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21 minutes ago, Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 said:

  

 

Can we shoot the deer from the restaurant?

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U.S. customs just seized $1.5 million worth of lumber being smuggled inside  a shipment of cocaine.

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Gastroenterologist walks into a bar, bartender says " I'd offer you a booth, but you'll probably want a stool".

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Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:

"Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."

Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Computer really screwed up now.”

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I can't take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep biting him. I should have known this would happen, he's pure bread.

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Well we can't make any more Suez Canal jokes, that ship has sailed.

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Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for 1 year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me 3 times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"$80 per visit," replied the doctor.

"I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.

Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street.  "Why didn't you ever come to see about those fears you were having?" asked the psychiatrist.

"Well 80 bucks a visit 3 times a week for a year is an awful lot of money!  A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money I went and bought me a new pickup!"

"Is that so!  And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!  Ain't nobody under there now!!!"

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11 hours ago, DocWard said:

Is it just me, or does it look like the fire hydrant has a light saber?

You must not get much snow in southern Ohio.

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I think that motorcycle is a BMW.

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14 minutes ago, Alpo said:

And where is the General Lee?

All the confederate monuments had to be torn down.

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2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

Star on the turent, Russian? I wonder if he's blaring " Katyusha" on his stereo?

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https://historydaily.org/if-world-war-i-was-a-bar-fight

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