Stogie

Yeah, I was going to type "you guys do know it's a video game" but you beat me to it.

I had only been shooting cowboy for a few matches when I earned the mother of all penalties. I got to the line and ran the pistols very badly then the shotgun portion was to painful to watch. By the time I picked up the rifle I was clueless of what to do so I just did a 10 round dump. I earned a spirit of the game (they never did give me the trophy that goes along with that). This was back during the rank point days so I went from next to last to last place on that stage.

Unless they are republicans

That's cool. Someone should make a Roomba for the yard.

I had to laugh at an ex-girlfreind's son. He's big into fitness and working out. When he bought his first house he went out and bought a reel type lawn mower. "I'll get a workout and the lawn cut at the same time". He made it half way through the postage stamp front yard, left the reel mower where he stopped, and went to buy a power mower.

One thing is certain. Changing the name from UFO to UAP took numerous committees, many studies and tens of millions of dollars.

Driving my truck down the interstate, window down and my hand resting on the door mirror. This seagull comes along and hits my hand with its stomach. Man what a weird feeling. I can never forget while riding a motorcycle in short sleeves. I caught the south end of a north bound bee right in the crook of my arm. That fricken hurt, for a while.

They have a really nice D-Day Memorial in Bedford.

I've always found it ironic that my hearing loss was the exact pitch of my ex-wife's voice.

At ones of the places I used to work there was a very attractive woman the I had become friends with. We'd chat every once and a while and that was it. One day I looked up and she was walking down the main aisle of the machine shop dressed to the 9's. You could the machines shutting down as she walked by. She walked up to me, rolled her eyes and said she hated how the guys looked at her. I said "oh bull sh#*. If you didn't like it you wouldn't dress like that for work and you damn sure wouldn't walk through the shop when you didn't need to". She got the typical shocked look on her face for a second then smiled and said "you right".

Does it have unobtainium?

You must have been in Deep Creek.

When going through paramedic training I had to spend a few rotations through the delivery room. As one woman was giving birth the Dr. commented that the baby was showing meconium staining. The woman says she likes the sound of that and declares that she will name her child Meconium. We all shouted NO!!!!!!! Once we explained to her meconium is the by-product of a baby having a bowel movement prior to birth she changed her mind.

As a machinist I love walking into the engineering office and loudly announcing "You have yet once again designed something that is physically impossible to make".

Why didn't you guys worn me! I married her............for a while.