Long Branch Louie Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 The ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER This one is a little different ...... Two Different Versions ..... Two Different Morals OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE OLD STORY: Be responsible for yourself! MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should beallowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving. CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green..' ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, We shall overcome. Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper's sake. President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight. Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by theGovernment Green Czar and given to the grasshopper. The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang ofspiders who terrorize and ramshackle, the once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood. The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2012 I've sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant! You may wish to pass this on to other ants, but don't bother sending it on to any grasshopper's because they wouldn't understand it, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el Gato Gordo - SASS #15162 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Bullhockey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Sounds about right GG ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hacker, SASS #55963 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Where is my can of RAID! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusty Balz, SASS#46599 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Sounds about right GG ~ +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Jake1001 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 God damn grasshoppers. Just sayin' Big Jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Ears Wilson, SASS #77948 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Funny... and scary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boss Hoss Fly #63711 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Be careful how you vote in 2012 I figger a lot voted the way they did in 2008 to prove they wer'nt a bigot- Hope in 2012 they vote to prove they got a dam BRAIN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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