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Buckshot Bear

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Posts posted by Buckshot Bear

  1. Bruce went to the police station and asked to speak to the burglar who had broken into his house the previous night. 'You'll get your chance in court,' the desk Sergeant Kelly told him. 'I have to know how he got into the house without waking my wife,' pleaded Bruce. 'I've been trying to do that for years.

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  2.  

    Confession Time - My stupidest thing whilst reloading

     

     It’s been over 40 years so I feel safe now entering the public confessional of the Saloon and recounting this story of an idiot......an idiot that happened to be me.

      

    Bought myself a pre '64 30-30 Winchester that had never been fired from one of Sydney's largest gun shops, then Mick Smiths right in the middle of the city. Also bought a Lee reloading kit (the simple one that you used a hammer to make the reloads) and brass, projectiles, powder, and primers.

      

    The salesman gave me a cursory lesson and explanation on how to make a round.

      

    So's anyway, there was (and still is) a very old and well-known rifle range at the Southern end of well-known Maroubra Beach (about 8 kilometres as the crow flies south of the more famous Bondi Beach) I lived then at Maroubra Beach and would go to the range nearly every weekend to blaze away with my new 30-30 and reloads. It was a Monday, and I chucked a sicky and rang up work and said I wasn’t coming in because I was feeling unwell.

      

    I'd load the rounds in my bedroom on my desk, one day I wondered how much powder I'd used out of the tin of IMR 30-31, put the lid on and shook it......felt like it had gone down a bit but wanted to know a little more exactly how much I'd used and how much I had left.

      

    How to tell better? Hmmm jeez I know.....I'll stick my finger in there and see if I can feel powder, that'll tell me how much is left in there easy peasy.

      

    Unscrews lid and shoves finger in hole, can't feel powder but it’s a little tight. Shoves finger in as far as it will go and then twists finger......oh uh that didn't feel too good.

     

    The turned down razor sharp edge of the lip of screw top literally cut a perfect circumference around my finger and to the bone. Tried to pull said finger out, not going to happen. The metal was well and truly now embedded, and I could feel blood running down my finger and dripping inside the can. Worry started to set it, then doubled in a few minutes when I could start to sense a loss of feeling in my finger. 

     

     I had no choice now…….left the house with can of powder hanging from my right hand and got in my car and drove one handed to the emergency department of one of Sydney’s largest hospitals. Found a carpark and wrapped a towel around the gunpowder tin and made my way into the hospital. It’s packed with people sitting down waiting to see a Doctor, I go up to the main counter and get told to take a seat. I unwrap the tin of IMR30-31 and tell and show the guy manning the main counter that I’ve got a tin of gunpowder hangin’ off my finger he loudly exclaims “Gunpowder”??? Now everyone is lookin’ at me……around from his little bastion of authority comes main counter man and immediately takes me to a small room down a corridor. Then things really start getting interesting….Doctors are coming to look and saying they aren’t touching me because of the gunpowder but if they don’t get the can off soon I could lose my finger. The head honcho of the hospital then arrives and tells all in the room that he’s rung triple 000 and the police are on there way…..minutes later I hear police sirens from multiple police cars coming from many different directions all converging on the hospital.

     

    Now remember, I’m only a young bloke some 42 years ago.

     

    Within minutes uniformed police and plain clothed detectives have converged into the room that I’m in. All asking me what I was doing “Making bullets” and how did this happen and why would I come to a hospital with a tin of gunpowder (hey it wasn’t strapped to me like a suicide vest!).

     

    Hand was starting to swell now and I couldn’t feel the inserted finger anymore.

     

    Before much longer the police rescue squad had arrived. Explained everything again and everyone stood around scratching their heads. One police rescue guy got a screwdriver and literally started trying to stab the metal container which made everyone nervous until someone stopped him. More head scratching ensued. Then another police rescue guy asked one of the nurses for a large bowl of water and Ice (42 years later I still wonder why the ice) and again then the guy with the screwdriver starts trying to stab the tin this time under water but once more with no satisfactory result other than almost ripping my finger off.

    Now another police rescue guy speaks up and asks for a old fashioned drink can opener and can opener….more head scratching. One of the police rescue guys volunteers to leave the hospital and go to the shopping centre nearby and buy one. Whilst he’s gone more questioning of me and more headshaking of what an idiot they have sitting in front of them.

     

    Next the head hospital honcho came back into the room and said there’s a bunch of newspaper reporters and a TV crew who’d picked it up on the police scanner at the hospital and they wanted to interview me and was that ok?…….now I was wet behind the ears still but knowing what an idiotic thing I’d done and that I’d rung up work sick that being the headline on the nightly news and the front page of the evening newspaper was not a great idea and said no. I can still see the disappointed look on head hospital honcho guys face.

     

    Eventually the police rescue guy arrived back with can opener and can popper and popped the can underwater and the can filled up and they emptied the can and wet powder out. Then they were able to eventually cut the can off my finger and the doctors were able to get to work on my finger.

    The police rescue team said that they were going to make a note that all the rescue trucks were to have can openers now in case this ever happened again (as if!).

     

    Eventually all left and the Docs finished bandaging up my finger and I was allowed to go home.

    Well, that’s the most stupidest thing that I’ve ever done reloading

    • Haha 15
  3. Do you ever wonder who loves you? Your wife? Your dog? You think they love you, but how do you know if they really do? How can you be sure? There is a way to find out and have peace of mind and it only takes one hour. Simply open the boot of your car, put your dog and your wife in there, close the boot, grab a couple of beers and watch the footy on the telly for an hour or so. Then go back to the car, and open the boot. Now, who is happy to see you?

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  4. An Australian guy goes into a bar in the Greek Islands. Jill, the Australian barmaid takes his order and notices his Australian accent. Over the course of the night they talk quite a bit. 
    At the end of the night he asks her if she wants to have s*x with him.
    Although she is attracted to him she says no. 
    He then offers to pay Her $200 for the deed. Jill is traveling the world and because she is short of funds she agrees. 
    The next night the guy turns up again and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. 
    She figures in for a penny in for a pound - and it was fantastic the night before - so she agrees. This goes on for 5 nights. 
    On the sixth night the guy comes into the bar. But this night he orders a beer and just goes and sits in the corner. 
    Jill is disappointed and thinks that maybe she should pay him more attention. She goes over and sits next to him. 
    She asks him where he is from and he tells her Melbourne.
    "So am I" she says.
    "What suburb in Melbourne?"
    "Glen Iris" he says.
    "That's amazing" she says, "so am I - what street?"
    "Cameo street" he says."
    "This is unbelievable" she says, "what number?"
    He says "Number 20" and she is astonished.
    "You are not going to believe this" she says, 
    "I'm from number 22 and my parents still live there!"
    "I know" he says "your father gave me $1,000 to give to you!"
    He who drinks Australian - thinks Australian!

    • Haha 3
  5. The Carjacking

     

    An elderly woman did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags, drew her handgun, and proceeded to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, you scumbags!"

    The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad. The woman, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags in the back of the car and get into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, to no avail.

    And then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.

    The sergeant, to whom she told the story, nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale males were reporting a carjacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

    No charges were filed.

    • Haha 7
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