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Airliners


Aunt Jen

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Monday morning, a DC-10 (3 engines) took off from KLAX to KJFK with a full load of business travelers. Somewhere over Arizona, they were busily talking about impending presentations, copying services, mergers, ways to seek advancements, etc., when they felt a bump and grind out the left side of the plane. Smoke trailed out of the engine, there. Some people screamed. The ones who had seen "Airplane" formed a line to slap the screamers.

 

The pilot announced over the P.A.: "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I just thought I'd mention that the left engine has broken, but don't worry about it. We can still fly to New York; it'll just take us an extra hour and a half on two engines."

 

A passenger complained to the Flight Attendant, "No! No way! I've got a presentation to make an hour after our first arrival time! I won't make it, now!" The flight attendant offered him some peanuts, so he and the other passengers settled back into their discussions on effective marketing presentations, advertising campaigns, and office politics—when somewhere over Kansas they heard another huge bump and grind out the right side of the plane. Smoke trailed out the engine there, too.

 

"Hello, Ladies and gentlemen. This is the captain again. I just wanted to tell you, it's okay. The right engine has quit, also. But don't worry about it; we still have the engine on the tail, and we can fly with that, but it'll just take us an additional hour and forty-five minutes to get there as well...."

 

The same passenger complained loudly to the flight attendants, "Oh no! If we lose the third engine, we'll never get there!"

 

AJ

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And they'll be the first ones to the crash site!!

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NEVER EVER make the joke about how far the plane will go (all the way to the scene of the crash - Thank you Ron White)after the pilot announces that an engine has gone out. Flight attendants get very agitated and will threaten you with arrest once the plane actually lands.

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