right back. Then go inside, close the door, and forget about 'em. I guess that would be mean? Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Hawk 60642 Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Ok, Deja...I got holdt of da firehose, turn it on... Let'er rip !!! AJ...roll Grizz into my field of fire....er.......icedwater !!!! I have a sign in my front yard that reads: "My dog can reach this point in 3.1 seconds............. Can you ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perro Del Diablo Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Had a friend that would invite them relegious guys on in sit a 6 pack on table and say let's talk. They didn't want to talk to him if he was drinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Kris Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Good luck with the temps, Grizz. Hope you get some relief soon. I had a door to door "preacher" turn out to be a home invasion team. {One keeps you busy at the door while another one or two enter your back yard or through a window.} My two Puppies, 125lbs and 80lbs scared them away. Now, unless it's someone I know, I don't open the door at all. I do the "No thank you" and walk away. One guy was really persistent until I brought the "puppies" in the house. A couple of barks and he left right quick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I wonder if a gun port with a 50 cal barrel peeking out of it would dissuade them at all? Or a "Solicitors Will Be Shot" sign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pack Saddle Slim, SASS #73122 Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Or a "Solicitors Will Be Shot" sign. You mean something like this? Sign Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 A fed friend of mine, (deputy U.S. Marshal) told me about a man who lived back off of the road. He had a 4'x 4' plywood target sitting at the gate to his property with a couple of 2 1/2" ragged holes inside the ten ring. A hundred yards further up the drive another "target" with a couple smaller holes closer to the center. Closer to the house a smaller target with an even better pattern and dead center. When you reached the porch there was a huge dog dish with portions of the plastic bitten out and a sign on the door that said something to the effect of the owner being a liscenced wolf trainer. There was an NRA sticker in the storm door window along with one for the Second Ammendment Foundation. My buddy the fed said the guy was really nice, and the two wolves were beautiful. He also said the two BATF guys that came with him would NOT get out of the car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Hawk 60642 Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Or a "Solicitors Will Be Shot" sign. And them that live will be hung !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 Off to the bunkhouse with me, have to be up early to take my baby girl to the airport. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EE Taft Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 My Dad's boss man from years back had a sign I'll never forget.......it read...... "We shoot every third salesman.........and the second one just left!" I kinda liked that one! ~EE Taft~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noz Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 On solicitors at the door, God made hinges and also, thankfully, gave me elbows. I just shut the door. I have a sign at my front door that says, "No soliciting: We will never do business with anyone leaving papers here." It's universally ignored. I am amazed, sometimes, when I get someone from a protestant religious organization at my door, because I have a mezuzah there http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mezuzah (Not orthodox; just like it.) It matches the color scheme of the door/house area, there, but it's noticeable. I just don't think they notice or don't care. On soliciting by phone: (1) I don't generally give my real phone number out. Most companies don't call, anyway, so if they demand one, I give them a false number when they ask. (2) Silicitous phone calls rarely come to me, but when they do they generally come in the evening. My phone tells me the number. If I don't know it, I don't bother answering. I rarely get such calls, because they scratch me off their "maybe" list, I think. I had a patient one time who was a phone solicitor, and he told me how they worked.... On being HOT: Open windows, drink cool water, take clothes off, pour some of the water on... All fixed. If worse comes to worse, run around the neighborhood naked, and the cops will put you in the cooler! Something on your house that identifies you as Jewish? Like waving a red flag at a bull for some of the religious bell ringers. What a coup that would be to convert you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt Jen Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Something on your house that identifies you as Jewish? Like waving a red flag at a bull for some of the religious bell ringers. What a coup that would be to convert you! Ah, well maybe so. But it just seems like gross lack of respect, to me. And why would I want to put up with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 We're too far out to get walk up salesmen. Once a car full of old church ladies saw me from the road and drove up to the barn. They were nice and I let them know gently that I wasn't interested. But 90% of the time if the phone rings,it's somebody selling air time, condos or a dang political ad. I never answer the phone anymore. That's what voicemail is for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I'm on the do not call lists, yet I still get the occasional solicitation call on my home phone which I find hilarious. "Mr. Flint, this is . . . " may be the way it starts. My response is "Who are you and where did you get this number?" My follow up is "Are you looking for Lt Colonel J. Mark Flint?" If I get a "Yes" then I have some more fun. "Colonel Flint was involved in a shooting recently, I need your name and number for the investigation." By then I have them ready to get the heck off the phone and it is time for payback. "If you hang up, I will be forced to send investigators to your location as this is being recorded." I haven't used my real name on the phone listing in years-makes it easy for SASS pards to find me and makes screening calls much more entertaining. and I have a nice list of names and numbers of telephone solicitors and their employers. If I ever get lonely, I have someone to call . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tennessee Stud, SASS# 43634 Life Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 We're too far out to get walk up salesmen. Once a car full of old church ladies saw me from the road and drove up to the barn. They were nice and I let them know gently that I wasn't interested. But 90% of the time if the phone rings,it's somebody selling air time, condos or a dang political ad. I never answer the phone anymore. That's what voicemail is for. Had some church wimmen from the Seventh Day Advintist (sp?) come up my drive... and I politely let 'em know I weren't interested. They drove back out the drive... a thousand feet out to the main road... up the road abit... and turned and drove up my woman's sister's driveway (my next door neighbor). The woman's sister was not home... and them wimmen saw me standin' out in my yard and walked across to see me.... just like they never had ever seen or talked to me before. Then I became un-nice with 'em... tole 'em: "You pesterin' wimmen... if'fn I wanted religion... my sorry a$$ would find it in a church house." Asked 'em this: "How many dam times do I have to explain it to you hard-heads?" Tole 'em they better not come back up that dam hill no more... to nobody's house up ourways. ts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Hawk 60642 Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 My Dad's boss man from years back had a sign I'll never forget.......it read...... "We shoot every third salesman.........and the second one just left!" I kinda liked that one! ~EE Taft~ I like dat one ! Mind if I barrow it ? Bottles, another bottle of Bulliet here !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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