Alpo

All y'all are just jealous that yesterday it was 80° and I was wearing shorts. Neener neener neener.

Apparently in Munchkinland she would still be considered a "little person".

Actually I don't understand how Doris was able to get an annulment. I thought to get the marriage annulled it had to have not been consummated. And she knew it had been consummated. So unless she lied... Nowadays I don't think it matters, but in 1961 I think it mattered.

For the last week or so the temperature has been running in the high seventies/low eighties. I just went outside wearing a pair of shorts to put some garbage in the can. I like to froze. 54° with a 17 knot North wind. I don't know which one of you folks up north left the door open, but shut it!!!

I have a 44, which goes good with my Super Blackhawk and my 29-2. But I need a 41 to go with my 58 and my OM Blackhawk 41. You must have a rifle to go with your pistols. I have very few small arms I do not have long arms to match. I have 30 carbine (actually, that one is "I've got a pistol to match the rifle"), 9 mm Luger, 38/40, 44/40, 45 ACP, 45 Colt, 44 Magnum. And of course 22 long rifle. Need that 41. Why? Because I don't have one, so I need one.

Well, like I said - in the book they said that the mortars had not been test-fired. So take them back to the fantail of the ship and lob a few shells out into the ocean. Not looking for accuracy. Looking to see if they work.

The bottle he had was Polar brand soda water. I spotted that because I drink Polar Seltzer. Store brand soda pop, the way you tell which is which is the color of the label. Red is normally cola, brown is normally root beer. And blue is selzer. But for some damn reason they put soda water in light blue. And I have accidentally bought that a time or two, because they not only put it in almost the same color but they put them right next to each other. "It's not a beverage, it's a mixer." Yeah, phooey. Polar has at least a dozen flavors of water. And they all have a different colored label. And like the store brand soda, they put soda water in a "almost the same color blue" label. I have picked it up and put it back a time or two. Heck, you don't even have to watch it. Just look at the picture. Underneath the red rectangle you can easily see what he has. Polar club soda.

Novel. Army. Ship full of soldiers arrives in Korea with their 50 calibers still in the cosmoline, the soldiers' individual weapons had not been sighted in, and their mortars had never been test-fired. And I had some thoughts. Sighting in the rifles would have probably been difficult. Cleaning the machine guns during that long sea voyage would have given them something to do. And they could have at least test fired their mortars, to make sure that a shell would go thataway. And then I wondered if you could fire the mortars from the deck of the ship.

I thought that was supposed to be "breech" baby, but otto was awful damn insistent.

I had a dream a little bit ago. My (non-existent) wife was telling me about her (non-existent) friends and their "honeymoon breach baby". Then she asked me what a breach baby was, and while I was explaining it I did a graphic - I spread my two fingers apart like I was showing the number two. Apparently I not only did it in my dream but I did it in my bed because I woke holding my hand like that. Which left me wondering about that honeymoon baby. Is that because it was started on the honeymoon - and like Priscilla Presley was born 9 months to the day after the wedding? Or was that because it decided to come out and say "howdy" while on the honeymoon? Reminded me of a Rock Hudson/Doris Day movie - LOVER COME BACK. Rock pretended to be somebody else to cause Doris to fall for him, so he may take advantage of her. And she does. Then she finds out he was lying to her. For some reason this upsets her. They both get drunk, and end up in Maryland in a motel, married. She gets it annulled, and he gets transferred from the New York office to the San Francisco office. He wrote her a letter every day for 8 months, and every one was returned unopened. Then during the 9th month, Alice (The Brady Bunch's maid) called him (she was also Doris's maid) and said that she might be stepping over the line but she figured a man needed to know when his baby was being born. He flew back to New York and as they were pushing her into the delivery room the judge is walking along next to them performing the ceremony. He says "I now pronounce you man and wife", and they go through the door the delivery room, and an orderly out in the hall says to his buddy, "That's cutting it close". Minor legal question here - since they were married when the baby was started, if they had not gotten married there at the end of the movie, so they were unmarried when the baby was born, would it still be legitimate? Seems like it would be to me. Any legal thoughts on that?

That was pretty good. Would have been better if they had been able to make the computer speak English. It's not "ah-me-god" said together quickly as one word. It's oh my God - three separate and distinct words. But maybe that's not that important to non-meat. And it would have went a little easier to follow if the two whatever they are didn't sound so much alike.

Why not buy her men's boots? I used to get men's boots for my daughter all the time. You just have to remember they're two sizes smaller. A woman's size 9 is a man's size 7.

I saw the problem immediately. They used soda water. Soda water is called soda water because it has baking soda in it. Baking soda is sodium bicarbonate. Sodium. Salt. Soda water is salty. He should have used seltzer.

To the tune of Pop goes the weasel Above the babble of Dis-Con II A young pro was heard to bellow The sexiest thing in all of the world Is a bathtub of lime jello

Does it have to be set on the ground - on dirt? Could it be fired from the asphalt street in front of my house, or for that matter from my concrete driveway? Could one be fired from the steel deck of a ship?

The people are pretty good. The guns - not so much. The young lady on your left, that you've got your arm around (does your wife know you've got your arm around the lady on your left?) - her left hand gun is just kind of hanging there on her hip. No holster. The guy to her left is the same. Plus, his gun appears to have a rifle lever instead of a pistol grip. Her pistol grip also appears incorrect, but her hand is blocking part of it so it's hard to tell. The lady on everybody's right has her gun in her hand - well a lot of people have their pictures taken holding their gun. But she's got her finger on the trigger. Shame shame.

It says it has a heel magazine. I assume that means a heel clip magazine catch. But since the magazine extends several inches past the bottom of the pistol grip, I don't see how it can.

So even though, in my example, in the previous inning batter number five got tagged out on the way to first, he's the one that would be on second because number six is up. Got it.

This may sound snarky, but I don't mean it to be. I truly want to understand all the possibilities. Ninth inning. Batter number three in the lineup leads off. Single, and he's on first. Batter number four strikes out. Batter number five just barely gets a piece of it and it dribbles out between the pitcher and the baseline. The pitcher runs over, snags the ball and tags number five. Two away. Spins around and fires it to the second baseman who tags number three as he's sliding in. That's the third out. Number three in the lineup was the third out. Even though number six in the lineup is first at bat in inning 10, number three in the lineup is put on second because he was the last out? Assuming the manager doesn't choose to put whoever he wants out there.

Finish my cookies, decided I did want a cup of coffee. Picked up the empty cup and headed for the kitchen. I was almost to the bedroom door when I remembered to go back and get the plate that I had the cookies on. Does that mean that short-term memory is going worse and worse, or that I am actually remembering but it's just taking a few seconds longer?

I'm sitting back in my bedroom watching Psych. And I think to myself - I believe I would like to have some cookies. Halfway to the kitchen when I say aloud -- guess you ain't going to have no coffee with them cookies, because you left the damn cup back in the bedroom. Again!

Back in the early 2000s. I would have stuff shipped to work. There was always someone there to sign for it, in case there was powder or primers or something of that nature. And it wasn't sitting on my front porch for hours until I got home. I had ordered, from midway, five of the MTM 25 round shotshell boxes. And two thousand round boxes of 45 230 ball bullets. They shipped this order in two boxes. I get a call that I have a delivery and I bring them both back to my office. Open one to find that the box of bullets has shifted and broken both of the MTM shotshell boxes. I sit down at the computer and send Midway an email telling them this happened. 5 minutes later I get a return email saying that they have shipped me to replacement boxes. About 45 minutes later I get another break in my work and I open the second box, to find that the box of bullets in it has shifted and broken two of the three MTM boxes in there. Send Midway another email telling them that two more boxes were broken for a total of four broken MTM shotshell boxes. Few minutes later I get a return email saying that they have just shipped me four replacement boxes. I think about that for a moment and then I emailed them. You sent my order in two boxes. I opened one and found two busted MTM boxes. I told you and you said you had sent me replacements for those two boxes. An hour later I opened the other box and found two more broken MTM boxes. Again I told you and said that made a total of four broken boxes. You replied saying that you had just shipped me four replacement boxes. Does that mean that you have shipped me six replacements for the four broken boxes? Couple minutes later I get a reply - yep, that's what we did. Enjoy the extra two boxes. I like Midway.

Who? I just went and looked that up, because I don't follow baseball so I didn't know what it was. If I understood it - a regular baseball game is 9 innings, right? At the end of 9 the score is tied so they have to go into extra innings. When they start the 10th inning they put a runner on second. Who? Let's say the first batter in the 10th inning is the 6th batter in the lineup. Would they put the fifth batter on second? Or do they get to pick any guy they want to and put him on second? Like maybe their fastest runner?