Tree Fetch'n

[Chip Tosser SASS#27040L]

Evening Folks, For those of you who don't know me, I'm Chip. It's been awhile since I've stopped by and said much....

I do stop by on occasion, look around for familiar faces.... then usually quietly leave.

 

Sad to say, but many of the old gang aren't around much any more. Some have passed, and are sorely missed. Others have lost interest, probably due to that fact.

 

I see alot of new folks carrying on the traditions we started, and smile knowing that they are the next generation, with their own stories to tell, and friends to make.

 

It's amazing, this techno;ogy we have now a days. It's enabled many of us to meet people that we other wise wouldn't have. Some, we may have tthe opportunity to meet in person, others we never will, Yet the bonds of friendship are woven, and the heartfelt tears we shed at their passing are the same as friends we've known most our lives. I encourage all of you to use this venue to cultivate those friendships, it will enrich your lives.

 

Since the SASS wire's inception It's been my honor and privilege to wreak havoc in the Saloon (ACS) especially this time of year, to assemble a possee and fetch a tree for the Christmas season. There have been many memorable mishaps along the way, many of my friends have had near death experiences, yet we always came through.... some times with nothing much more than a stump, but we came through none the less.

 

Ol Chip must be getting tired, because he just doesn't have the heart for it this year, so he's passing the torch on to the next generation. I wish you the best, and offer you two pieces of advise.

First, BE CAREFUL.... Tree fetch'n can be dangerous business....

Second.... some of the best trees around are just outside town, give them wide berth.... They belong to Miss Timberline.... She is a fine lady, but takes a real dim view of anybody borrying her trees. I still have a couple knots on my head that bear wittness to that fact.

 

So there we go. Somebody needs to get busy.

Me? I'm gonna sit here, sip at my drink, and think about my old pards and pardetts.... Maybe make an orniment er two with the names of old friends who've gone before us

HMMmmmm... think I'll make one of a tiny coffee pot too ,,,, guess who's name goes on that one. (hint, he's still with us)

OH, and a fly'n machine..... (ok new folks.... what name goes on that one?)(still hide'n out somewheres)

One more..... (originator of the name "Saloonatic") (old coot is still around too)

Hehehe.... How bout a DUCK orneyment too (name please, still kick'n)

 

OK..... GET BUSY.... We need us a tree

[Grizzly Dave]

Grizz was sitting at the barber shop drinking some hot chocolate when Badger walked in, all excited. Thanksgiving was over, so it couldn't be the prospect of a big meal that had him wound up. Now Grizz didn't much get excited this time of year, the snow was flying to like his name sake, he figured sleeping was the best way to ride out the winter.

 

Grizz, GRIZZ! Wake Up! Badger hollared, Grizz nearly dropped the cup of hot chocolate as his head jerked up and he woke up.

 

Badger, what in the... Grizz stammered, trying to clear the cobwebs of sleep from his foggy brain.

 

Grizz! Christmas is a comin and we need to go get us a tree! Badger exclaimed.

[Greeenriver SASS #38681]

CHIPPY!!!!!!!!! Merry Christmas!!!!!!! Good to see ya again, Pard.

 

Hey, here's a little something for Christmas, please don't light it till I'm gone at least a block!!!

 

I'm gonna just set over here in the cornor and watch the tree fetching from a distance, this year.

 

Greeenriver

[Big Jake1001]

I'm a thinking 'bout Sweetwater Jack an his Balooey,(Hot air Balloon) I think it's still tethered down at the loading platform.

Maybe someone wants to fire it up and go for a ride up and scout around for a tree for the Saloon(ACS)

 

I know, git Sage to fly it, he used to go up in it with Sweetwater Jack. A couple of ner do wells who made things fun around here.

 

Big Jake 1001

[Spanish Bit Bobb]

I'm a thinking 'bout Sweetwater Jack an his Bluey,(Hot air Balloon) I think it's still tethered down at the loading platform.

Maybe someone wants to fire it up and go for a ride up and scout around for a tree for the Saloon(ACS)

 

I know, git Sage to fly it, he used to go up in it with Sweetwater Jack. A couple of ner do wells who made things fun around here.

 

Big Jake 1001

 

No...not tha mule gas!

When ya find a tree...here's sum Ornaments

[Deja Vous]

Evening Folks, For those of you who don't know me, I'm Chip. It's been awhile since I've stopped by and said much....

I do stop by on occasion, look around for familiar faces.... then usually quietly leave.

 

Sad to say, but many of the old gang aren't around much any more. Some have passed, and are sorely missed. Others have lost interest, probably due to that fact.

 

I see alot of new folks carrying on the traditions we started, and smile knowing that they are the next generation, with their own stories to tell, and friends to make.

 

It's amazing, this techno;ogy we have now a days. It's enabled many of us to meet people that we other wise wouldn't have. Some, we may have tthe opportunity to meet in person, others we never will, Yet the bonds of friendship are woven, and the heartfelt tears we shed at their passing are the same as friends we've known most our lives. I encourage all of you to use this venue to cultivate those friendships, it will enrich your lives.

 

Since the SASS wire's inception It's been my honor and privilege to wreak havoc in the Saloon (ACS) especially this time of year, to assemble a possee and fetch a tree for the Christmas season. There have been many memorable mishaps along the way, many of my friends have had near death experiences, yet we always came through.... some times with nothing much more than a stump, but we came through none the less.

 

Ol Chip must be getting tired, because he just doesn't have the heart for it this year, so he's passing the torch on to the next generation. I wish you the best, and offer you two pieces of advise.

First, BE CAREFUL.... Tree fetch'n can be dangerous business....

Second.... some of the best trees around are just outside town, give them wide berth.... They belong to Miss Timberline.... She is a fine lady, but takes a real dim view of anybody borrying her trees. I still have a couple knots on my head that bear wittness to that fact.

 

So there we go. Somebody needs to get busy.

Me? I'm gonna sit here, sip at my drink, and think about my old pards and pardetts.... Maybe make an orniment er two with the names of old friends who've gone before us

HMMmmmm... think I'll make one of a tiny coffee pot too ,,,, guess who's name goes on that one. (hint, he's still with us)

OH, and a fly'n machine..... (ok new folks.... what name goes on that one?)(still hide'n out somewheres)

One more..... (originator of the name "Saloonatic") (old coot is still around too)

Hehehe.... How bout a DUCK orneyment too (name please, still kick'n)

 

OK..... GET BUSY.... We need us a tree

 

 

Chip. i would do this for you.. but the last time I picked up and ax I found out that wood should live thru a frost before you split it.. lol... I can chop, but I can't promise you it would not be a hack job.. and then since we probably want a huge tree for SASS I can't carry it back a lone either.. see.. I am just a girlie whiner.. lol... But I would love to put the angel on top... Trees are so spiritual to me, be it the holiday tree or the one out in the woods.. you can just feel God's presense.. thanks for tending the tree all these years, and I am kinda thinking you probably need to help out a lot this year too, cuz we don't know what the heck we are doing.. lol... Hugs... Deja.

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

No...not tha mule gas!

When ya find a tree...here's sum Ornaments

 

Ware jew fine dem duks? Thot dey wuz exstinkt.

[Grizzly Dave]

Badger was so excited he couldn't stand it, he ran out of the barber shop before Grizz could stop him, giggling and skipping and saying something about getting lots of dynamite.

 

Grizz shook his head, he remembered last year, the dynamite had triggered a horrible avalanche.

[FancyFree#23612L]

Oh Chip, it is soooo good to see your smiling face.

I sorta remember the "Old Fart" wasn't that Flint Westwood?, and all the (mis) adventures. and coffe jerky, (I still have mine) and so much fun reading the " getting of the tree"

Sure do miss them times.

Can't seem to remember who started Saloonatics, but I'll take a guess and say Sierra Jack. and as far as the duckyies go that would be Tex Bodin

Love to hear from all the "OLD" pards, oh wait,,,,,, I'm one of them

 

Merry Christmas all

[Chip Tosser SASS#27040L]

Well.... Thank you kindly 3Es... I'll save that splosive fer later

And Miss fancy.... You got 2 outa 3.

I see Bob got one of them Tex Boden orneyments hisownself. Nice work

 

By the by Miss Deja.... How did you ever get the Idee that we knew what we was doing?

[Marshal Rusty Bore SASS#22739]

Marshal, Marshal, Silver Dollar Bobby hollered! Chip's in town and he's talking about Tree fetchin. Rusty immediately opened a cell stepped inside and threw the keys out the back window into the 3X.

Bobby tell Chippy I'm gonna enjoy Cristmas in one piece this year!

 

 

Howdy Chip good ta hear from ya I think of you often!

 

God Bless Duke Chisum!

[Chip Tosser SASS#27040L]

*chip, talk'n with Bobby*

 

HE said WHAT?!....

Well you go tell that ol neck stretcher that I ain't doing nuth'n but sit'n here mind'n my own business an make'n orneyments.

Here, see.... I made one fer the Marshal..... It's a lil hang'n noose with a red bow on it.... Kinda festive ain't it?

Anywho.... You tell that owlhoot to get his carcass over here an help me out. Flint's buy'n an he broke out the good cigars too.

Tell em I need some idees.... It's kinda easy make'n orneyments for those folks what's still with us, but I'm have'n trouble come'n up with something "just right" for them what's gone on ahead of us.

 

SO.... here's a nickel.... You go fetch em.

 

Chip (nothing quite measures up for his old friends) Tosser

[Marshal Rusty Bore SASS#22739]

What Bobby? He said that did he? Well Ok I'll go talk to him!

 

Rusty saunters over to the Saloon (ACS)>

 

The Marshal enters thru the batwings BONK! Duck! everyone hollers! Rusty turns looking for Tex and BONK! again. Rusty is out like a light!

[Marshal Rusty Bore SASS#22739]

What Bobby? He said that did he? Well Ok I'll go talk to him!

 

Rusty saunters over to the Saloon (ACS).

 

The Marshal enters thru the batwings BONK! Duck! everyone hollers! Rusty turns looking for Tex and BONK! again. Rusty is out like a light!

[Grizzly Dave]

Grizz drags a big ol tree into the Saloon (ACS)

 

Since none of you drunkards wanted to help go get one, I had to buy one off ol Lady Timerline, and you don't want to know what I had to give her for it.

[Chip Tosser SASS#27040L]

*Chip Tells Bobby*

 

Hehehehe....

That's where the say'n "going Bonkers" come from...

 

Here, help me drag his sorry patoot out of the way afore they bring the tree in an stick him full of needles.

 

*propping the Marshal up under the bar*

 

Stick a mug in his hand, that way he won't look passed out drunk.

[Chip Tosser SASS#27040L]

WHAT!!!

Buy one?.....

FROM MISS TIMBERLINE?!!!

 

Land-o-goshen.... I donno who sold you that tree, BUT I can tell you fer sure and fer certain it twern't Miss Timberline.

She has ever one of her trees named..... thinks of em like her children.

She tain't about to sell none of her family.

 

I'm think'n mayhaps Grizz...

You might want to sneak back an poke that tree back into the ground. before Miss T goes out to read her children a good night story. Either that.... or perhaps Molly'll lend you a pot to put over yer head till you make it to the border.

 

 

Hehehehe... sure glad it ain't me what took her tree.... Wait a minute.....

Chip always fetches the TREE!

AHHHHhhhhhhh!!!!

 

Marshal!, Marshal!!!

WAKE UP!....

You need to put me in the protective custodies.

 

Chip ( What's experienced Miss T wrath concern'n her trees) Tosser

[Guest Henry Horns SASS #19579L]

Henry steps in through the batwings. The Saloon is pretty quiet. There's a couple of Christmas decorations here & there. Marsha Rusty is propped up in the corner with a headbonk ot twa.

Knuckles is plunkin' out a new tune and Chip is here....makin Orneymints??

Now, Ol' Chip is about the most inventin'est, Balooey flyin'est, Flame throwin'est, Dynamitin'est, TNT n'est, Christmas tree fetchin'est, fun-n-scary-to-be-around'est Pards that ever graced the Saloon (ACS).

He's been blowin' stuff up and slippin' out of Marsha Rusty's Noose since long before I arrived in Toostone. And he's quietly sittin' here....makin Orneymints?? Well, this is just somethin'.

Howdy Chip! Dang, it's good to see you again, Pard! Cool lookin Orneymints. I like the li'l Noose one, and is that a li'l bitty pair of Silky Knickers to hang on the tree?

Bottles, how 'bout a round fer everybody you and Molly and Knuckles, too. And let's put it on m...m...my...goodness, isn't that J.Mark Flint's tab on top?

[Sierra Jack Cassidy, SASS 14336Life]

Cassidy sat in a corner of the Saloon (always capitalize Saloon!) sipping a beer when he spotted Grizzly Dave dragging a large Christmas Tree. Cassidy turned his back, happy that the annual chore had been handled without any fires, explosions, bullet holes, frostbite, or hair loss. Bottles wandered over and whispered something to Cassidy... something that made the cowboy sit up straight and spill beer on his leg.

Cassidy stood up and walked straight to Grizzly Dave, "Dave ya best get on yer hoss and get outa town! Miz Timberline is over to Denver with Flint Westwood, an' when she gets back an' finds one of her trees is cut down... well, the gal has a temper an' she shoots straight!"

Grizzly Dave shrugged his shoulders, "Cassidy, the gal who sold me the tree said she was Timberline!"

Cassidy whistled, "Grizz, was she a handsome woman an' did she have red hair? Was there a feller with a fishin' pole with her?"

Dave swallowed, "no to all those questions Jack."

Cassidy closed his eyes and moaned, "that imposter could get us all kilt!! Now what the heck can we do?"

 

Cassidy

[Grizzly Dave]

Grizz drug the tree out and tied it to his horse. Only one thing to so, he bought a couple of spikes at the general store and then headed back to the Timberline place. Snow was falling to cover the drag marks from earlier of which Grizz was glad. He pulled the tree up and carried it over his saddle which made the horse spooky at best.

 

He got back to the Timberline place and spiked the tree back to it's stump. and then piled pine needles to cover the cut. With any luck by the time Timberline noticed, the trail would be long cold.

 

It was late and Grizz was frozen when he got back to the Saloon (ACS) He told Chip how he'd put the tree back as he warmed himself by the stove.

[Black Harris #154]

BH exits the Humidingor/ Wine Cellar - Geeze the Marshall s out cold on the floor and Chip is looking guilty.

 

There is a tree in the Saloon (ACS).

 

Cassidy is sipping a beer trying not to look guilty.

 

Miss Timberline is due in on the stage.

 

Hey Chip do we need to hit the Outlaw Trail again?

[Deja Vous]

Well.... Thank you kindly 3Es... I'll save that splosive fer later

And Miss fancy.... You got 2 outa 3.

I see Bob got one of them Tex Boden orneyments hisownself. Nice work

 

By the by Miss Deja.... How did you ever get the Idee that we knew what we was doing?

 

Since I don't know.. I have to hope someone does? lol...

[Sneaky Gun Runner SASS 79775]

Sneaky comes bustin through the batwings so fast one flies across the room and hits Marshall in the head causing him to drop the beer mug stuck in his hand. He is followed by a low wail changing pitch and volume by the second until it ends in a mighty roar that puts the fear of God in ever critter in the county.

 

Sneaky looks terrified and says. " I, I, I, I......."

 

Everyone looks on with eyes big as shot glasses as Sneaky runs and over and drains ever glass left setting on the bar (granted, there wasn't much left in em).

 

He takes a deep, shuddering breath and tries again,

 

"I....jest...saw....Lady...Tim, Tim, Timer, er, Timerline and she was headed up to her place from the stage depot. I heard some rumors and thought I should warn ya. Sounds like she jest let ya know her ownself."

[Chip Tosser SASS#27040L]

PHEW!.... tree's back

That was a close'n..... Now If'n Miss T was ta come home an find a tree miss'n........ Well, Let's just say it coulda got ugly

 

Now where was we?

Henry is survey'n the TAB sitchyation... always good to see who's buy'n

Cass's blood pressure jest shot off the richter scale...

BH is here with a fresh supply or Flints cigars.... Thanks.

Miss DV"s confidence in the tree fetch'n crew is waning...

Sneaky is about to suffer the apoplexy bout Miss T, not realize'n Grizz took the tree back....

The Marshal is keep'n real quiet....

An Grizz put everything to right.... Right?.....

 

Ah Grizz...... you DID put everything to right.... Right?

I mean.... you got it facing the right way an everything.... Right?

 

*Griz just stands there with a bewildered look on his face*

 

Chip (what's got a real uneasy feeling about this, and is ponder'n BH's outlaw trail suggestion) Tosser

[Sierra Jack Cassidy, SASS 14336Life]

"Damn!!" Cassidy drank the last of his beer and looked around the Saloon (ACS), "Ain't nothin' for it I reckon... we gotta get outa town afore Timberline gets here. We best get a wagon from BH's livery and head out on a tree-fetchin' expedition. We useta find big ones up on that plateau to the West, but for some reason the tree always got airborne or blowed up and got here all scraggly. Let's head towards Buffler Rump... there's some nice pines up that road. Further but safer!"

 

Cassidy

[Chip Tosser SASS#27040L]

Doggone it Cass... I was want'n to just sit here quiet like, an make orneyments....

Here... look at this'n.... It's a lil gavel, Just like the one you used when Me an Duke was was doing the trial thing.... Hehehe... we really went at it with each other on that'n...

Sure do miss my old Pard. We almost got our lawyer'n liscenses fer that'n.

 

I suppose we better git before Miss T shows up.... I don't think I can whittle through bandages

 

Henry, You'n Cass grab the Marshals feet, BH & I will get his arms... we'll throw him in th buckboard.

Be careful ya don't dro...... Hehe.. OOPS..... Bet that's gonna leave a mark.

[Grizzly Dave]

so long fellers, I'll stay and take my punishment. I thought for sure she wouldn't notice since I put the tree back and made it look all natural like.

 

Bottles, leave me a bottle, I don't want to be sober for this...

[Big Jake1001]

Big Jake walks in the Saloon (ACS) through the one bat-wing door wondering what happened to the other one. Looks like someone was in a hurry. Seeing Grizzly Dave drinking from the bottle with no shot glass, he figures Grizzly wants to get drunk fast.

 

After hearing about how he cut down one of Miss Timberlines' trees and taken it back and spiked it in place, he knew the Saloon could get real interesting. "Bottles, let me have a pitcher of beer and a clean mug" Big Jake grabs one of Flints cigars and finds a chair, drags it over to the wall under the stairway in the dark. Good place to be when things start flying.

 

Wishing Miss Rocky and Lizzy Marie was around to catch up on the news of what's been happening in town since he was here last.

 

Big (Whats knows sumpin is going to happen soon) Jake

[Guest Henry Horns SASS #19579L]

O.K. Cass, I got his left foot. Iffen Y'all grab his right, we can make a wish. Dang, it's a long ways down t'other end of Rusty where B.H & Chip are. What's that draggin on the ground?

Well, let's drape him onto tha buckboard and skeedaddle. There's an axe and a small barrel o' powder under the seat, just in case we need 'em.

[Querida Kate, SASS #25555L]

The last star of the evening is slowing fading behind the figure silhouetted against the skyline. Kate's breath forms a steamy cloud as she watches the going-on's down in Toostone. With misty eyes and a crooked grin she too remembers Christmas's past and the epic adventures involved in "Tree Fetch'n Time." Laughing or crying, it's all good as long as you're with friends.

 

Nudging Hammerhead gently, Kate turns his head to the Southwest. "Let's go boy. We'll need bandages. Lots of bandages. Sergeant Fifi told me the Nursifying Nuns were running a little low on supplies. I've a feeling they'll need them before long."

 

 

Querida (thinking that Lefty named the Saloonatics) Kate

[Chili Pepper Kid, SASS #60463]

Chili crawls out from under the table. "Dang I almost missed the Tree fetching, that last jug of Old Tanglefoot sure had a kick like a mule". That reminds me better go check my mule "Thundering Flatuence".

 

Chili walks over ta the stable to check "TF". Just fine except someone gave "TF" a plate of beans. Gonna be a hot time in Toostone purty soon!!!

 

I better go back ta the Saloon and get fortified fer the Tree Fetchin!!! Wonder what ol Chip has planned fer this year?!?

 

Hmmm my want ta go to the Nursifiyin Nuns fer an adjustment on my mustache transplant.

 

 

 

Chili Pepper Kid

[Sierra Jack Cassidy, SASS 14336Life]

The group was quiet as they rode through town... except for Rusty's snoring. As they hit the edge of town they all saw the star at once. Straight ahead, pretty much exactly where they were going, a single white star, seemingly twice as bright as any of the others in the sky.

Topper saw it too and whickered softly, the big white stallion danced a few feet off the road as though he didn't want to keep going. Cassidy placed a hand on his neck, "easy buddy, we'll be fine. I promise we won't be doing any flying this year... I promise!"

Just then Chip pulled up next to Cassidy, "hey Cass, ya hear what Henry said? Dynamite under the wagon seat? I'se been tryin' to figger out a better plan this year... I sorta want to keep everybody happy this year so maybe after we get the tree headed fer Toostone I'll hit the owlhoot trail with BH fer awhile... heh, gotta keep the ol' feller happy too. Anyhow, iffen you got a plan figgered ya oughta know I got an extry eight bottles of Nitro I snuck under the wagon seat too. I think Rusty's usin' the bag for a pillow..."

 

Cassidy

[Grizzly Dave]

After a few pulls from the bottle, Grizz decided he would face this thing head on, so he found the cork and stuffed it in the bottle, put on his coat and swung up into the saddle to go find Miss Timberline. He'd been lied to and cheated by the impostor that much was sure, but he still have to find a way to make it right with Miz T.

[Chip Tosser SASS#27040L]

hehehehehe..... I ran across this today....

Reminded me of several tree fetch'n adventures

 

http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/chr...deoId%26ipt%3d1

 

 

Hope this works..... if'n it don't, try pasting the addy in your browser.

Sorry bout the comercial

 

Wasn't Lefty Miss Kate.

[Sierra Jack Cassidy, SASS 14336Life]

Chip, that tree-fetchin' movie was just like the one time you launched the tree with nitro. Cept as I recall, the tree had a passenger or twa, one of whom was me. Bottles still swears he can spot the patch job in the ceiling.

I was thinking it was you, me, Flint or Suzee that came up with Saloonatics... sorta all at once. Or Tex. Or Duke. But definitely not Lefty.

 

Back to our feature...

 

Cassidy