Red Logan #12252 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 ENJOY - A Blonde's Year in Review January Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!! March Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... Box said ' 2-4 years!' April Trapped on escalator for hours ... Power went out!!! May Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June Tried to go water skiing....... Couldn't find a lake with a slope. July Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... Learned later that the other swimmers cheated- they used their arms!!! August Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... Darn car filled up with water because convertible top was open. September The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it??? October Hate M & M's.....They are so hard to peel. November Baked Thanksgiving turkey for 4 1/2 days ... Instructions said bake 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!! December Couldn't call 911. 'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!! THE BEST BLONDE JOK E OF THE YEAR - SO FAR A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and Stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?' To which she replied, 'There certainly is!' (Are you ready? This is a beauty...) 'My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duffield, SASS #23454 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Pictures! Where are the pictures! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SGT. QUINCANNON, SASS #32999 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 This blonde joke was once posted here by Miss Rocky Meadows, the most beautiful blonde in the West... What do you get when you stand 10 blondes on their heads? (PM me for the answer) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadeye Doug Dalton SASS#65449L Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 A Blonde and a Brunette were talking. The Blonde said,"I've got a new boyfriend." I like him alott, but he's got bad dandruff. The Brunette said, "Why don't you just give him some Head n Shoulders?" The Blonde said, "How do you give shoulders?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Sun Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 A blonde goes into an ice cream store and asks for a gallon of chocolate, a gallon of vanilla and a gallon of strawberry. The man behind the counter tells the blonde, I'm sorry maam...we're out of chocolate. She says okay, let me have a 1/2 gallon of chocolate, a 1/2 gallon of vanilla and a 1/2 gallon of strawberry, He says, maam we're out of chocolate. She says oh okay, let me get a pint of chocolate, pint of vanilla and a pint of strawberry. He says maam, I can see that you're a blonde so let me make it easy for you.......vanilla has van in it, spell van.....She says van.....he says thats great. Strawberry has straw in it, spell straw........she says straw.......he says outstanding, now spell F@%#. She says wait a minute there's no f@%# in chocolate............................he says, THAT'S WHAT I'VER BEEN TRING TO TELL YOU. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roubidoux Bad Luck Warden Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Pretty funny.... How bout this one..... Why does a brunette only shave one leg? So she knows what it's like to sleep with a man... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorado Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 What do you call an eternity? Four blondes at a 4 way stop What goes Vroom, Screech, Vroom, Screech? A blonde at a blinking red light. Three blondes walk into a bar the fourth one ducks. Three blondes are lost in the woods, they come to a shore and in the sand they find a bottle. They dust it off and a genie appears. The genie looks at them and says "I normally grant one person three wishes, but since there are three of you I will grant you each one wish". The first blonde thinks about it for a minute and says "I'd like to be 10 times smarter" ... Poof! She became 10 times smarter and she swam across the river. The second blonde saw this and said "I'd like to be 100 times smarter" ...Poof! She became 100 times smarter and she built a raft and floated across the river. The third one saw this and said "Well, if she became 10 times smarter and swam across, and she became 100 times smarter and floated across, I'd like to be 1000 times smarter!"...Poof she turned into a man and walked across the bridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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