Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984
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Posts posted by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984
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Milwaukee Brewers vs. New York Mets - 1:10 PM ET
Los Angeles Angels vs. Baltimore Orioles - 3:05 PM ET
Atlanta Braves vs. Philadelphia Phillies - 3:05 PM ET
Washington Nationals vs. Cincinnati Reds - 4:10 PM ET
San Francisco Giants vs. San Diego Padres - 4:10 PM ET
St. Louis Cardinals vs. Los Angeles Dodgers - 4:10 PM ET
Toronto Blue Jays vs. Tampa Bay Rays - 4:10 PM ET
Minnesota Twins vs. Kansas City Royals - 4:10 PM ET
Detroit Tigers vs. Chicago White Sox - 4:10 PM ET
Pittsburgh Pirates vs. Miami Marlins - 4:10 PM ET
New York Yankees vs. Houston Astros - 4:10 PM ET
Chicago Cubs vs. Texas Rangers - 7:35 PM ET
Cleveland Guardians vs. Oakland Athletics - 10:07 PM ET
Colorado Rockies vs. Arizona Diamondbacks - 10:10 PM ET
Boston Red Sox vs. Seattle Mariners - 10:10 PM ET-
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Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.
First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows."
Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows."
Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows."
Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen.
At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.
First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend."
Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."
They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.
First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish, let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."
Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."
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UCLA instate or out of state?
welcome back!
if you’re curious 13K vs 43K.
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An old man was eating in a truck stop when three rough-looking bikers walked in. As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter. The second biker picked up the old man's milk and spit into it. The third biker turned over the old man's plate before joining the others at the counter.
Without saying a word to the laughing bikers, the old man put his money down, got up, and left the diner. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied," Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles!
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1 hour ago, Alpo said:
The stolen suitcase story reminded me.
Woman said that during one of the frequent New York garbage strikes, she would take her trash and put it in shopping bags and leave it on the seat of her unlocked car. It was always gone by the next day.
I would do that with zucchini from my garden and leave the window open, but when I returned I would have a dozen more zucchini.
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Get him a pair of shower shoes
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Making plans for when they find the body?
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Monopoly has been beloved for generations, but the history of the classic board game isn’t all fun and games. During World War II, specially manufactured Monopoly boards were used to help prisoners of war escape from captivity. In 1940, the British government struck a deal with Waddingtons, the company that manufactured London-themed editions of Monopoly, in which MI9, a secret department of the War Office, tasked Waddingtons with creating a version of Monopoly that contained various tools and information to aid POWs in their potential escape efforts.
The sneakily altered Monopoly boards were distributed to Nazi-run POW camps as part of larger aid packages. In addition to the standard thimble and dog game pieces, each board contained metal “playing pieces” that were actually escape tools, such as a file and magnetic compass. Each version also contained silk maps provided by the intelligence agency, which could be unfolded discreetly without drawing attention. What’s more, these special editions swapped out fake Monopoly money for real German, Italian, and French currency that could be used to bribe guards. The British government also contracted game company John Jaques & Son to create chess sets and versions of Snakes and Ladders that contained hidden compartments with escape tools.
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Stolen from the internet….
My dad tells a story about an acquaintance of his, an elderly woman living in New York. Her dog died. She called the pound and learned there would be a fee if they had to come to her apartment to pick up the dog for disposal, but they would cremate it for free if she brought the body to them. So she put the dog in an old suitcase and took the subway to the dog pound. As she started to climb the stairs with her suitcase, a nice young man opined that her suitcase looked heavy and offered to carry the suitcase up the stairs and then he walked away.
He stole the suitcase.
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5 minutes ago, J-BAR #18287 said:
I bet it was loud for a few minutes. I have been in a room without ear protection when a shotgun was fired (packing house). Not fun.
Mouse fart compared to eight inch howitzer firing a zone charge.
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7 hours ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:
This is a good one.
I would have to agree with @Pat Riot, but then I've lost the list.
Disclaimer:
10.24.2023
12.04.2023There’s a list?
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I’m a thumber
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1 hour ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:
Both of my Grandmothers were French Canadian, so maybe there are some in the states as well.
Definitely!
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51 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:
Now you went and changed units from pints to ounces. This changes things about 20%, though probably fine for spaghetti sauce.
The British Imperial pint is 568.261 ml (20 fluid ounces), while the US Customary pint is 473.176 ml (16 fl oz).
That’s my point, 526 ml (20 UK fluid ounces) compared to US pint 473 ml (16 US fluid ounces.
it’s a standard pub bet where the Brit swears that a uk pint is 25% bigger than a US pint. It is not because the ounce is smaller
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During the Christmas season…
Fred and Gladys, lifelong admirers of the great Russian revolution, decided to go to Moscow to celebrate their Golden Wedding anniversary.
Winter was coming in and they felt a few drops hit them lightly as they walked hand in hand across Red Square.
“Ah, snow.” said Gladys.
“No,” said Fred, “I’m sure it’s only rain.”
“Snow.” insisted Gladys. “It’s just melting as soon as it hits the pavement.”
“Ah. it’s our anniversary; we shouldn’t be arguing.” said Fred. “Let’s ask a local what they think.”
So, together, they approached a man wearing a large, furry Russian hat and, in their best Russian accents asked
“Excuse me sir, This is our first visit to your wonderful city. Would you please tell us if it’s raining or snowing?”
The man smiled indulgently at them. “Good morning - and welcome to Moscow. My name is Rudolph and I am indeed a Muscovite. And I can confidently tell you that it is indeed raining.”
They thanked him and went on their way. Out of earshot Fred turned to ‘Gladys.
“Well I’m afraid you’ll have to concede this time….
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Rudoph the Red knows rain, dear!”
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2 hours ago, John Kloehr said:
Yes, depending on what the meaning of "pint" is.
From:
1.04318 poundsAs per the U.S. measurement system, 1 liquid pint of water equals about a pound (16 ounces) in weight. The actual measure of a U.S. pint of water isn't exactly 1 pound. It is about 1.04318 pounds. On the other hand, the British imperial pint weighs 1.2528 pounds (i.e., 20.0448 ounces).20 imperial fluid ounces? Or us fluid ounces? It’s better not to fuss the details, spaghetti sauce is spaghetti sauce.
We need a sticky cartoon thread
in SASS Wire Saloon
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