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mental illness


Trigger Mike

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My brother overdosed this week. He is fine, they have him in the mental hospital and are allowing the pills to wear off. some of what bothers me about the whole thing is how his wife reacted to it.

 

1) she told my sister to not let ANYONE come to the hospital to see him, only her own mother, not any of his relatives or a preacher he has been talking to lately. I was given the message that under MO CIRCUMSTANCES was I to go.

 

2) I went anyway. She had gone out for supper with her mom when I got there but when she got back she said, "I don't know how to handle mental illness". I told her it was not mental illness and that it is just someopne who gave up. Later I heard she told his mother that she can not handle it and will not let him come back home but will send him to his mother's and how she kept saying she can never leave him alone again.

 

3) She kept wanting me to leave ands said to him, do you want Mike to leave so you can rest?, he said yes, but I stayed anyway, she left to get their son out of daycare (at 6:30 PM). She refused to let him know what was going on, and where he was going even though he kept asking as he could not remember how he got where he was or what had happened. I told him after he left.

 

4) His wife has the code so folks can check on him and see him or call him, yet she will not give it to his family.

 

5) She keeps telling his son that his daddy is sick and in the hospital.

 

I still say that some of what we call metal illness is not that at all. Sometimes normal people get discouraged enough to give up or cry louder for help. I do know that after several years of marraige she did not seem to understand him. I noticed twice where she thought he was talkiing about one thing and kept guessing until someone else told her what he was trying to say and then he would nod in agreement.

 

The other disconcerting thing is now everyone is blaming everyone else. I keep trying to tell them that it was he who made this decision, and he alone. I still say it is not an illness but discouragement and anyone can get to tthat point under the right circumstances.

 

At the mental hospital while trying to talk to him on the lobby phone a man was asking a lady pending admission if she was angry. To me anger is not a mental illness either. Even Jesus got angry and overturned some tables in the temple when folks were making money off the poor selling sacrifices in the temple. Maybe we need to revisit what is an illness and what is a loss of control of your emotions.

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TM, I'm no counselor or doctor. However, I am the facilities manager for a very large mental health facility, I see people from all walks of life everyday that have problems. We treat children and adults. Sounds like your brother is suffering from anxiety/depression issues. Which may not be a permanent condition, perhaps he's just suffering from too much stress due to something that has recently happened. Sounds like he is in the right place if he neds help. Yeah, alot of the stuff the shrinks come up with sounds hokey. A little counseling is not going to hurt your brother, mental illness affects friends and family. Many don't want to talk with loved ones or professionals regarding their inner thoughts, too much pride or something. I see guys/girls coming through our facility that I have worked with and known for years, never knew they had a problem. I've also seen my familiy members and friends go through alot of stuff in their lives and looking back several of them should have been treated for some issues. Obviously, you care for your brother and want only the best for him, give the shrinks a chance they really do know what they're doing.

 

Good Luck Pard,

 

Louisiana Lightnin'

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My brother overdosed this week. He is fine, they have him in the mental hospital and are allowing the pills to wear off. some of what bothers me about the whole thing is how his wife reacted to it.

 

1) she told my sister to not let ANYONE come to the hospital to see him, only her own mother, not any of his relatives or a preacher he has been talking to lately. I was given the message that under MO CIRCUMSTANCES was I to go.

 

2) I went anyway. She had gone out for supper with her mom when I got there but when she got back she said, "I don't know how to handle mental illness". I told her it was not mental illness and that it is just someopne who gave up. Later I heard she told his mother that she can not handle it and will not let him come back home but will send him to his mother's and how she kept saying she can never leave him alone again.

 

3) She kept wanting me to leave ands said to him, do you want Mike to leave so you can rest?, he said yes, but I stayed anyway, she left to get their son out of daycare (at 6:30 PM). She refused to let him know what was going on, and where he was going even though he kept asking as he could not remember how he got where he was or what had happened. I told him after he left.

 

4) His wife has the code so folks can check on him and see him or call him, yet she will not give it to his family.

 

5) She keeps telling his son that his daddy is sick and in the hospital.

 

I still say that some of what we call metal illness is not that at all. Sometimes normal people get discouraged enough to give up or cry louder for help. I do know that after several years of marraige she did not seem to understand him. I noticed twice where she thought he was talkiing about one thing and kept guessing until someone else told her what he was trying to say and then he would nod in agreement.

 

The other disconcerting thing is now everyone is blaming everyone else. I keep trying to tell them that it was he who made this decision, and he alone. I still say it is not an illness but discouragement and anyone can get to tthat point under the right circumstances.

 

At the mental hospital while trying to talk to him on the lobby phone a man was asking a lady pending admission if she was angry. To me anger is not a mental illness either. Even Jesus got angry and overturned some tables in the temple when folks were making money off the poor selling sacrifices in the temple. Maybe we need to revisit what is an illness and what is a loss of control of your emotions.

 

Sorry, Mike... I can relate I have a sister who tried to OD too, but she did a good enough job that we almost lost her. To this day, she still tries every now and than. Some people do just give up, and that is when those who love you are there to help. I guess if you just gave up cuz you wanted to party, play music and do drugs it would be hard to support that sort of behavior. But it sounds like this is a long term issue? I am sorry, I will keep him in my prayers, and I hope God helps his wife better understand how much he needs her and his family right now. Some people are so good at knowing when and where to hit ya (emotionally) that at times you feel lost. I hope they both work on this, he needs her right now.. Hugs Deja

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L.L. has a good description of what may going on. I also have a lot of experience in the mental health field and hospital emergency room. First of all you need to recognize that depression IS a mental illness and suicide attempts are a major warning sign. Depression is not something a person can "just snap out of" on their own. You seem to dislike your sis-in-law however consider you do not live with your brother 24/7 and as a result do not know what his daily behavior is like.

 

I think your sis-in-law is being honest when she says she doesn't know how to deal with mental illness. However she can learn by attending counseling also. I also think she is telling her son the right thing when she tells him his daddy is sick and in the hospital. I would like to suggest you meet with your brother's doctors and learn what mental illness really is. Your brother is very ill and people with major depression may attempt suicide (rehearse) several times before succeeding.

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I know a guy who was going through a bad time in his life, and is kind of a hothead anyhoo..He was staying with his sister and got into it one night with her boyfriend, and beat the crap out of him..She called the cops and somehow managed to get him admitted to a mental institution..

 

He wasn't one bit crazy, just had a bad temper..I also know the boyfriend, and he can be a real jerk..And drinks wayy too much.

 

Anyway, he got out in several days, but later told me he was forced to sign a form that took away his right to own firearms before they would release him..Don't know if that's the way it is in all states, this happened in N.C.

 

I do know on the form you have to fill out before purchasing a firearm, it asks if you have ever been judged mentally ill.

 

Sorry to get somewhat off topic, just seemed worth mentioning..

 

Hope your brother pulls out of it and gets his life back together..You're right,just because someone's depressed or having troubles in his or her life don't make them crazy..None of my business really, but it sounds like his wife ain't doing anything to help the poor guy, she could at least be more supportive.

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I know a guy who was going through a bad time in his life, and is kind of a hothead anyhoo..He was staying with his sister and got into it one night with her boyfriend, and beat the crap out of him..She called the cops and somehow managed to get him admitted to a mental institution..

 

He wasn't one bit crazy, just had a bad temper..I also know the boyfriend, and he can be a real jerk..And drinks wayy too much.

 

Anyway, he got out in several days, but later told me he was forced to sign a form that took away his right to own firearms before they would release him..Don't know if that's the way it is in all states, this happened in N.C.

 

I do know on the form you have to fill out before purchasing a firearm, it asks if you have ever been judged mentally ill.

 

Sorry to get somewhat off topic, just seemed worth mentioning..

 

Hope your brother pulls out of it and gets his life back together..You're right,just because someone's depressed or having troubles in his or her life don't make them crazy..None of my business really, but it sounds like his wife ain't doing anything to help the poor guy, she could at least be more supportive.

 

 

Gotta agree with that.. it sort of "your mission should you choose to accept it".. lol.. You have to be there for each other. Abot the time you are thinking that you have all the "burden" is the time you will find out that your loving spouse is picking you up off the floor and saving your hinny.. Marriage is give and take, true it seems like one takes and one gives.. but all in all you both will have your chance. The is the hardest part of a relationship for many people, the sharing of the painful parts of life. Some grow stronger from it, some marriages end.

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I have seen this scenario professionally and personally myself and this is my take on it.

 

She's embarrassed and wants to hide "The Dirty Little Secret"......

 

Be there for support and tell her that it's a family matter and that you were his Brother long before she was his wife and that you are there for his and her support through these rough times....

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