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How would you look at an awkward situation?


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MT, when asked about any more items, It might have been a good idea to ask him about his baseball collection.

One might have learned what was on his mind. Deception, trading up, serious money problems, you a source of money for him.

 

my 2 cents worth.

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Several months ago, I gave a friend boxfulls of basebal items, including signed baseballs, pictures signed, baseball cards, a signed Texas Ranger Nolan Ryan baseball cap, etc. At the time he said he collected baseball items but didn't have much of a start. Come to find out, he sold these items on different auction sites, including E-Bay. I let it slide, live and learn. This morning he stopped over for coffee and asked if I had other stuff I didn't want anymore. I said "No". I didn't say anything about knowing what he had done with the previous collection of stuff I had given him, and let go from there.

What would you have done? Kept quiet, or mentioned something that was over and done with. MT

Hi MT,

 

I'd file that person in the "life is too short to waste on jerks" category. Yes, a gift is yours to do as you wish with. The problem is his soliciting the "gift" under false pretences.

 

I'd have probably kept quiet when he asked if I had other stuff... Although, I'd be thinking, "I can sell my own stuff if I feel so inclined, you jerk."

 

Regards,

 

Allie Mo

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I can not think of a more American tradition than swapping, buying and selling baseball cards. If the cards were a gift with no strings attached I don't see the beef. Is it only a gift until it has value? I think the term here is "injun giver".

 

It seems that some of the pards are kicking themselves in the rear for not being bright enough to learn the value of the item before giving it away. (Not that I haven't done the same thing myself).

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Thanks for some good thoughts on this matter.

Again, yes they were a gift. But my thoughts, and his words at the time was he wanted these items for his collection, after seeing my collection, of which he knew about for years.

I knew the value of these items. Someone would have to be dense in not knowing a Nolan Ryan, Duke Snider, Joe DiMaggio autograph were not of value. Nor some of the cards I gave him from the 50s, and 60s.

I don't place a value on friendship, did not give these items to buy friendship, rather to show appreciation for our friendship, which has no price tag.

As to him selling these items, yes, it did bother me, since I was let to believe he wanted, and I gave, to further his collection. But I got over it immediately, since I gave, and they were his to do as he pleased.

What did get me, was asking for more. Knowing if I did, I would have without money.

As to his needs, he's very well off in income.

Will I say anything, now or in the future? Na-www! To be honest, this has happened before, giving stuff away. But I will be more cautious in the future.

Heck, I've given stuff away here, DVD re-corder, disks, I even gave away a Stoeger shotgun, and a Uberti .45 several years ago to a new shooter that didn't have any and needed a start. MT

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Thanks for some good thoughts on this matter.

Again, yes they were a gift. But my thoughts, and his words at the time was he wanted these items for his collection, after seeing my collection, of which he knew about for years.

I knew the value of these items. Someone would have to be dense in not knowing a Nolan Ryan, Duke Snider, Joe DiMaggio autograph were not of value. Nor some of the cards I gave him from the 50s, and 60s.

I don't place a value on friendship, did not give these items to buy friendship, rather to show appreciation for our friendship, which has no price tag.

As to him selling these items, yes, it did bother me, since I was let to believe he wanted, and I gave, to further his collection. But I got over it immediately, since I gave, and they were his to do as he pleased.

What did get me, was asking for more. Knowing if I did, I would have without money.

As to his needs, he's very well off in income.

Will I say anything, now or in the future? Na-www! To be honest, this has happened before, giving stuff away. But I will be more cautious in the future. MT

 

Good assessment. I think you knew this all along but just needed some verification. Good on you.

 

Charlie

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MT, the same kind of thing happened to me a few years ago. I have a next door neighbor, like me he's a NRA life member and collects a few "toys". I bought an over/under for $500. It would have been worth $1100 or $1200 but the stock had been refinished. It was professionally done and you could barely tell it was a refin, but it still brought the value down. I had planned to sell it for a couple hundred bucks profit, back then I bought and sold quite a bit to make money for more toys.

The neighbor spotted it in a cabinet and asked about it. From that moment on, he begged me to sell it to him for $500. Said it was what he'd dreamed of owning all his life. After a few days I broke down, and since it was something he wanted to keep I sold it to him for the $500. It was plainly stated that I was doing it because he wanted to keep it.

A few days later I saw a guy leaving the neighbor's house with the fancy case the shotgun came in. I looked in the paper and saw that he'd put a classified ad for the gun for $800. Obviously he'd sold it.

I didn't say anything. A few days later he asked what I'd done to kill a patch of onion grass in my yard. I told him I'd spray his onion grass like I did mine (he had a much bigger section of lawn over-run by onion grass). I sprayed his lawn and his onion grass died. He came over with a plate of cookies to thank me. I told him he could keep the cookies, but I wanted $150 for spraying his lawn. He asked if I was kidding and I said no. He went and got his checkbook and was pretty pissed off.

Finally I told him the $150 was really my half of the profit he'd made on "our" shotgun. He paid me and apologized.

 

I don't know why I took that course, but he's still my neighbor and we still get along great. I guess that's the end of the story...

 

Cassidy

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There is no "Beef". Yes, they were a gift, no strings attached. But I was let to think and with what he said, he wanted them for his collection, since he didn't have much. I didn't think he would turn around and sell the items, I even let him pick out items.

I just feel with him asking for more stuff, maybe a problem now knowing intentions. Trying to ride that off. MT

 

If I give something to someone I gave it because I knew they wanted to collect it. IF the come on hard times and sell it, or lose interest in it and sell it.. then that is cool, cuz I don't pay much attention anyhow.. lol... course here is the thing, I am not the best at gift giving... I try hard, but I don't please everyone.. so if they return it or sell it I pretty much ignore it.. In your case.. I guess if it bothered me.. I would simply not give again is all.

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I would have sent him into a back room to look at a few things, and while he waited I would have pissed in his coffee and then brought it to him. I would then proceed to go thru some expensive stuff and start laying it out as if I was going to give it to him, then I would say you can have all of this if you will bring me back the signed Nolan Ryan hat (or whatever) oh and is there something wrong with your coffee?

 

Finally, someone who thinks like me.

 

I would have told him that I had given him a signed Mickey Mantle Rookie Card, by mistake, and wanted it back. It was my Father's prize possession, and he had given it to me on his deathbed. Then let him squirm, and spend the rest of his life looking for that MM card.

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MT, the same kind of thing happened to me a few years ago. I have a next door neighbor, like me he's a NRA life member and collects a few "toys". I bought an over/under for $500. It would have been worth $1100 or $1200 but the stock had been refinished. It was professionally done and you could barely tell it was a refin, but it still brought the value down. I had planned to sell it for a couple hundred bucks profit, back then I bought and sold quite a bit to make money for more toys.

The neighbor spotted it in a cabinet and asked about it. From that moment on, he begged me to sell it to him for $500. Said it was what he'd dreamed of owning all his life. After a few days I broke down, and since it was something he wanted to keep I sold it to him for the $500. It was plainly stated that I was doing it because he wanted to keep it.

A few days later I saw a guy leaving the neighbor's house with the fancy case the shotgun came in. I looked in the paper and saw that he'd put a classified ad for the gun for $800. Obviously he'd sold it.

I didn't say anything. A few days later he asked what I'd done to kill a patch of onion grass in my yard. I told him I'd spray his onion grass like I did mine (he had a much bigger section of lawn over-run by onion grass). I sprayed his lawn and his onion grass died. He came over with a plate of cookies to thank me. I told him he could keep the cookies, but I wanted $150 for spraying his lawn. He asked if I was kidding and I said no. He went and got his checkbook and was pretty pissed off.

Finally I told him the $150 was really my half of the profit he'd made on "our" shotgun. He paid me and apologized.

 

I don't know why I took that course, but he's still my neighbor and we still get along great. I guess that's the end of the story...

 

Cassidy

Yikes!

 

That was totally crass on his part. I'm afraid, I would not have warm feelings for someone that "... begged me to sell it to him for $500. Said it was what he'd dreamed of owning all his life..." then immediately sold it. That was a blatent, self-serving lie on his part. I hope your payback taught him a lasting lesson about ethics.

 

Regards,

 

Allie Mo

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Sometimes folks just think in terms of what they want or think they need, or what they can get away with—a rather self-centered approach to things—instead of backing up a step and thinking about doing what is right or fair. Even good folks can get caught up in that. Good ones, though will only do it sometimes.

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A gift from a friend is sacrosanct IMO and kept forever. Then perhaps, if circumstances are appropriate, given back to heirs with the admonition that if they should ever need money you get first choice. What your "friend" did, and I'm sorry to say, was a cheapshot comparable to the coldest pawnbroker/grifter on earth. To paraphrase Cap'n Call "I hate deceit in a man...won't tolerate it."

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A gift from a friend is sacrosanct IMO and kept forever. Then perhaps, if circumstances are appropriate, given back to heirs with the admonition that if they should ever need money you get first choice. What your "friend" did, and I'm sorry to say, was a cheapshot comparable to the coldest pawnbroker/grifter on earth. To paraphrase Cap'n Call "I hate deceit in a man...won't tolerate it."

 

 

There is iron in your words of death for all Comanche to see, and so there is iron in your words of life. No signed paper can hold the iron. It must come from men.

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Flint and I both know Marshall Troop and we both know what a class act he is and some of you "cowboys" have some pretty harsh opinions but not knowing MT or all the circumstances I can understand where some of you might form an opinion but( I won't call any names) gee whiz a couple of you sure are quick to break a man's spirit when his feelings are already hurt because a friend has taken advantage of his kindness.

 

MT, I have two of these so called friends who owe me money and won't pay me because I made the age old mistake of loaning them money when they were down and out. I know how you feel. God bless you my good friend. I know what a good heart you have. I have no advise because I am one of you. And I am not asking for any either, I have learned my lesson.

See you at Ambush. :)

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