Alpo

That's one of the things I was thinking about. Also this had happened the previous afternoon and it was morning and they already had the ballistics back. Frequently on cop shows they have people waiting weeks for ballistics. That seemed kind of quick.

This lady called me one time. Left a message on my voicemail. "Susie. I'm going to come down there Friday. If for any reason this would be a bad plan, you need to get in touch with me by Thursday at the latest." She's in Alabama. But my cell phone doesn't charge for long distance, so I called the number back. Told her that she had just called me looking for Susie. Susie did not live at my house so she should recheck the number and try again. And she thanked me and we hung up. About 10 minutes later I get a text. "Susie, I just tried to call you but something went wrong and I got somebody else. I'm coming down to see you Friday." And I texted her back. "Susie still doesn't live here. You still have not gotten in touch with her. Please check your records and verify what number you are trying to dial, because you have called me twice now." Never heard from her again. Didn't even thank me this time. On the other hand, my scoutmaster's phone number was one digit away from a black taxi company. And early Saturday and Sunday mornings he would get woke up by somebody wanting a cab to come pick them up at the Little Savoy or the Harlem Grill (bars in the black section of town). And in his best Amos and Andy impersonation he would tell them that he would be there in about 10 minutes. Then he'd hang up and go back to bed.

I just got a phone call. Since I did not know the number I ignored it. And they left a message. So I listened. It was a good message. She told me her name. Told me what town she lived in. Reminded me that back in June I had installed a new bathtub and she would like, the next time I was in the area, if I could come out and recaulk because the caulk appear to be sinking. Then she repeated her name, spelling her last name. Gave me her phone number and her address. So I called her. Told her that she had just called me about fixing her bathtub but since I was not a plumber she had apparently dialed the wrong number. She thanked me. Said that she wondered about that because his handwriting was so bad, and she had dialed xxxx, but afterwards wondered if that actually was xx5x. She then said, "I suppose you are xxxx". I told her that I was, and she told me that in that case she would let me off the hook and I did not have to come out and fix her bathtub. I told her I appreciated that because I did not really feel like driving out to her town today. And she thanked me again for calling her back and letting her know. And we hung up. Just a nice lady. And knows how to leave a telephone message. I hope that xx5x gets her plumber for her.

Betty, Freddy, spaghetti. All three, including the girl's name, rhyme. Flo, Joe, show. Again, all three rhyme. What do you reckon the third daughter's name is? I'm trying to think of any girl's name that would rhyme with Chuck.

I do something stupid and walk out in front of a bus. Well they're trying to decide whether I need to go to the hospital or the morgue, they find I'm carrying a gun. Would they routinely run ballistics on my gun? That happened on TV show and when they ran ballistics on his gun they found it matched up with three unsolved homicides. Oh my God. They got a murderer. TV. Television makes it seem like every time cops get their hands on a gun they run ballistics. Just like every time somebody dies they do an autopsy. But in real life? Would they? Or would they just give it back to my family along with my wallet and my watch and whatever else that didn't get destroyed by the bus?

That's why both McDonald's and Wendy's have always had a hat as part of their uniform.

I used to have this cassette tape. Songs of the troubles. Roddy McCorley. Black and Tans. And Wearing of the Green. Oh Paddy dear, now did you hear the news that's going 'round The shamrock is forbid by law to grow on Irish ground St Paddy's Day no more we'll keep, his color can't be seen For there's a bloody law against the wearing of the green I met with Piper Tandy and he took me by my hand And said "how's dear old Ireland, how does she stand?" She's the most stressful country that ever you have seen They're hanging men and women there for wearing of the green. My oldest stepdaughter was listening to that, and in total shock she says, "They were hanging people for wearing green??" Try explaining that to a 10 year old.

One year for Christmas I got a very heavy present. When I opened it it was a brick. Not your normal red clay brick with three holes in it. A concrete brick. But it was still 8 inches by 4 inches by 2 inches. And on it my little brother had written with a magic marker: PET BRICK I guess he didn't have any money that year for presents.

I know some people that change Scopes like other people change holsters. Today wear it in a owb, tomorrow when a iwb and then the next day in a shoulder rig. Did not look at the barrel. Was actually examining the back of the action to verify in my mind that the one in the thumb hole was also a Springfield.

I wonder how close Pennsylvania Dutch is to high German? There's a book. The girl is beautiful, blonde, blue-eyed, big boobed. And the guy that sees her and immediately fell into lust assumed from the way she looked that she was German. So he speaks to her in high German. She was not German. She was American. She was Pennsylvania Dutch. And Penn Dutch probably does not sound a whole lot like high German, but they were able to communicate. Pretty sure by the end of the book they got married. They must have communicated pretty good.

I've never called anybody miss. Always call them ma'am. I've called girls as young as 3 years old ma'am. Y'all remember the end of Big Jake? Richard Boone is dying and he asked Duke who he is, and Duke says Jacob McCandles, and the little boy's eyes get real big. Little bit later the little boy - who looked like he was maybe 6 years old - says, "Sir?" And Duke replies, "Yes sir?" Not "yeah?" Not "what you want boy?" "Yes sir?" That's it. Respect. You call a male sir or a female ma'am, and that is showing respect. And it don't matter the least little bit how old you are or how old they are. Sir and ma'am.

My mother told me that she took German in college. And the instructor told the class that no matter how hard they worked in class they would not be able to speak German correctly. "I'm Swiss, so I don't speak German correctly. So I can't teach you correctly."

Same gun in two different stocks? Or do you have a couple of sporterized Springfields?

I'm surprised that people took pictures. Instead of trying to pick that cute little spotted Kitty up and pet it.

I got an email from Menards this morning. They got this gizmo on sale they call a cup crate. This itty bitty plastic milk crate looking thing clips on to the side of your soup bowl, and you can put your soda crackers in it. Or eclipseCLIPS on to the side of your milk glass so you can put your chocolate chip cookies in it. And I thought that was kind of cute, in a nerdy sort of way. And it's on sale for $2. And I thought about that and figured that was probably what it ought to go for - a dollar or two. But the more I thought about it the more I wondered if it was a real thing. And I looked it up. It's real. And MSRP is $15. https://www.orientaltrading.com/clip-on-cupcrate-cracker-carrier-a2-14492232.fltr I would have had to think about it for a while before spending $2 on it. $15?? Yowzer.

Funny I don't quite remember Gleason looking like that.

Is there such a place as Bahama? I've heard of a group of islands called "the Bahamas". With an S. But in the Beach Boys song KOKOMO, they go to Bahama. Is this simply a little literary messing around to make the rhythm work? Or is there actually a place called Bahama?

Can you say idiots? IDIOTS I knew you could.

Women under 30?

In the Northeast United States, women apparently are under the impression that ma'am is an insult. It means old woman. They also apparently believe that in Los Angeles. At least the screenwriters in Los Angeles do. Because frequently, in TV and in movies, somebody will call a woman ma'am and she will get offended. I was watching an NCIS rerun. This was with Kate 3.0. You know first there was Kate. Then she was killed. They replaced her with the Israeli Kate - Kate 2.0. About 8 years later she quit and went back to Israel, and they replaced her with Kate 3.0. This Kate came from Oklahoma. In this particular episode that I was watching someone called her ma'am, and she got bent. "DO I LOOK LIKE A MA'AM TO YOU?????" If she was from New York, or Pennsylvania or Massachusetts, I can see that. But she's from Oklahoma. Don't they say ma'am in Oklahoma?

"Four foul balls you're out" is sandlot rules. It's not even a Little League rule, let alone a softball or a hard ball rule.

It's all coke, except actual Coke, which is Co-Cola. And you don't even think about it. That's what comes out of your mouth. It's like calling a woman ma'am. You don't think about it. You talk to a woman you say ma'am.

Why would the announcer assume it was a strikeout? Assuming she had two strikes already, she hit it foul. Why would that be a strikeout?