stalking.. vent...

[Deja Vous]

So if it were not for nutty what would I do? I found a nice friend I thought at work, different company, same building .. We have been talking for awhile as friends, and I made that very clear. We are different.. yeah he is the tree hugger.. lol.. So, today I think I ended the whole friendship.. He followed me home last night, riding my bumper all the way. When I pulled in he went by.. whew... I did make if very clear we were friends only... I do not date much at all.. and if you are so different than I am then we sure will not date.. lol.. Whats the point?

 

So, he did follow me home after several nasty messages for days now.... And last night I am pretty sure he was parked out side the secuirty gates.. this morning my thoughts were to go talk to his boss and then maybe call the police.. but I had to talk to him first.. just me.. I guess I am the missing link??? lol.. Anyhow.. he is going home to San Diego until after the first of hte year... And he did say he was sorry.. but he also pretty much told me he had done this before.. ..

 

sooooooooooooooooooooooo I attract nuts.. lol.. And I dump nutssssssssssssss... lol.. I have his tag, and his name on paper here at my house in case something goes wrong.. I had a friend request the name.. I mean really if I give that out and the guy ends up beaten up and they question me... how would that look. so I did not give the name out.. I did have a guy about beat up in the past when I did give the name out so Considring the past I could not take that chance again.

 

So... did I do the right thing here? I hate to ruins someones life you know what I mean.. And I do have a loaded shotgun by my bed.. lol

[Flashpowder Hal]

You jest gotta let him know the boundries,

 

an if'n he passes them ya' kan't give him no slack,

 

ONE warnin' and ya' gotta call da' police.

 

There's some crazies out there thet'll leave ya' ina hole

[Wolfgang, SASS #53480]

Deja . . . you seem to attract crazies . . . but you attract good people also . . . .

 

be careful . . stay safe . . .

[Long Branch Louie]

I tried for years to get women to stalk me.......no luck... Don't play around with this guy, he may be done, but you gotta ask yourself what if he's not. Get the police involved if he bothers you again....

[Rye Miles #13621]

I love the loaded shotgun by yer bed. Good move, hope ya never hafta use it.

[Red Logan #12252]

I tried for years to get women to stalk me.......no luck... Don't play around with this guy, he may be done, but you gotta ask yourself what if he's not. Get the police involved if he bothers you again....

 

 

Please dont wait for the next time, GET tha cops on it NOW. I just had to do this for my youngest daughter.. each state has different things you have to do , Please dont wait,, I would miss ya on thew wire...

[Yellowhouse Sam # 25171]

You ruining his career?!!!! Hold on there Deja! It won't be you that ends it...it will be due to the consequences of his actions and not yours.

 

Put the monkey on his back. Tell him up front that you are personally bothered by his behavior and that if it continues you will have no choice to obtain a restraining order and have a face to face with the boss. Make it clear of what he stands to lose, i.e., the consequences of HIS actions. I don't know of any company nowadays that will condone sexual harassment or any harassment at all. For sure, don't keep this a secret.

 

While you tell him this don't drop eye contact. Use the facial expression that says "Hey, I will kill you if necessary!" That should work because I've seen it in my wifes eyes before.

 

And I just remembered this: You should know, when someone pisses you off, it takes forty-eight muscles to frown but only two to pull a trigger.

 

Stay safe!

Edited December 11, 2010 by Yellowhouse Sam # 25171

[Cypress Sun]

I agree with Red. Get the cops on it now. Sure does sound like a stalking situation to me. You need to have a starting point to get this guy away from you, a police report is a good way to start. Having the guy beat up could aggravate the problem. Since he doesn't work for the same employer as you do, talking to his boss will do no good. Some situations like this end with the guy leaving you alone..........some lead to further escalation of the problem. Further escalation could include harassment at work and at home, vandalism of personal property, injury to pets and the list gets even worse from there.

 

Contact law enforcement ASAP. Have the facts; full name, address (if possible), e-mail address, car make and tag #, phone # and save any written messages he may have sent you. Provide your close friends with the same information.

 

I don't know the gun laws of CA. A shotgun next to the bed is great if an attacker gets in and you just happen to be in the bedroom. I'm not advising that you "break the law", but when seconds count........the cops are more than just a few minutes away. I know that I would rather be judged by peers than buried by friends. Read between the lines Deja, you'll know what to do.

 

Sun

[Boss Hoss Fly #63711]

I wundered whos car that waz blockin my view

[Jackson Rose, SASS #45478]

Call the police............................now. These people don't go away that easily.

[J-BAR #18287]

File a report with the police. Now.

 

Do not have any, I mean any, contact with this person from now on. Tell your supervisor about the situation so you will not have any contact with this person at work. If that is not possible change jobs. Don't try to be "friends" at work, don't be "nice" to him. You cannot ever be "just friends" with this person.

 

And stop flirting. It sends the wrong message. This from a real friend.

[Grizzly Dave]

I agree, file a police report now. Get it on the official record.

[Eamon Chute]

Now that I work for the police department, I can tell you honestly.....they take this stuff VERY seriously. Make a report TODAY!!! You need to document this and get a case number. The report will get to the right section and they'll look to see if there is any other type of reports about this guy exist. For you're own safety and well being being, phone, or go into your nearest police station.

 

We do not want to be reading about you in the papers!!!! Well, maybe in the Cowboy Chronicle, but that's a horse of a different color.

 

And post on here the minute you file the report.........we're all worried about you now!

 

EC

[The Original Lumpy Gritz]

DJ, listen HARD. You know my background.

CALL THE POLICE NOW/TODAY and get this POS off the street ASAP so he can't do any harm to you or the next "target" this sick SOB puts into his sights.

You are NOT his first or will you be his last, if YOU don't take action NOW/TODAY.

Respectfully,

LG

[Deja Vous]

Deja . . . you seem to attract crazies . . . but you attract good people also . . . .

 

be careful . . stay safe . . .

 

 

Yeah, its a gift.. lol.

[Deja Vous]

I tried for years to get women to stalk me.......no luck... Don't play around with this guy, he may be done, but you gotta ask yourself what if he's not. Get the police involved if he bothers you again....

 

Yep... I will thanks...

[Deja Vous]

You jest gotta let him know the boundries,

 

an if'n he passes them ya' kan't give him no slack,

 

ONE warnin' and ya' gotta call da' police.

 

There's some crazies out there thet'll leave ya' ina hole

 

Thanks Hals... I have told him to not talk to me or call me at work.. period.. so we shall see what he does..

[Deja Vous]

Please dont wait for the next time, GET tha cops on it NOW. I just had to do this for my youngest daughter.. each state has different things you have to do , Please dont wait,, I would miss ya on thew wire...

 

Reds if I were young I guess I would be more concerned.. This guy was stalking a mature person, well kinda mature.. If he was a danger i would think younger would be his target? And he did seem really shaken up when I told him what I would do. I am a bit worried that if I do act, it could get much worse, and I hate to ruin someones life too. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

[Deja Vous]

You ruining his career?!!!! Hold on there Deja! It won't be you that ends it...it will be due to the consequences of his actions and not yours.

 

Put the monkey on his back. Tell him up front that you are personally bothered by his behavior and that if it continues you will have no choice to obtain a restraining order and have a face to face with the boss. Make it clear of what he stands to lose, i.e., the consequences of HIS actions. I don't know of any company nowadays that will condone sexual harassment or any harassment at all. For sure, don't keep this a secret.

 

While you tell him this don't drop eye contact. Use the facial expression that says "Hey, I will kill you if necessary!" That should work because I've seen it in my wifes eyes before.

 

And I just remembered this: You should know, when someone pisses you off, it takes forty-eight muscles to frown but only two to pull a trigger.

 

Stay safe!

 

 

I like the trigger line.. lol.... Thanks Yellowhouses.. I am waiting until after the holidays and lets see what happens. He has been told to NEVER call or speak to me again period... I do not KNOW him any longer ... It is really hard to be tough with people for me, but in this case I am and I will stay that way, I do have a bit of a fear of being dead or close to it... so once I am pushed into being afraid, it is over with, I am no longer real nice, I am in defense mode.. I think that change kinda shows up on my face and body posture, and it scared him.. he knew I was afraid, and scare enough to do what I said I would do, or maybe pull a gun out of my trunk..

[Deja Vous]

I agree with Red. Get the cops on it now. Sure does sound like a stalking situation to me. You need to have a starting point to get this guy away from you, a police report is a good way to start. Having the guy beat up could aggravate the problem. Since he doesn't work for the same employer as you do, talking to his boss will do no good. Some situations like this end with the guy leaving you alone..........some lead to further escalation of the problem. Further escalation could include harassment at work and at home, vandalism of personal property, injury to pets and the list gets even worse from there.

 

Contact law enforcement ASAP. Have the facts; full name, address (if possible), e-mail address, car make and tag #, phone # and save any written messages he may have sent you. Provide your close friends with the same information.

 

I don't know the gun laws of CA. A shotgun next to the bed is great if an attacker gets in and you just happen to be in the bedroom. I'm not advising that you "break the law", but when seconds count........the cops are more than just a few minutes away. I know that I would rather be judged by peers than buried by friends. Read between the lines Deja, you'll know what to do.

 

Sun

 

 

Thank Cypress I am listening.. but I am waiting while I vent.. I want to see if he does change... I do live in a apartment now, pretty small and I keep my doors locked so I think I could make it to my shotgun.. My concern is doing something might make it much worse. If it continues then yeah, I will report it to the police.

[Deja Vous]

I wundered whos car that waz blockin my view

 

I can always count on you for a laugh... that was a joke, right?? lol

[Deja Vous]

Call the police............................now. These people don't go away that easily.

 

I am hoping he does, if not then I will be calling them..

[Deja Vous]

File a report with the police. Now.

 

Do not have any, I mean any, contact with this person from now on. Tell your supervisor about the situation so you will not have any contact with this person at work. If that is not possible change jobs. Don't try to be "friends" at work, don't be "nice" to him. You cannot ever be "just friends" with this person.

 

And stop flirting. It sends the wrong message. This from a real friend.

 

 

J-Bars... I haave told him that we will never speak again period and I meant it.. So, we are not friends.. Flirting? huh? I don't do that.. geesh you know me I talk to everyone men and women... I don't flirt at all.. I joke and have fun. I told him from the very first we were friends and that was it.. we never went anyplace together we would just stand around and talk at work out in the hall ways around other people. Gosh... flirting, really? lol.. Not hardly...

[Deja Vous]

Now that I work for the police department, I can tell you honestly.....they take this stuff VERY seriously. Make a report TODAY!!! You need to document this and get a case number. The report will get to the right section and they'll look to see if there is any other type of reports about this guy exist. For you're own safety and well being being, phone, or go into your nearest police station.

 

We do not want to be reading about you in the papers!!!! Well, maybe in the Cowboy Chronicle, but that's a horse of a different color.

 

And post on here the minute you file the report.........we're all worried about you now!

 

EC

 

 

Don't worry about me.. I am armed.. He has gone back home until after the holiday, and this weekend I will be with Jitterys from this afternoon until later on Sunday.. Well, I will be home with Rat later tonight, but most of the time I will be with Jitterys at a SASS function .. I am feeling pretty safe with that. I will see what Monday brings.

[Deja Vous]

Call the police............................now. These people don't go away that easily.

 

Thanks Jackson.. I am hoping my way works... if not I will be calling them...

[G. P. Cobb]

I think you need to report immediately.

I think you will find a restraining order impossible to attain unless you have entered a sexual relationship. I know in Kansas, just being the parent of an abusive son-in-law has exempted us from getting one. Maybe your state is different. I would go to Boss and Police immediately and file there. Like J-Bar recommends, forget the personal verbal warning and confrontation. It may egg-on a result that could be regrettfull or fatal. I.E. Cut OFF the communication..........

[Deja Vous]

DJ, listen HARD. You know my background.

CALL THE POLICE NOW/TODAY and get this POS off the street ASAP so he can't do any harm to you or the next "target" this sick SOB puts into his sights.

You are NOT his first or will you be his last, if YOU don't take action NOW/TODAY.

Respectfully,

LG

PM to ya pard... I am okay... I really am... nothing happened last night.. no sight or sound... Nothing since I had a talk with him ... so I am guessing that he is in San Diego at home licking his wounds. Gotta go load my gun cart and get out to run a couple errands.. right now all I have my mind on is tonight, and the shoot tomorrow.. and how much fun life is. I am not letting anyone ruin my life ever again.. So, believe me one more call will get him reported pronto now.. he has pushed me to where I am scared, and when I am scared I am kinda like a badger backed into a corner... I don't want to be hurt and I know the only way out alive it to fight like heck..

[G. P. Cobb]

J-Bars... I haave told him that we will never speak again period and I meant it.. So, we are not friends.. Flirting? huh? I don't do that.. geesh you know me I talk to everyone men and women... I don't flirt at all.. I joke and have fun. I told him from the very first we were friends and that was it.. we never went anyplace together we would just stand around and talk at work out in the hall ways around other people. Gosh... flirting, really? lol.. Not hardly...

 

____________________

I don't think you realize your talking may be perceived as flirting...............

[Deja Vous]

____________________

I don't think you realize your talking may be perceived as flirting...............

 

No, I don't realize that.. I see it as talking and I like to talk to people a lot. The guys a tree hugger and anti gun, I hoped to get him to understand gun people and he wanted me to see where he was coming from.. Gun conversations are not "warm cuddley" conversation in my opinion. I spoke with his co-workers as much as i did with him and some of them were gun people.. Who knows maybe in his mind I liked him and was not being honest about it.. But we did talk about going out to dinner and I told him nope, we were just friends at work and that was all it could be cuz we would be like gas and fire in the same room over a gun issue. I don't like to argue and this guy loves to argue so I was pulling away from even talking to him cuz he was a hot head. I talk to all the guys in my office, and not a one of them thinks "I want them".. geesh.. they know me, people get to knew me very quickly I am darn open and honest.

[stepnmud#33546]

Dirty Harry hung around San Diego area, might see if he's in the book. Likely can take care of special needs.

[Sheriff Oso, SASS #57788L]

Deja Vous (Already You, or is it Already y'all?) YOU ARE NOT LISTENING!

You asked if you did the right thing. Everyone said yes, but they also said FILE A POLICE REPORT NOW!

 

He may stop "pestering YOU", but he will (most likely) find a new "target".

Either go down to PD HQ or have an officer come take the report.

 

Every one of your replies indicate that "you dont want to ruin his career" (you won't, but HE might), and you WILL file IF he doesn't stop (WITH YOU!)

He needs to be put on the "watch list" (IF he's not already there!)

 

I don't know you except from here in the Saloon, but my sister used to be a "Creep Magnet".

And was she ever!?!! Crazies follwed her like seagulls follow French Fries!

I am sad to say she's not a "Creep Magnet" (her term) anymore. We had to cremate her a few years ago. She was in her mid 40's. Get the picture?

 

YOU even said, "I was pulling away from even talking to him cuz he was a hot head." A HOT HEAD? ARE YOU KIDDING? SO FILE THE POLICE REPORT!

 

SOso (who loves ALL women (and most men-to an extent) and wants NO ONE ELSE to be hurt by CREEPS)

[Boss Hoss Fly #63711]

I can always count on you for a laugh... that was a joke, right?? lol

 

 

Mabe

 

 

 

Take the advice bout the police---

Ya kant deal with loonies - I'm livin proof

[Ricochet Roy, SASS #71853]

Deja,

We is Pards right? You have received a lot of great advise, HEAR THE THUNDER! File a Police report now, this guy sounds like a creepy preditor. You don't need this BS.

 

Roy

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

You said he works for a different company so it would not be much good to talk with your supervisor or HR people unless somehow his job brings him near you.

 

You do want to have a formal record saying that he harrassed you because sometimes the authorities don't like to do anything the first time -- though they do take such things more seriously now than they used to.

 

I would almost recommend one of those bumper stickers that says "A good steady aim is the best Gun Control" except that I don't like putting anything gun related on my vehicle.

[Apache Hawk 60642]

So if it were not for nutty what would I do? I found a nice friend I thought at work, different company, same building .. We have been talking for awhile as friends, and I made that very clear. We are different.. yeah he is the tree hugger.. lol.. So, today I think I ended the whole friendship.. He followed me home last night, riding my bumper all the way. When I pulled in he went by.. whew... I did make if very clear we were friends only... I do not date much at all.. and if you are so different than I am then we sure will not date.. lol.. Whats the point?

 

So, he did follow me home after several nasty messages for days now.... And last night I am pretty sure he was parked out side the secuirty gates.. this morning my thoughts were to go talk to his boss and then maybe call the police.. but I had to talk to him first.. just me.. I guess I am the missing link??? lol.. Anyhow.. he is going home to San Diego until after the first of hte year... And he did say he was sorry.. but he also pretty much told me he had done this before.. ..

 

sooooooooooooooooooooooo I attract nuts.. lol.. And I dump nutssssssssssssss... lol.. I have his tag, and his name on paper here at my house in case something goes wrong.. I had a friend request the name.. I mean really if I give that out and the guy ends up beaten up and they question me... how would that look. so I did not give the name out.. I did have a guy about beat up in the past when I did give the name out so Considring the past I could not take that chance again.

 

So... did I do the right thing here? I hate to ruins someones life you know what I mean.. And I do have a loaded shotgun by my bed.. lol

 

Well, what we talked about eariler comes to mind.

 

Set you're boundires, and stick to them.

No if's or but's!

 

And if you can, get a CCW...just in case !!