Sedalia Dave
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Posts posted by Sedalia Dave
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A group of aeronautical engineering professors were invited to fly for free on a new aircraft that was just being introduced.
As the door was closing and the plane was about to take off, a voice over the intercom said, “Thank you for your confidence in taking the inaugural flight on this new aircraft. It was designed and built by all of your students over this past year.
All the professors began to unbuckle their seatbelts and make their way to the exit door of the plane, with the exception of one, who remained calmly seated with a smile on his face.
One of the professors who was standing in line to exit the plane asked him why he wasn't getting off of the plane, knowing that the plane was built by some of his recent students.
The Professor replied, “Because they are our students.”
Another professor who was standing close by asked, “So you are sure that you taught your students well enough to build this?
The sitting professor smiled and said, “No, I’m not sure, but I AM sure that it won't fly.”-
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4 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:
longrange fuel tank,
Standard equipment
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The Story of Adam & Eve's Dog
Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the Garden, You walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much You love us."
And God said, "I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal and God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And God said, "I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted.And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."
And God said, "I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the Supreme Beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy.
And the Cat ...well, the Cat didn't care one way or the other.
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Stolen from FB
So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour "monitors" and then this happened.
Her - why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me - excuse me?
Her - you are wasting our bags!
Me - if you don't like the way I'm bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.
Her - that's not my job!
Me - okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that's all right with you.
Her - why are you using two bags?!
Me - because the bags are weak and I don't want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.
Her - well that's because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag then you wouldn't need to double bag.
*10 seconds of me just staring at her.
Me - so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don't have to double bag.
Her - exactly.
Me - so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
Her - no because you wouldn't be double bagging.
*me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.
Me - okay so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag I'm still using two bags for these two items.
Her- no because you are not double bagging them so it's not the same number of bags.
*me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show.
Me- is this like that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
Her- never mind you just don't get it.
And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skills.
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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread
in SASS Wire Saloon
Posted