DocWard

Hey, that means I made an impression, regardless.

I showed this to my eldest daughter this morning. Her response was “I’m pretty sure the first cup is to keep you out of jail.”

I'm not sure why... But I saw this and immediately thought of @Pat Riot, SASS #13748

I’m more of an A&W guy myself, but Mug will do in a pinch.

My body has no doubts at all.

A picture of a booby!

More importantly, they looked at holding office as something they took time away from their careers to do. They did not expect to make fortunes at the job. In fact, many lost money in the process, but accepted it as part of the public service.

Exactly what everyone was thinking, except @Buckshot Bob , evidently.

I'm sure things will level out in the end.

He has his booger hook on the bang switch before he's ready to fire! Duh!

Just remember the old saying. "He who laughs last, thinks slowest."

You may be contagious, but your assertion about vampires made me curious, and I felt the need to investigate further. It seems the vampires we think of today stem from ancient balkan myth, as brought to us by Bram Stoker in Dracula. In the brief research I did, it seems that in that lore, the term applied to a host of un-dead entities, including werewolves, which, as we know, also have a connection with silver. Interestingly, Chinese vampires of myth, called Jiangshi, fear seeing their reflection, which, by logical extension means they have a reflection to be seen. Of course, the question could be proffered as to whether the Chinese used silver for their mirrors, but as I see it this is a moot point, as I will explain below. The constant in these myths is that the vampires are without a soul. For the Chinese Jiangshi, the mirror was a reminder they have no soul. For the vampires as we understand them, the silver in mirrors acts to hold and reflect ones' soul back to them. A vampire, having no soul, would have no reflection. This assertion is, of course, demonstrably false. As I was discussing the subject with my daughter to get a better understanding, she asserted the reflections of vampires cannot be seen "because they are soulless basta..." Well, you get the point. As she said this though, my immediate thought, defense, and reply was, "So are attorneys." As we in the legal field clearly have no problems seeing our reflections in mirrors, I consider your hypothesis refuted.

So a vampire can be seen in chrome? Or black patent leather shoes?

Mrs. Doc reports our newest, Coraline, will get on her back while she is doing planks.

Nah, I don't do Monster. Gimme a Rip It or coffee.

That part of the joke is based upon how he pronounced "Carl" in the series.

Can’t be. No tears in his eyes from the missed opportunity.

I see lots of tires

Everything you need to know about the different branches of the military can be summed up by how they respond to one command. "Secure that building!" The Marines will send a squad in, kicking in the door, performing standard clearing procedures and "neutralizing" anyone inside. The Army will start throwing up concertina wire around it, digging fighting positions, preparing range cards, get their crew served weapons in optimum placement and have their forward observers coordinate with Divarty to mark high speed avenues of approach. The Navy will make sure all of the lights are turned off and the doors are locked. The Air Force will take out a twenty year lease with an option to buy.

I'm just going to say Mrs. Doc is a '66 model, if you will... She looks far younger than her.

The message needs reinforcing...

Don’t forget 10:22 p.m.

I still hate ‘em, I just tolerate ‘em better.