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You Know You're in a Redneck Church if......


Caliope Cupcake #13981

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... when the preacher does not remove the Marlboro from his lips before calling the Devil a butt-head.

 

... when there is a spitoon attached to the offering plate.

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True story:

 

When I was a teenager, I and my cousins were at the Guymon First Baptist Church in Guymon, Oklahoma, for Sunday morning services. The church service at the time was broadcast live over a local radio station. The time of the year was during the wheat harvest and the minister of music exhorting the farmers to remember it was Sunday. Here is what the minister of music said:

"Let me encourage all you farmers to get down off your concubines and go to church."

 

Nobody laughed...the congregation was stone silent...but my cousins and I were about to burst!

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Birdgun: I've often wondered that if concubines were good enough for King David and King Solomon to have, then why is it soooooo wrong for me to have a bunch hanging around? :o:o:D

 

 

..........Widder

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Birdgun: I've often wondered that if concubines were good enough for King David and King Solomon to have, then why is it soooooo wrong for me to have a bunch hanging around? :o:o:D

 

 

..........Widder

Ask your wife. :ph34r:

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.....when evening services are cancelled because Charlie Daniels is giving a concert at the local coliseum.

 

 

.....when the sign reads: 'Trucks Only. Cars have to park in the rear'.

 

 

.....when Jerry Lee Lewis is special guest during revival 'music night' and introduced as 'The Killer'.

 

 

..........Widder

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Wen beun warsht in tha blood iza reel gud thang, az iz covert en tha blood!

 

Whar yu no wut "my ritegunous iz az filthy rags" meens. an u no wut wuz ment bi filthy rags.

 

Cheyenne, wu haz bin warsht en tha blood and iz covert en tha blood, culpepper

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