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Wildlife is dangerous


Subdeacon Joe

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Be careful out there.

 

A herd of 60 elk stormed the Mount Hood National Forest headquarters earlier this week, upending tables and chairs and breaking several doorways before devouring a platter of heart-shaped vegan cookies. "I thought at first global warming had pushed them off the mountains," said Forest Supervisor Chris Wart, "but then I realized they were headed straight for the cookies. It really burns my britches. Those cookies were meant to calm hippie activists at our road-planning open house."

 

The herd zigzagged through the meeting just as the hapless supervisor was explaining why building a new road across the forest would have little impact on the ungainly ungulates. Hippie activist Kale Bird, apparently agitated by the lack of heart-shaped vegan cookies, pledged to fight the road until the bitter end. The elk, a management indicator species on the forest, deposited their numerous comments on the road proposal in pellet form before hoofing it home.

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I remember when I was 18 years old and suffering from the same problem he had.

 

I wouldn't have been very friendly toward fences and snowmen either.

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In responce to da muderous attack I just wittnessed, I offer my skills to shoot down that critter...

 

Eat of it's flesh..

 

Tan it's hide...

 

And make a shirt out of him !! ;)

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