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Yellowhouse Sam # 25171

Baptist Cowboy

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The Baptist Cowboy

 

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and

orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a

sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar

and orders three more.

 

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes

flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

 

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in

Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in

Texas , we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank

together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for

myself."

 

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

 

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same

way.He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

 

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take

notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second

round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to

offer my condolences on your loss."

 

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his

eyes and he laughs.

 

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife

and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

"Hasn't affected my brothers though."

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Baptist Category!

 

Where is Birdgun?

 

Not sure where Birdgun is, but I'll chime in. :)

 

This is an OLD joke. But like all good old jokes, it's worth repeating now and again.

 

As the son, grandson, and I believe, great grandson, of Baptist deacons, I can honestly say that I do find this funny. :)

 

As far as the so called "Baptist Category" goes, I still think that there should be a requirement that to shoot the category, you carry a Scofield. As well as a Schofield.

 

Every good Baptist will understand that reference. (And that one too!)

 

But we don't talk about how old Cyrus was a Congregationalist. (Or divorced!)

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Well now, H.K. you set me straight here. I thought that the Baptist Category was strickly a dress code

where in everybody brings a covered dish for after the match. If it were an Episcopalian Category, we would be required to bring a bottle of wine, finger foods and to spend at least an hour in animated conversation. :)

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I thought that a cross-draw was prohibited in the Baptist Category, so people wouldn't confuse the cross-draw twist for dancing.

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Guest Tennessee Stud, SASS# 43634 Life

Ya'll got the wrong idea...

 

It ain't that Baptists don't drink none...

 

They just gotta do it outside their hometowns.

 

BTW... still lookin' fer that scripture and verse...

 

ts

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Ya'll got the wrong idea...

 

It ain't that Baptists don't drink none...

 

They just gotta do it outside their hometowns.

 

BTW... still lookin' fer that scripture and verse...

 

ts

 

Reminds me of a joke about always inviting two Baptists over...

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When some of y'all come to see the light and get properly baptized, I hope I'm the one who baptizes you 'cause some of y'all need to be held under for a very l-o-o-o-ng time. ^_^;):P

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Ya'll got the wrong idea...

 

It ain't that Baptists don't drink none...

 

They just gotta do it outside their hometowns.

 

BTW... still lookin' fer that scripture and verse...

 

ts

 

If you are looking for chapter and verse that says don't drink, their ain't one. But, I can give you chapter and verse that indicates that Jesus would occasionally drink wine...

 

Matthew 11:18-19 For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, He hath a devil. The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say, Behold a man gluttonous, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. But wisdom is justified of her children.

 

Take it for what it's worth. Personally, I never touch the stuff, I find that it does not taste good.

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When some of y'all come to see the light and get properly baptized, I hope I'm the one who baptizes you 'cause some of y'all need to be held under for a very l-o-o-o-ng time. ^_^;):P

 

I was Baptised by my father. He was never short on words when he preached. When he put me under I could just hear him telling the congregation how it was a proud day for him and how he had looked forward to that moment etc. There I was being held under for what seemed to be a very long time.

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When some of y'all come to see the light and get properly baptized, I hope I'm the one who baptizes you 'cause some of y'all need to be held under for a very l-o-o-o-ng time. ^_^;):P

 

In my case I think his arm might get tired first, and I had better have some SCUBA handy

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"I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, amen."

 

I have personally witnessed preachers who perform the dunk after saying this, while saying this, usually putting the person being baptized under during the "and of the Son" part, and putting them under and saying the whole thing while submerged.

 

I never really liked the last method. You gotta say it really fast, and it seems rushed to me.

 

I also recall one fellow for whom, since he was an elderly gentleman, they had set the water much warmer than usual. As he stepped into the water, he bellowed out, "It's HOT!" Then, when it came time to baptize him, he started muttering, "It's too hot..." and he struggled with the person baptizing him, cuz, well, it was too hot. In the end, he had to be tripped to get him under.

 

It was very strange.

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When my wife was a young women in her early twenties, she put a rubber snake in the baptistry. Pastor George didn't see the snake until he was more than half way into the water. The congregation witnessed a miracle. :o Brother George was somehow lifted up and over the front glass, landing in the choir loft. :D

 

The baptisms for that Sunday morning were postponed.

 

The preacher didn't find out until several years later how that rubber snake got on the floor of the baptistry. Brother George almost refused to marry us because he claims he aged ten years that day. Baptist preachers sometimes exaggerate. ^_^

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