Charlie Harley, #14153 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Dear SASS Family The last fifteen months has been an odyssey. December 14, 2009 I lost my job for all the wrong reasons. My conscious is clear about what I did and didn't do, but it didn't change the fact that I was unemployed. 'Nuff said on that topic. The only comparable job I could find was in western Tennessee. My wife and kids stayed in Cincinnati so our son could finish high school and then we'd meet up in Spring 2011. We figured I'm not the first husband who left home for a while to support his family, and I was grateful to have a job of any fashion. There's not enough space to share all the twists and turns. Just know that the odyssey is coming to a close with Susan preparing to move to Tennessee very soon. I've shared bits along the way and folks in the Saloon have been faithful to pray. God has been faithful to answer, even when the answer sometimes was "Wait on My time." With the hindsight we're all blessed with, I looked back on the last fifteen months and wrote down a short list of lessons learned. I have been through enough hard times to know that it is in the hard times that life's greatest lessons are taught. I'm still processing all the lessons, but here is a list I'd like to share with my SASS family. Things I’ve Learned In The Last Year….. God is God, and He’s smarter than I am. For this I am very grateful. If events had gone the way I tried to force them, I'd have really messed things up. I genuinely like my wife’s companionship. My world is better because she is a part of it. When she’s not a part of it, my world is less than better. Lunch with friends is important. I went over a year and not a single co-worker asked me to have lunch with them. I sometimes forced my way into their lunch circles. It wasn't the same. Next time around, I’m going to invite people into my lunch circles. Life can be lived deliberately, with sometimes amazing outcomes. Habits, routine, and comfort are nice, but can be ordinary. Stuck in strange towns as a geographic bachelor left me with no habits or rhythms to lean on. By deliberately deciding to go out and do things, even if they seemed silly or out of the ordinary, led to some really neat adventures. I want to use people’s names more often. After a month in western Tennessee, I went to the local YMCA where I'd visited a few fitness classes. Carmen, the teacher, hollered out “Hey Dan! Get your butt in here! We’ve missed you!” I had to look away ‘cause I was embarrassed that such a simple act of kindness made a difference that evening. I want everybody to know that they’re missed by somebody. Dinner with friends is important. Dinner with family is important. There’s no greeting in the world that can beat your dog waiting on the porch, getting all tense when she sees you, wagging her tail, raising a paw, and then leaping down four steps at once to spring into your arms. Dinner by yourself is sad. I don’t want people to eat alone. When visitors come to my new employer for a few days, my wife and I will invite them to our house for dinner. Fitness programs are only as successful as the friends you share them with. Did I mention that I like my wife? Thank you all for listening, and for being a part of my world. I hope I can put as much into your world as each of you has imparted to mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Foolery U.S.M. #2348 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I can't imagine going through all that. Sounds like you've got a good family. If you ever come through the L.A. area, we'll have lunch TF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Wisdom, Charlie, is good when shared. Thank you for sharing...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bucky Buscadero, SASS #73085 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Charlie, Sounds like your trials and tribulations have made you a wiser man. You bucked up and persevered and learned things along the way. Money can't buy that sort of experience. Stay positive and the best to you and yours! Bucky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin Gun For Hire Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Charlie, HE is wise and having a loving wife as your partner is next. Those two will carry you through anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Charlie, I think I said this to you before but, welcome to you and yours from us folks in Tennessee! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey Business Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Charlie, A good man does what is necessary to support his family, even though painful. But it will be over soon, and you'll be with your wife and family everyday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deja Vous Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Dear SASS Family The last fifteen months has been an odyssey. December 14, 2009 I lost my job for all the wrong reasons. My conscious is clear about what I did and didn't do, but it didn't change the fact that I was unemployed. 'Nuff said on that topic. The only comparable job I could find was in western Tennessee. My wife and kids stayed in Cincinnati so our son could finish high school and then we'd meet up in Spring 2011. We figured I'm not the first husband who left home for a while to support his family, and I was grateful to have a job of any fashion. There's not enough space to share all the twists and turns. Just know that the odyssey is coming to a close with Susan preparing to move to Tennessee very soon. I've shared bits along the way and folks in the Saloon have been faithful to pray. God has been faithful to answer, even when the answer sometimes was "Wait on My time." With the hindsight we're all blessed with, I looked back on the last fifteen months and wrote down a short list of lessons learned. I have been through enough hard times to know that it is in the hard times that life's greatest lessons are taught. I'm still processing all the lessons, but here is a list I'd like to share with my SASS family. Things I've Learned In The Last Year….. God is God, and He's smarter than I am. For this I am very grateful. If events had gone the way I tried to force them, I'd have really messed things up. I genuinely like my wife's companionship. My world is better because she is a part of it. When she's not a part of it, my world is less than better. Lunch with friends is important. I went over a year and not a single co-worker asked me to have lunch with them. I sometimes forced my way into their lunch circles. It wasn't the same. Next time around, I'm going to invite people into my lunch circles. Life can be lived deliberately, with sometimes amazing outcomes. Habits, routine, and comfort are nice, but can be ordinary. Stuck in strange towns as a geographic bachelor left me with no habits or rhythms to lean on. By deliberately deciding to go out and do things, even if they seemed silly or out of the ordinary, led to some really neat adventures. I want to use people's names more often. After a month in western Tennessee, I went to the local YMCA where I'd visited a few fitness classes. Carmen, the teacher, hollered out "Hey Dan! Get your butt in here! We've missed you!" I had to look away 'cause I was embarrassed that such a simple act of kindness made a difference that evening. I want everybody to know that they're missed by somebody. Dinner with friends is important. Dinner with family is important. There's no greeting in the world that can beat your dog waiting on the porch, getting all tense when she sees you, wagging her tail, raising a paw, and then leaping down four steps at once to spring into your arms. Dinner by yourself is sad. I don't want people to eat alone. When visitors come to my new employer for a few days, my wife and I will invite them to our house for dinner. Fitness programs are only as successful as the friends you share them with. Did I mention that I like my wife? Thank you all for listening, and for being a part of my world. I hope I can put as much into your world as each of you has imparted to mine. Charleys, you and your wife are my heros. Every time I read one of your posts I am again heartened with the belief that marriages can last forever, and people fight harder together then alone in the face of misfortune. . There are times when you can not stay in a marraige, but most people just give up, they never talk about it, but instead abandon a good marriage to find out that they now miss what they had. Yours has survived some of the hardest times, and you both worked so hard to get it all back on track. Know that you give a lot of people hope in humanity, God, Love, Work, Children.. and life as a whole. I wish the very best to happen to you now.. you have sure had enough! While I may never have the times you have in my life ever again, did once and he passed away.. anyhow... I love ready your stories.. you kind give me my disney in a box... That means it warms my heart, makes me laugh and I hold my breath all at the same time... God Bless you, God love you... and I hope he gives ya a little extra blessing this year! DV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EE Taft Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Charlie, Greetings to ya, Sir. Sounds like it has been a rough time indeed, and yet you hold your head high and through it all you enjoy the love of a good wife and family. You've learned to never take them for granted and to always be true to them............ You are wise,..........and you are blessed......... But I bet you already know that, don't cha? Give that family of yours a big hug from our family. God Bless. ~EE Taft~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Bravo Charlie! Great life lessons! I'm glad to hear that you will be with your wife soon. Sincerely, Allie Mo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Nelson #19958 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Thanks Charley Harley, I have recently lost my profession, it was the best thing that ever happened to my disposition, worst thing to the pocketbook. All my degrees mean next to nothing now as I will never rejoin that segment of the workforce. Let's just say that working in the private sector is much more enjoyable than the public sector. Your tips on starting over were very valuable to me, particularly since I am virtually 100% sure I will be employed out of town, my current job is being relocated and at least for the next few years, we aren't likely to move due to my wife's employment. I feel much more 'included' now than I am accustomed to and will try harder to reciprocate and 'unlearn' the past 19 years of being the odd man out. Doc Nelson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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