Utah Bob #35998 Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 So I'm manning the VFW booth over in Mancos at their annual festival. We're raffling off a Browning 25-06 and a Mossberg 20ga. A guy walks up and asks how much the tickets are. "Five bucks apiece or five for Twenty bucks", sez I. I get a blank stare. I explain it again, a little slower. "Well that's no deal" he says. "Sure it is" I said, "You only buy four and you get a free one" "Free One?", His eyes were beginning to glaze over. "How do I get a free one?" "You just buy FOUR" for only twenty dollars I replied as pleasantly as I could, wishing I had a flip chart so I could draw him a picture. "But that's not free", he replies. I'm beginning to wonder if all they said about the limited gene pool in this town wasn't a joke. "Look I says" If you just buy one ticket, you can have your pick of either gun if you win. "How much?, he queries. Holding in a sigh and maintaining my poker face, I say "Why it's only five bucks!" "Well, that's cheaper than twenty". I couldn't disagree with him. "I'll have to find my wife", he says and melts into the crowd. I sat down and had a drink of water. I looked at my watch. It was only 10:15 and my shift went till 12:30. "It's going to be a long morning", I thought to myself. Maybe I'll go get some barbecue and curly fries. A few minutes later, the guy showed up, fin in hand and filled out a ticket, I wished him good luck as he wandered off toward the Knights of Columbus booth. They were raffling off a 92 and a Remington. As he approached their table, I wished them good luck too.
Red Logan #12252 Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 He has been watching the debate on the debt limit, and is a follower of Harry Reid...
Aunt Jen Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 So I'm manning the VFW booth over in Mancos at their annual festival. We're raffling off a Browning 25-06 and a Mossberg 20ga. A guy walks up and asks how much the tickets are. "Five bucks apiece or five for Twenty bucks", sez I. I get a blank stare. I explain it again, a little slower. "Well that's no deal" he says. "Sure it is" I said, "You only buy four and you get a free one" "Free One?", His eyes were beginning to glaze over. "How do I get a free one?" "You just buy FOUR" for only twenty dollars I replied as pleasantly as I could, wishing I had a flip chart so I could draw him a picture. "But that's not free", he replies. I'm beginning to wonder if all they said about the limited gene pool in this town wasn't a joke. "Look I says" If you just buy one ticket, you can have your pick of either gun if you win. "How much?, he queries. Holding in a sigh and maintaining my poker face, I say "Why it's only five bucks!" "Well, that's cheaper than twenty". I couldn't disagree with him. "I'll have to find my wife", he says and melts into the crowd. I sat down and had a drink of water. I looked at my watch. It was only 10:15 and my shift went till 12:30. "It's going to be a long morning", I thought to myself. Maybe I'll go get some barbecue and curly fries. A few minutes later, the guy showed up, fin in hand and filled out a ticket, I wished him good luck as he wandered off toward the Knights of Columbus booth. They were raffling off a 92 and a Remington. As he approached their table, I wished them good luck too. So, Utah! You said 5 for 4, but he only got one! Uh? (Kidding)
Utah Bob #35998 Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 So, Utah! You said 5 for 4, but he only got one! Uh? (Kidding) And it wasn't free.
Wahoo Kid Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 And it wasn't free. I saw that guy on the Darwin Awards!!
Bodine Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 At least he didn't ask for "just the free one" (that's what I always do!) Bodine
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Hey Bob, I found a ten spot in my pocket. What can I get?
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 At the Great Nor'easter we eliminated the confusion. 5 for $5, 20 for $20, 100 for $100. A math major. My OhD is in Computer Science though, those math guys were getting weird.
Utah Bob #35998 Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 At least he didn't ask for "just the free one" (that's what I always do!) Bodine I fully expected him to do that. Thank God he didn't!
Subdeacon Joe Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Sometimes you just gotta put on your best smile and be pleasant.
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 Hey Bob, I found a ten spot in my pocket. What can I get? Get a new cap for your fountain pen.
Aunt Jen Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 If I had my diplomatic hat on, I'd have probably said something like, "Tell you what: If you'll buy 4, I'll give you one for free. Just like that!" And if I didn't have my dip hat on, I might have said, "Just for you, tell you what: I'll give you five of them for the same you'd pay for a jug of moonshine over at your sister's/mother's house, minus the the inverse Blankenship coefficient of the astrimarker's foulcrish hagersheim over the nascent alcohol content on the third blue moon of the year."
Alpo Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 This kinda reminds me of back when the band was sellin' candy, to raise money. Big John (John marched in a blue suit, since we did not have a uniform big enough to fit him), one of the tuba players, had a nice spiel he used. "These Turtles chocolate candies are a dollar a box, two boxes for two dollars, or, tonight only, three boxes for three dollars." He had such a nice smile, and said that so convincingly, that he usually sold 'em three boxes.
Old Scatterbrain Posted July 31, 2011 Posted July 31, 2011 I hate those "buy three, get one free" tire ads. Why the hell would I buy three tires? On a (slightly) more serious note, my mother sells raffle tickets at her family reunion for a dollar a piece, or three for for five dollars. Done it for 30+ years.
Utah Bob #35998 Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 I bet he wins it, rot the luck! The drawing is Sept 6. I told him to sit by the phone. I wonder how long he will.
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