Thread about tattos got me thinking

[Finagler 6853 Life]

Stop me if you heard this one.

 

A woman goes to a tattoo parlor. She loves Elvis (you can insert your favorite cowboy if you like) but is too demure to have a tattoo that whole world can see so she decides to get a tattoo of Elvis place in a "descreet" place along the inside of her thigh. She goes to the "shop", tells the "artist" what she wants and he tells her no problem. She pays the man, has the work done she looks at it and says it doesn't look like Elvis. He tells her that it may not look correct now but there is some swelling and after the swelling goes down it will look just like Elvis. Wait a week. She is satisfied with that explanation but after a week the "art" does not look like Elvis, in her mind. She goes back to the shop and confronts the "artist" telling him that she is not happy with his work and wants her money back. The "artist" asks to examine the work and after doing so says that there may be some distortion but he thinks it still looks like Elvis but to make her happy he offers to do another "Elvis" on her other inner thigh at no charge. She is somewhat placated by this offer and the two of them proceed to put another tattoo on. Again the "artist" tells her to wait until the swelling goes down and she should have a perfect "Elvis" to enjoy. She waits a week but the second tattoo doesn look any more like Elvis than the first one does.

 

She goes back to the tatto parlor and really lights into this guy about the crummy work he does. In his defence he tells her that he is going to pick the first person off the street to get their opinion and if it doesn't look like Elvis to them then he will refund her money. He steps outside and the only person around is a drunk staggering down the street. The "artist" grabs the drunk and steers him into the shop, sets him down between the womans legs and says to him, "tell me who those tattoos look like." The drunk looks at one side then weaving back and forth looks at the other side all the while trying to get his eyes to focus. Finally the drunk says, "I don't know who the guy on the right is supposed to be and I don't recognize the guy on the left but the guy in the middle looks like Willie Nelson."

[Alpo]

Tattoos are wondrous things. I can't think of why I haven't ever gotten any. Oh yeah, I remember.

 

http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b67/therealalpo/Cartooncrazyoldfarts.png

 

http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b67/therealalpo/TattooCartoonnotattoosboardfriendly.jpg

[Dorado]

I have a friend that went in to get one of those Japanese Kanji symbols inked on and ask for the words "Strength and Loyalty" printed down his back. Afterwards he came over to show it off but one of our Japanese buds started laughing and told him that he got "I am a horse's a$$" instead.