Not all Seniors are Senile

[Mean Matt McCord, SASS #24683]

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store on Friday evening with a beautiful, much younger woman at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

 

The man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."

 

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

 

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, "By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon."

 

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said, "There's no money in that account!"

 

"I know," said the old man, "But let me tell you about my great weekend..."

[Texas Man]

Loved that one.

Some years ago we were doing a job on a parking lot on a Sunday morning when we noticed an older man throwing clothes and boxes of shoes and a jewerly box into a dumpster some distance away. Next thing I know my employees are no where around and then I see the tops of their heads in the dumpster as they hand items out to others on the ground and watch as they make trips to there cars with the loot.

A few hours later here comes the same new blue Mercedies again and I watch as the same old man and a pretty young little thing dressed in a mini-skirt and heels walk to the dumpster and the old man climbs the ladder and looks inside the dumpster as she stands close by. He looks and looks and I hear him tell her "I know this is where I put it Honey" and the young sweet thing tells him "Well if You cant find my things You are taking me to the mall right now or You can take me home and I never want to see you again". I watch his face as it hits him that this is going to cost him dearly and I hear him say "Oh yes my dear, Anything You want all you have to do is ask and Daddy will get it for You You know that". I was laughting so hard I was almost in tears as they drove off. The dudes working for me had scored big time.

 

Texas Man