Capt. James H. Callahan

A very elderly man gently rear ended another driver at a stop sign, minor damage. The driver was furious, demanded $10,000 on the spot or he would beat the old man to a pulp. The old man said "Gosh, I don't have that much money, I'll call my son, he trains dolphins, he'll know what to do." Old man calls son, driver snatches the phone from him and and says "Hey dolphin boy, you get here with $10K real quick or I'm gonna beat your old man to death, and if you don't have the money I'll beat you too!" Son says over the phone "I'll be there in 10 minutes." 10 minutes later a jeep pulls up, after a VERY brief conversation the son puts a world class beat down on the driver in about 15 seconds, leaves him in a bleeding and moaning mass beside the road. "You OK Dad?" "I'm fine he didn't hurt me." "Good. Dad, one more time.........I don't train dolphins, I train SEALs. Navy SEALs." JHC

Hoobeats. Probably no one left around that will remember. JHC

No meme but.....why do you never fart in an Apple iStore? Because they don't have Windows. JHC

Some 45-50 years ago, a hunting buddy of mine had about a 5 year old girl and a HUGE German Shepherd, probably biggest I've ever seen. The little girl dearly loved to wrassle with me a high school/college age man in the back yard. You get a little rough and that dog would start a low growl and you knew you better back off a bit. If a cougar had gotten into that back yard and attacked that little girl, I don't know who would have won but there would be one helluva fight with that dog! JHC

Get a big dog of several breeds defending a child I would probably bet on the dog. JHC

Some moons ago I went with my Dad to some army reunions. His outfit fought in the South Pacific WWII. One of the guys once had a photo album from Iwo Jima. Japs all blown apart and some BBQed by flame throwers. Pretty gruesome stuff. My dad an many others were standing by to invade Japan when we dropped the atomic bombs and ended the war. Invading Japan would have been a nasty piece of business. I believe it was Yamamoto who said if we invade the US there will be a rifle behind every blade of grass. Invading Japan wouldn't have been much fun either. JHC

Good news! You better get them dishes done. Salty Sarah Callahan is narrow minded about such things. Schoolmarm might get feeling better real quick and slap a knot on yer haid! JHC

If you have 10 odds and ends on the coffee table and the cat jumps up and knocks 9 of them off, is the one left an odd or an end? JHC

People from the south do that a lot. I used to work with a gal, she and her husband were from South Carolina. I was always Mr. Wayne and our boss Mr. Danny. It's a sign of respect I think. Not necessary, but I never get my feelings hurt over respect. Kinda rare nowdays. JHC

Overall good advice I'd say, however there are times you have to pick your battles and stand your ground. JMHO JHC

There are two theories on how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works. JHC

I have one of those and it works great. But they will wear down your blade. I don't use it much on the fine steel, esp large knives. Works wonders on scissors! I've worked a lot with Kairos Prison Ministry, and the church we used for years the kitchen had a good many knives, but the edges were usually little sharper than the backs. At the start of the weekend I would take that Worksharp and have the knives with a pretty decent edge in just a few minutes. The women working the kitchen really loved that. They cut up a LOT of food over a weekend, and of course nothing is worse than using a dull knife. JHC

Some years back Salty Sarah Callahan was wanting some good knives, bought a complete set of Wusthof. Been great knives, I just have to watch she doesn't put them in the dish washer. Funny thing about knives, you can put cheap ones in the dishwasher forever with no problem. Fine steel will rust. Seems bassackwards but that's the way it is. My personal favorite is a Green River butcher knife. Of course it has to be hand washed and dried or it will rust all over the place. I've actually come to like ceramic knives too. Seems like they just never dull. Problem is my wife is real good at breaking the tips off or a chunk out of the blade. Something to consider. JHC

After re reading this thread a few times I think I stuck my foot in my mouth. Not the first time but I try not to make a habit of it. Congratulations Col. Cassidy! Su amigo, JHC

I'm a bit confused if this is a joke. I'm a lowly civilian and not knowledgeable in such things, but I would think you would receive something more than an e mail in such a thing. JHC

Cop pulls a little old lady over for going a little fast. She hands him her DL and LTC. He asks if she is carrying, Yes. Glock 43 in my purse....Is that all?...No, .45 auto under the seat......Is that all.....No, Remington 870 in the back floor and a Mini 14 in the trunk.........Lady, what are you afraid of?.......Not a d*mned thing! JHC

Heard and interesting discussion on talk radio today that got me thinking. Whose brilliant idea was it to add the extra day in Feb. arguably the most miserable month of the year? Why not have June 31???? JHC

500 ml, maybe a liter. JHC

I don't know about you, but that would be about a 2 hr operation for me. And I'd probably need my trailer which is on our farm 50 miles away! JHC

My bug out bag contains a S&W M19. I keep it loaded and 2 speedloaders with 38+P hollowpoints (it is a 2 1/2 " barrel). Also has about 25 rounds each of full house .357 Mag hollowpoints and about 25 rounds of general purpose 158 gr lead bullets at about 1100 fps, my old IPSC just make major load. Hopefully I'll never need it and that will be enough to service. Some years ago there was a big house/shop fire some 300 yards north of my house, across a dinky little road. Dead of winter, dry as a popcorn fart, and a 35-40mph north wind. If the fire got loose and jumped the road it would have been in my backyard in like 2 minutes. Just about how long it would take to get the bug out bag and the dogs in my pickup and haul butt. Thankfully the gallant Clyde Volunteer Fire Dept. kept it under control. But it was a scary few minutes. I sat in my truck and watched until I was comfortable that the danger was past. JHC

Buddy of mine had one......I am a pheasant plucker. I pluck mother pheasants. I am the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker that ever plucked a mother pheasant JHC

Maybe not in that league but.. a skunk sat on a stump. The stump thought the skunk stunk and the skunk thought the stump stunk

Some of it is actually pretty good if you can cook it well. EASY to burn. Of course the good stuff has a crapload of fat. IIRC Redenbacher's and one called showtime or movie time or something can be quite good. I used to work with a gal that would burn it EVERY time, just a matter of how badly. Surprised the FD never got called out or we got to field test a fire extinguisher! No joke! JHC

Good news! Praying for you both. She's right, hospital breakfast is usually disgusting. Some years ago when I was in one I opened the plate and there was these two funny looking things that looked like triangular graham crackers. What the $&?? Turns out they were theoretically French toast. I'm not much of a fan even when it's good and these looked like a horse rolled on them ! Bite or two persuaded me to pass. JHC