Texas Phil Peeno #50923 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 A big, tall Texan was eating dinner in a local restaurant after a long day of sightseeing and tequila-sipping in Mexico City. He noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the table next to his. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, "Ah, senor, you have excellent taste. Those are bull's testicles from the bullfight this morning. A delicacy!" The Texan, although momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation. Bring me an order!" The waiter replied, "I am so sorry, senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bullfight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy." The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and while inspecting the contents of his platter, he called the waiter over and said, "These are delicious, but they are much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday." The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, senor, sometimes the bull wins." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EE Taft Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or throw up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judge Roy Stone Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Love it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mean Matt McCord, SASS #24683 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 And they say size doesn't matter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Phil DeGrave SASS #55202 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 So what happened to the weener of the bullfight? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Oysters By Baxter Black The sign upon the Café wall said ‘Oysters, 50 Cents’ “Oh my,” the blue eyed sweetheart said with some bewilderment, “I didn't know they had such fare out here upon the plain!” “Oh sure,” her cowboy date replied, “we're really quite urbane!” “I'd guess they're Chesapeake or Blue Point, don't you think?” “Uh, no ma'am, they're mostly Hereford cross, and usually they're pink. “But I've been cold, so cold myself, what you say just might be true, “and if a man looked close enough, the points just might be blue!” “I like to gather them myself,” she said, “out on the bay alone. “I pluck them from the murky depths and smash them with a stone!” The cowboy winced, as he imagined her with a little calf beneath, “Me,” he said, “I use a pocket knife and yank them with my teeth.” “Oh my,” she said, “you animal! How crude and unrefined! “Your masculine assertiveness sends shivers up my spine! “I like to use a butcher knife too dull to really cut, “I like to wedge it in between and crack them like a nut. “I pry them out, if they resist, sometimes I use the pliers, “Or even grandpa's pruning shears, whatever it requires!” The hair stood on the cowboys neck, his stomach did a whirl, He'd never heard such grisly talk, especially from a girl. “I like mine fresh,” the sweetheart said as she laid her menu down, and ordered oysters for them both, when the waiter came around. The cowboy smiled gamely, though her words stuck in his craw, Then he finally fainted dead away, when she said, "I'll have mine RAW!" * * * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 .... well, ..... there's oysters ..... ..................... an' then there's seafood ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Kris Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 The first time I encountered the non-seafood oysters was at a wedding reception. They were serving them ground, seasoned, breaded and fried up as burgers. They didn't mention what kind of burger I was eating at the time. I was a "city girl from L.A.", new to country life in rural Missouri. Most of the room knew I was a city girl so they started watching as I took my first bite. Wow, it was really good!! I'd never tasted meat like that before. Giggling began to permeate the room. When I asked the gentleman next to me what kind of meat that was, he turned a little red faced and explained it to me. A hush fell over the room. I took a deep breath, said "Oh" and nervously put the burger down, not quite sure what to think of it. The gentleman asked "well aren't you going to finish your burger". I said "In a little bit" and started a conversation with the woman on the other side of me, who was trying really hard not to laugh. Eventually, everyone turned their attention to the rest of the guests at their tables and the reception went on. {I did eventually finish the burger.} BTW - The wedding reception was mine from my first marriage. The "gentleman" was my first husband. The woman on the other side was the maid of honor, a friend of my husband's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Hawk 60642 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I've had Rocky Mountain Oysters every change I git ! Man.....Dem's so good !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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