stepnmud#33546 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 my eighteen year old son and very soon to graduate from high school. He don't have a car or a job, not a bad thing, but on weekends he just goes out with friends and tells where he's going. Doesn't bother me much but mom seems like it's a concern. He's a good kid and easy to keep up with. I don't think I asked for permission to do as I pleased when that age and was pretty much self regulated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 It depends on the kid. Some may be ready for it at 13, others not until 30 (if then). That said, if you are paying their way, you should have some say if you think it necessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashpowder Hal Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Like already stated, every kids different, An so are parents. My kids grew up knowing: 1. After graduating HS (and being 18), you go to college OR get a job and move out on their own. 2. They reported where and with whom they'd be with. 3. They'd be in by 11pm. 4. NO drinking, smoking or drugs (once you move out, it's your butt). Oldest kid is now 40, never been arrested and good job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gabby the frog 21716 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 when they learn to put gas in car before its empty gabby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 When she's no longer living under my roof. Until then, my house, my rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big50 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 My wife and I are blessed with two children. Our oldest, Eric, is 38 now. Our daughter will be 34 this year. As long as they lived under our roof we asked them to follow some pretty simple rules. (This is after they have each gotten a driver's license) 1. Please let one of us know where you are AND WHEN YOU EXPECT TO BE HOME. 2. If something changes, please let us know as soon as possible, like your location, your ETA home. 3. If you are not going to be here for supper make sure your momma knows, at least AN HOUR IN ADVANCE OF NORMAL MEAL TIME. Both of ours were/are great people. Never really had any issues with them on these rules but we started very early with each of them teaching them that "rules are rules" and if you break a rule you will get punished for it. No reprieves or "next times" So they have always been very good about following "the" rules. Eric has three girls and one granddaughter. He is teaching them the same rules. Elizabeth (our daughter has three sons and a daughter and she is going by the same rules with them as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 18 is a good age to give some freedom, after all, it's basically already theirs. BUT, as long as they are living under your roof, and driving your cars, they should be accountable to you to some extent. Heck, I don't care who it is, or how old they are, if they're staying at my house I expect them to let me know of their comings and goings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Talk it over with your wife and try to come to an agreement. People, attitudes, and families are different. I stopped listening to advice on my son when he was 12. Everybody was an expert. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easy Emily SASS #73673 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 When my oldest was 18 and still in high school he had a curfew. He pretty much followed it and actually did not go out much. Once he graduated he still had one but it did get later. The only time the curfew lifted was when he started paying us rent, and then he did not abuse it. He is 22 and lives on his own now. The younger one rarely went out and is not out on his own in the Air Force. I did greet both boys each time they got home with a hug. I hav never asked them if they knew I was hugging them goodnight so I could sniff if they had been drinking or smoking. They were/are good boys either that or just knew how to hide it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Shoer 27979 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I'm 52 and my mom say I still need some adult supervision, maybe my 20 year old can give me some :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badlands Bob #61228 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 When both of mine left for college, they were expected to grow up. They both stayed on campus so it was kind of hard for us to tuck them in at night. During high school, they had a curfew and were required to keep us posted on their comings and goings. And they BETTER answer that cell phone when their Momma calls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 My daughter, age 43 now, was "grown" and responsible at 14. My son, now age 45....it's taken him longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Original Lumpy Gritz Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 SIMPLE, It's is YOUR house RIGHT? Then it's YOUR rules. PERIOD IF, they think it should be ANY other way, then it's time for them to move out, get a job, buy a home, buy a car, and prove YOU wrong Cheers, LG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Hawk 60642 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 To answer yur question..... 18 years old. Ifin' dey choose to live at home, den they'll have to git a job and pay some kind of rent. Ifin' not....GIT OUT !!! My Dad told me dat when I was 16 !!! So I went out and made my bed under a bridge nutill I found my self in Del Rio, TX !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Actually he sounds like me in HS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Duncan Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 When they pay (with their earned money) for their lodging, food AND expenses Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 my eighteen year old son and very soon to graduate from high school. He don't have a car or a job, not a bad thing, but on weekends he just goes out with friends and tells where he's going. Doesn't bother me much but mom seems like it's a concern. He's a good kid and easy to keep up with. I don't think I asked for permission to do as I pleased when that age and was pretty much self regulated. I think times have changed. When I was young I wanted to be out on my own so I could stay out past 10, listen to music past 8 PM, and wear the stuff I liked to wear. I love my dad, but being out on my very own was an exciting thought to me. Turns out it was nothing to be so excited about, Dad still checked on me.. lol.. And today, Dad is 91, he will be 92 in Nov.. and I am still his Baby.. When I am at his home I do exactly what he tells me to do. And I still call him for advice, if I am hurting, if I am happy... heck I just call him.. lol.. So t he answer is you children will always be your kids. They move out and move on when they want to run their own lives, but you will never stop worrying about them. And your kids will never stop loving, trusting and wanting to be just like you.. like I feel to this day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Steel Duke Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 The old joke says that the Jewish culture considers the fetus a human life when it graduates from medical school! BSD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Just a memory that's sort of related. After I got married and was getting ready to report to APG, MD Dad told me that we were always welcome visit as often as we wanted and stay as long as we wanted. Then he said "You don't want to visit more than twice a year and you don't want to stay over three or four days." And that's how it was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Well - an 18 year old is an adult and should be able too freely come and go ~ however, anyone regardless of age living at the parents home must follw the rules of the home So it depends on the rules I guess GG ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocDisaster # 45431 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 My son is 24 and still lives at home he has a good job and operates his own business. He is extremely responsible and very respectful, of course I would expect and demand nothing less. He still tells us where he is going, who he is going with and when he is expected home. My daughter is 26 she now lives in Ga, she is a student, works and is a MA3 in the Navy Reserve it took her a little longer to mature than it did my son, at 18 he was a mature responsible adult, it took my daughter till about 24 to reach maturity. Now me on the other hand I finished high school at 16 got a fulltime job and was going to college 3 nights a week, I was living at home and always told my parents where I was going, who I was going with and when I would be home. I turned 18 in June bought my first home, got married in August and moved away. Maturity is dependent on the individual.... Doc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Rusty Bore SASS#22739 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 To make a short story long! Oldest daughter (20) had moved back in with us for the second time. Rules were she was free to come and go but we wanted the courtesey of knowing where and how late she would be home. Well she didn't want to hold up to the agreed upon rules and we had a pretty good argument early one morning and she flatly stated she was an adult and could do what she wanted as there was no reason for us to worry about her. Early one saturday morning I rolled over in bed and asked Momma if Stacey was home yet. Yes about 4 a.m. I said! I asked Momma what we were doing that day. Nothing she said. I asked if she wanted to take a day trip to Amana colonies, to which she agreed to. Momma got ready and asked if I was going to wake Stacey so she could come with. No! I said I only asked you! Then wake her up and tell where we are going and when we will be back. No! I again told her. "She doesn't need feel a need to tell us when she leaves, I don't need to tell her!" Well 11 o'clock that evening we got home. As the garage opened daughter was standing on the steps arms folded across her chest as she started chewing us out. "Where have you been all day! You didn't tell me you were leaving you didn't leave a note about when you would be home! I was worried sick about you!" As we walked pass Stacey in mid rant Momma announced " we are adults we can do what we want! From that day on my daughter never left home without telling us where she was going and when she would be home! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Hawk 60642 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Well, it's kinda like what Dad said to me..... "Boy, don't fret none. You'll be comin' back soon...... And you'll be brin' more wif ya to boot !!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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