Gateway Kid SASS# 70038 Life Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 27. When you yell, GO FETCH, the dog doesn't move off the porch but your cousin, eh your sister, eh your wife, brings you another beer. And that is all the same person Regards Gateway Kid
Blastmaster Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Do they make cammo spandex?????????? Burn this on your brain.....Cammo Spandex Thong on a 300 pounder..
Yak Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBocef6iQps&feature=related Check this out
EE Taft Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 people of walmart Well I figured since I have been know to frequent the Wally World in my cowboy clothes that I might show up on there, so I searched missouri in the browser at the top of the page.......nothin'!! Then I typed COWBOY.......... Weren't me, but about two or three pics down (maybe four, but I'm sure you'll spot him) I found a feller that looks like he could be one of us!! Check it out!!
Cavedog Calhound, SASS #21012 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 If you think a 7 course meal is a 6 pack and a balony sandwich. CC
EE Taft Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Taft, I'm betting that is one of us! I bettin' too! He certainly has the look. Of course I did too for years before I started in SASS, but I'm just weird like that. Would the cowboy in the pic come forward? We wanna roast ya like that guy did!! ~EE Taft~
Jefro, SASS#69420 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 If you have ever slow danced at a Waffle House Jefro
Dusty Hill, sass # 49256 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 If you own a firearm that is worth more then the vehicle you drive. ( this was a guy I used to hunt with) If you own a 4x4 that is woth more then the house you live in. ( same guy after he upgraded to a better vehicle)
Doc McGee, SASS #51213 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 63. If you’ve ever waterskied behind a pickup. (Irrigation ditch in the Midwest.) 64. If you’ve ever worked on a car engine in the front room. (Don’t remember how I got that one past the better half!) 65. If you’ve ever worked on your dirt bike in the living room in front of the wood stove. (Honest, Mom said it was OK! And it was winter, cold outside!) One for the lady Rednecks. 67. If you've ever worn a strapless gown with a bra that wasn't. Doc McGee
Wolfgang, SASS #53480 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 If at yur wedding yur wifes custom made wedding dress was held togethere with safety pins.
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 If your kids play hide-and-seek by hiding in the appliances and old cars in the front yard.
Wolfgang, SASS #53480 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 69. If you "home" is in the middle of a wrecking yard. 70. And even more if that salvage yard didn't exist when you parked the home at it's location.
Grouchy Spike Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 71. If you attend the family reunions to look for a date.
Wolfgang, SASS #53480 Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 71. If you attend the family reunions to look for a date. NO. . that is not EXTREME . . . extreme . . . is when . . 72. You attend the family reunions to look for a date. And your three ex-wives try to pick up on you.
Olen Rugged Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 ...when you show folks the picher of your bride and her blue ribbon prize winnin' heifer you helpfully point out "that's Tara-Jo on the left". Olen
Chas B. Wolfson, SASS #11104 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Redneck pickup lines 1) Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to check you out. 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em. 6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. 8) Fat Penguin........... Sorry, I just wanted to say something that would break the ice. 9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock 10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel. 11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner. 12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin', we kin sleep til afternoon.
Guest Paniolo Cowboy SASS #75875 Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 Redneck pickup lines 1) Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to check you out. 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em. 6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. 8) Fat Penguin........... Sorry, I just wanted to say something that would break the ice. 9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock 10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel. 11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner. 12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin', we kin sleep til afternoon.
Boondock Saint, #70146 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 If you think getting arrested for public intoxication, urinating in public, and resisting arrest, all at the same time, is the "Triple Crown" then you are a redneck. If you were arrested for discharging a firearm within the city limits, and you tell the officer "that sumbitch was an 8-point, and he was standing right by the road." then you are a redneck. No, it wasn't me, but I know both of these guys.
Marauder SASS #13056 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 And you wonder why "Red Neck" is a derogatory term...
J.D.Ironsmith Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 And you wonder why "Red Neck" is a derogatory term... Redneck may not be the best thing in the world... but you can call me that before calling me worse things... like a yuppie or a liberal...!!!
DocWard Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Redneck may not be the best thing in the world... but you can call me that before calling me worse things... like a yuppie or a liberal...!!! I've been called yuppie more than once. I've politely corrected them. I've definitely been called redneck quite a few times. I've just shrugged my shoulders. The few times someone has called me liberal I have laughed in their face, though.
Complicated Lady Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 Yikes! Y'all are making me feel very 'refined'
Bama Red Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 If you think sisters are for practice and cousins are for marryin', then you're an east Tennessee extreme redneck!
Noz Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 The redneck was standing on the curb with his pants unbutton and his thing i his hand getting ready to whiz. A cop yelled at him: "Hey, you can't do that there"! His reply? "I ain't going to do it here, I'm gonna do it way over there". Some of these criteria hit way too close to home. I know people like that.
Judge Rufus Cornelius Colt #18386 Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 You wonder that, if you divorce your wife, will you still be brother and sister.
Hashknife Cowboy Posted February 9, 2011 Posted February 9, 2011 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night. 5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean. 6. Someone in your family died right after saying 'Hey, guys, watch this'. 7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. 9. Your junior prom offered day care. 10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines'. 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. don't fergit, if your gunsafe is bigger than your fridge, you might just be a redneck or a member of SASS.....Yoos-ta-be-kid
Whiskey Business Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Your wedding vows uses the F-word more than 10 times.
Whiskey Business Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Your wedding was held in the delivery room.
Whiskey Business Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Your wedding was held in the delivery room.
Wolfgang, SASS #53480 Posted February 10, 2011 Posted February 10, 2011 Your wedding was held in the delivery room. Does that mean that your second wedding was also held in the delivery room ? Probably so . . . . But, . . were both wives cousins ?
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